Shambles stamina seals success


Team: Arnaud, Peter (the hatchet man),
John (the one who runs), Andy "I'm a bel"Lever, Giggs, 
Foxy, Matt, Norman Schwarzkopf, George Wang, anon.

Thursday 2nd Oct, Sichuan Foreign Students, Sichuan University.



"Piss off!"
Matt`s war cry before this key game of the 
holiday period was not designed to gee up the 
team, but it preceded an inspired 
performance from a team missing a few top 
regulars. 

Swings and roundabouts
It most certainly was - spectators were 
treated to end-to-end play, dramatic swings 
in the scoreline and the fortunes of the teams, 
and some choice play from Giggsy, Foxy and 
Normy, as well as Arnaud's red-socked pale 
thin legs and a tantalising flash of his 
underwear.

No way
At the offset few would have backed the 
Shambles to win this spirited encounter.  The 
Sichuan studes came along looking like a well 
organised team, complete with professional 
looking football kit and with a couple of 
overseas trainers.  Being young, fit and able 
to control the ball was another factor in their 
favour.

Tuba
The opposition had the ball in the Shambles 
net in the second minute of play.  A dainty 
combination in midfield culminated in an 
incisive defence-numbing pass. The 
quicksilver striker pounced, leaving Matt 
helpless. The Guinness book of records has 
already been contacted, as the Shambles 
witnessed an opposition goal denied because 
of an offside decision. 

Oboe
Only a minute later the opposition were back 
on the attack. On this occasion Matt got his 
hands on curling free kick, parrying it with 
authority.

Double bass
The students were showing good passing skill 
and good first touch control. Then Mr Andy 
"fuckin 'ell ref" Lever struck in the sixth 
minute.  Following up good work on the left 
side by Foxy and Giggsy, the midfield directed 
the ball to Arnaud, whose right side shot led 
to some confusion in the box. Lever seized 
upon his chance and stunned the crowd.  The 
Shambles were up 1-0.

Wind ensemble
Giggs was repeatedly making effective runs 
down the left side.  It would be a crass cliche 
to say that he was revelling his new found 
freedom.  He was revelling in his new found 
freedom.  One of the few players on the pitch 
taking men on and beating them, he provided 
much of the entertainment in the first half.
In the 11th minute, Andy "Aw com' on" Lever 
was back on the scoresheet. The opposition 
goalie, looking increasingly shaky under any 
sort of pressure. The Manc's sharpish shot 
with the outside of his right foot slipped 
through the keeper`s hands. 


Well played
The Shambles defence was dealing well with 
through balls to the opposition's pacy 
forwards, with an anonymous left back and 
Norm especially deserving of praise.  Big 
Norm marshalled the defence, turning on his 
dynamite pace when necessary.
Nevertheless, there was more cultured 
football being produced by the opposition. A 
backheel throughball which created a scoring 
chance was just one example. By contrast, 
the Shambles' football was rather bitty, 
relying too much on individual action which 
occasionally linked up with other teammates.
However, there were flashes of brilliance, as 
well as of boxer shorts. Arnaud received the 
ball 10 metres in front of the box, dropped his 
shoulder to sell a dummy, rounded the 
defender in style and with only the goalie to 
beat, completely screwed up by shooting well 
wide.

Maracas
Minneapolis Matt was mighty, massive, 
monumental and making great saves.
Three times he was forced to leave his area to 
make crucial brave saves from their 
quicksilver strikers. 

Glockenspiel
Storming Norman continued to be the 
dominant force in defence and the stand-out 
player of the game, but even he and the 
mountainous Matt could not prevent two 
goals in two minutes just before half time. 
The Shambles were visibly tiring. In the break, 
an experienced punter predicted a seven-two 
defeat. So did Mark.

Triangle
The second half did indeed start promisingly 
for the opposition, who always had options 
available to them. The Shambles were lacking 
one of their traditional strengths - a good 
midfield cruncher to break up the pattern of 
play.

Flute
Arnaud then woke up and started to 
orchestrate attacks from his new right 
midfield, putting Foxy through on several 
occasions.  The Foxster hit the post once and 
was so 'on fire', he was like a cornfield after 
lightning.


Viola
20 minutes into the second half, the great sly 
one struck again with a tasty curler, helped on 
its way by the eager-to-please goalkeeper, 
not the brightest light on the Christmas tree.  
Foxy's trademark free kick from just outside 
the area had edged the Shambles out in front.  
The other team was gutted.  His second free 
kick bounced off the bar, cruelly in front of the 
line.

Xylophone
There was one more tsunami in the many 
waves of attacks for the Shamrock to survive. 
Norm made his only mistake of the match, let 
the striker through, but Matt was alert to the 
danger and spread his legs in a strikingly 
handsome fashion.  The ball bobbled off the 
post and the match was all but over.

Crescendo
To round up in conclusion for a summary, it 
was a game which the team genuinely did not 
look like winning, particularly after 
relinquishing their lead just before the break. 
They held together and capitalized on their 
greater stamina, no mean feat after several 
players had been in a lengthy tactical 
discussions the night before.  The lads done 
tremendous.
(c) Frank Lee Desmond