Scrappy Shambles draw on all their resources



Sunday 7th September 2003
Sichuan University

Shambles v.  Local students
3 – 3 (1-3 at half time)


Big
A big crowd turned out for this eagerly 
unawaited match between our international 
tribe of nomad sportsmen and another 
group of representatives of the finest 
Sunday footballers China has to offer.  
However, it turned out that the crowd of 
people who had turned out were looking to 
turn in a performance for the Shambles.  
This being an international friendly, señor 
Carlos del Sladen, imposing player-coach of 
the green-garbed go-getters, was allowed 7 
substitutes, of which he made full and 
fruitful use, displaying a sensitive tactical 
awareness. 
Start
A good start is so crucial for success in 
these one-off encounters – it's almost like 
the FA Cup. Sadly, it was more FU Ckup for 
the Shambles as they found themselves 
two-nil down in about 15 minutes. The other 
team, rather unsportingly, were playing well. 
A compact, skilful and nifty midfield unit was 
darting the ball out to their spritely wingers, 
leaving the Shambles midfield and defence 
in disarray.  Recent departures forced by a 
buoyant transfer market have forced the 
team to go through a period of rebuilding 
and consolidation. Also, the summer break 
has been rather too kind to some players, 
who may not yet be at peak fitness, and 
may never be, ever.
Who ya gonna call?
It was Roger, tirelessly running to create 
space into which the ball was so rarely 
delivered, whom the team called upon to set 
things back on the right road. A quick 
exchange of passes saw the agile American 
with the chance to take on the defence. The 
despair on the goalkeeper's face said it all – 
yet again the net was a-bulge thanks to our 
blue-socked hero of the moment.


Down
Trailing 3-1 at half time, after the defence 
had been outnumbered and overwhelmed 
by a well structured attack, the team 
seemed to have lost its spirit, its 
joie-de-jouer.  The pace of the opposition, 
coupled with their irritating knack of passing 
the ball to each other and then, to add insult 
to injury, being able to run with it at speeds 
which were less than gentlemanly, was 
indeed taking its toll.
Up
The second half was looking less than 
promising for 15 minutes, but, once a solid 
midfield team settled, finally giving the 
defence some assistance as well as creating 
attacking moves from the deep, the 
Shambles imposed themselves on the game. 
Eyeing up his chances
With 25 minutes to go, Carl found himself at 
the gateway to destiny. As his free kick 
sailed in from outside the penalty area, a 
goal-thirsty threesome were charging in to 
head their way into the sporting history 
books.
Stars in his eyes
Fortunately for the Shambles, the opposition 
'keeper is a closet admirer of David Seaman. 
His rendition of the German porn-star 
look-alike's attempted World Cup save 
against Brazil was a touching tribute to the 
legendary pony-tailed moustachioed 
maestro.  The ball passed, untroubled by 
the guardian of the woodwork, under the 
bar to take the Shambles within sniffing 
distance of respectability. 
It had to be you
Forget Wayne Rooney and your other new 
football wonder boys on the TV. Akim (all 
spellings approximate) is the football find of 
the decade. Having graced the defence and 
midfield with his poise, touch and skill, he 
followed up a high ball, and performed a 
Moulin Rouge-style high kick to help the ball 
on its way into the goal. The boy certainly 
can-can play a bit.
An 88th minute equalizer – they'll be calling 
us Scum United next.
In the end the team pulled together to claw 
back a draw against a decent team. After 
such a dreadful start, you couldn't really ask 
more than that. The lads done tremendous.
		?Frank Lee Desmond, September 2003
(Spellings and facts approximate)
Page 2 of 1             		?Frank Lee Desmond April 2003