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Welcome to the new Parents Page!
Welcome! This is a new page on the SYF web site dedicated to football parents everywhere. The goal is to feature helpful information on all sorts of topics. If you have an idea, please pass it on. veteran parents, you know some of the tricks of the trade, water bottles, the first two weeks of practice, that darn hill, the whining and crying, the slide for life extra cloths. Pass on your trade secrets. Topics can include:
* How to keep the kids motivated.
* How to keep yourself motivated.
* What do to when the practices get tough.
* Is every Friday night going to be pizza night?
* Why wont my son let me wash his practice jersey?
These are just a few ideas. Please contact me if you want to post an article. You can e-mail, fax or drop the article off. Thanks
SYF Working With Parents
Stanwood Youth Football wants to involve parents with the childs football experience. We have formed a SYF Booster Club for the 2004 season. The SYF Booster club if made up of parents for parents.
We want and need your help. From Team Parents to car pools to fundraisers to field management, there is something for you.
Please contact Carleen Sams at CBMGSams@aol.com or Allen Scott at 939-2194 spartanfootball@hotmail.com
The Seattle Times Sept 20, 2003
Northwest Life: Saturday, September 20, 2003
Parenting / Jan Faull
What to consider before letting son join football league
Dear Jan: My husband is eager for our 9-year-old son to play football. Our son is on the small side. I don't want him to get hurt. What age and weight should a child be to start football?
A mom
Dear mom: All sports carry some inherent risks. Realize that a collision between two 9-year-olds playing pee-wee football who each weigh in the range of 65-70 pounds doesn't produce nearly the force as two 16-year-old high-school football players who may each weigh up to 200 pounds. Even so, there's still lots to consider with respect to safety when signing a pre-adolescent up for football.
Start by asking league organizers and coaches about proper equipment. Will it be fitted for your child? Will the gear be appropriate for football, including helmets, mouth guards and padding?
Then inquire about the playing fields. Are they well maintained? Lots of ruts and rocks on the playing surface make it unsafe for the rough-and-tumble nature of football. Ask questions about adult supervision. What's the adult-to-child ratio during practices and games? One coach alone can't look out for play around the ball and play that's happening on the rest of the field.
Lastly, ask if the child athletes prepare for games by learning game fundamentals. What skills do the coaches teach? How do they teach game rules? How do they approach sportsmanship?
It's erroneous to believe that making youth team sports similar to high-school athletics will better prepare kids for what lies ahead. Instead, it's better to teach a progression of skills so that as children develop physically they'll gradually play with more sophistication.
As you're soliciting information, you'll be able to determine if the adults involved are committed to safety. Once your questions are adequately answered, then ask your husband why he wants your son to play football.
Does your husband believe that starting your son young will increase the likelihood he'll play into high school and possibly into college? If he does, dispel that notion by reading him this quote from "Children and Youth In Sport: A Biopsychosocial Perspective", by Frank L. Smoll and Ronald E. Smith (Kendall/Hunt Publishing, 2002, $65.95): "Unfortunately, by age 15 as many as 75 percent who have selected a specific sport at a younger age may no longer be participating in it."
The good reasons for involving a child in organized athletics include:
Scheduling time for physical exercise. With the days of backyard football and baseball games past and TV and video games present, it's often necessary to schedule physical activities through organized team sports.
Developing a positive social group. Families with kids in organized youth sports tend to share similar values. Parents find camaraderie with other parents while kids build relationships among teammates.
Committing to the discipline of team practice and play. Despite rain, fatigue or a birthday-party invitation, the child has a responsibility to his team.
Providing a place to use developing motor skills. All kids, no matter their size, stature or physical coordination need the opportunity to develop their large motor skills.
Learning rules, strategy and the competitive nature of the game. The mental challenge of team play transfers to other situations, benefiting kids on and off the field.
Managing emotions on the field and from the sidelines. Kids learn to accept a reprimand from a coach or referee without blowing up or crying. They also learn to accept defeat and win graciously.
For parents interested in a new approach to youth football and other youth team sports, read, "Fair Play: Making Organized Sports a Great Experience for Your Kids," by Scott B. Lancaster (Prentice Hall Press, 2002, $14.95).
Jan Faull, a specialist in child development and behavior, answers questions of general interest in her column. You can e-mail her at janfaull@aol.com or write to: Jan Faull, c/o Families, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111. More columns at www.seattletimes.com/columnists
Motivation: Coaches and Athletes
Here is a segment from the Coaches page.
Motivating Young Athletes
One of the hardest parts of high school football coaching is motivating young athletes to practice. To do this effectively, the coach has to foster an understanding of the relationship between training, practice and peak performance. He must encourage the athletes, provide structured training, and help them gain the self-discipline necessary for success and excellence on the field.
BUILDING THE COACH-ATHLETE RELATIONSHIP
Effective motivation flows from the partnership between coaches and athletes. As coaches, we must understand our athletes as individuals and as a team gain their trust and respect.
We must remember that we're coaching people, not machines. We must teach youngsters the mechanics of a sport, but we must also assist in building their character. Showing support and interest in all facets of their lives helps build an effective coach-athlete relationship.
A good way to demonstrate such personal interest is by working out with the athletes. It will show them that you've been where they are, that you know it's hard work, and that you're willing to sweat, too.
DEVELOPING A WINNING ATTITUDE: SETTING GOALS
At Mount Carmel High School, we think in terms of attitude, motivation, performance, and success. Success is a journey, not a destination. Success is realized the moment an athlete gains a winning attitude, is motivated to set a worthwhile goal, and begins to move toward that goal.
A winning attitude is the best motivator. If athletes believe they can achieve their goals, they'll try harder and increase their likelihood of success.
A positive coach-athlete relationship lays the groundwork for this attitude, and the setting of clear-cut goals helps establish it. Coaches should help the athletes set long-term goals and encourage them to achieve these goals through a series of short-term goals.
The incremental goals will keep motivation high, while giving the athletes an ongoing sense of achievement. Once the athlete begins developing a sense of accomplishment, he will be motivated to try even harder.
At Mount Carmel, we have our athletes write down a goal and the obstacles they anticipate in reaching it. We then identify the steps to take and the short-term achievements leading to the goal.
For example, if a football player wants to play wide receiver but isn't fast enough, we set short-term goals to increase his speed. Each tenth of a second improvement in speed will motivate him to try even harder. If he increases his speed enough, we will give him a chance at wide receiver. If he doesn't, we will examine why and set up a new workout schedule.
INCENTIVES AS MOTIVATORS
Incentives (material rewards for good performance) are commonly used for motivation, but may only be effective on a short-term basis. Athletes may become satisfied once they achieve rewards, such as helmet stickers or plaques, and the rewards will lose their power to motivate. We often have to increase the value or quantity of incentives to motivate players on an ongoing basis.
FEAR MOTIVATION
We do not believe that fear motivates. Fear motivation, or punishing players to "motivate" them, is only a temporary expedient. After repeated exposure to fear tactics, athletes become immune to threats, and continued punishment may destroy their desire to participate. It's difficult to justify using fear to motivate young players.
T-E-A-M
It's important to remember that athletes can motivate one another. We usually split the players into drill groups and score them as a team rather than as individuals. These training sessions help build team morale and make the players feel they have invested in one another. Each player has a responsibility to the team. We share the short-term goals of improving attitudes and basic skills with the long-term benefit of overall improved performance.
SUMMARY
Motivation is simply a means to an end. If we provide exposure to positive ideas over a long period of time, we will produce a successfully motivated athlete.
To summarize, this is our Mount Carmel Credo: Attitude controls motivation; motivation controls performance; performance controls success. And there's no I in T-E-A-M.
17 reasons Why Football is Better Than High School
SEVENTEEN REASONS WHY FOOTBALL IS BETTER THAN HIGH SCHOOL
by Herb Childress
As an ethnographer, Mr. Childress was able to watch more than a hundred high school students in a variety of circumstances. Here's what he learned.
WE DEFINE SCHOOL as a place of learning. But as I visited classes in the high school in which I was an observer for a year, what I saw mostly and what the students told me about most frequently was not learning at all, but boredom. I saw students talking in class, not listening to lectures, having conversations instead of working on their study guides, putting their heads on their desks, and tuning out. Teachers talked about what a struggle it was to get students to turn in their homework at all, much less on time. Students picked up enough information to pass the test, did their work well enough to get the grade, and then totally forgot whatever it can be said that they had learned.
We adults could see this as yet another moral problem. We could call young people lazy and tell one another that they won't put any effort into their work. We could press for more testing to tell us that sure enough test scores are declining. We could seek more penalties when students don't do well in class more ways to coerce them into doing their work. We could talk about going "back to basics," which is to say making school an even less appealing and more restrictive place than it is now.
But as an ethnographer, I had the advantage of hanging around with more than a hundred of this school's students outside the classroom, and I got to watch them in a variety of circumstances. For example, in February I spent one Thursday through Saturday with Bill, a junior who had good grades during his first two years of high school but lost interest in school during his third year. I watched him not bother to study at all for a French test and fail it. I watched him skip a class and play a computer game instead of writing his article for the school newspaper. I watched him get busted in a couple of classes for tardys and talking. But that same guy on that same weekend spent two hours running full out in a soccer practice and spent more hours than I can count playing hacky sack. (He taught me how to play acceptably well, no small achievement in itself.) He cooked a wonderful dinner at home one night and worked five fast-paced hours at his restaurant kitchen job the next night. He spent most of his home time playing games invented by his little brother and sister, who loved him. He spent two hours surfing on Friday and three more hours preparing for another surfing trip on Sunday.
When I was with him in school, he was an archetypal slacker, but when I was with him outside school, he was a person with a lot of interests things that he was dedicated to and good at doing. And that pattern carried over to many of the students that I followed. I watched other young people operate computers and wash horses. I saw them playing video games that had dozens of rules and literally hundreds of decisions to be made every minute, and I watched them play card games that I couldn't begin to understand. I watched them drive four-wheel-drive trucks at insane speeds on dirt roads and watched them working on those trucks as well. I watched them acting, opening their hearts in front of hundreds of people. I watched them wrestling and playing the piano. I was privileged to see them doing the things that they loved to do. The things that they put themselves into without reserve, the things that they were damn good at. The students I knew were a skilled bunch of people. So why didn't those skills and capabilities and that enthusiasm show up more often in the classroom?
In the school that I observed, I saw striking and strikingly consistent differences between the perfunctory classroom sessions and lively extracurricular activities. The same students who were emotionally absent from their classes came alive after school. We say, "If only she'd spend as much time doing her algebra as she does on cheerleading . . ." with the implication that students blow off algebra because they're immature. We don't usually think to turn the question around and ask what it is about the activities they love that is worthy of their best effort. We don't usually ask what it is about school that tends to make it unworthy of that kind of devotion. But if we're interested in looking at places of joy, places where students lose track of how hard they're working because they're so involved in what they're doing, places where teenagers voluntarily learn a difficult skill, places that might hold some important lessons for schools, football is a good choice.
Let me give you 17 reasons why football is better for learning than high school. I use football as my specific example not because I love football; I use it because I hate football. It's been said that football combines the two worst elements of American society: violence and committee meetings. You can substitute "music" or "theater" or "soccer" for "football," and everything I say will stay the same; so when I say that football is better than school, what I really mean is that even football is better than school.
1. In football, teenagers are considered important contributors rather than passive recipients. This attitude is extraordinarily rare in teenage life, but it is central to both learning and self-esteem. A football team is framed around the abilities and preferences of the players; if there's nobody who can throw the ball but three big fast running backs and a strong offensive line, the team isn't going to have an offense that dwells much on passing. But the geometry class and every student in the geometry class has to keep pace with the same state-ordained curriculum as every other school, regardless of the skills and interests and abilities of the students. Football players know that they, and nobody else, will get the job done. Students know that they are considered empty minds, to be filled at a pace and with materials to be determined by others.
2. In football, teenagers are encouraged to excel. By this, I don't mean that players are asked to perform to someone else's standards (which may already be limited); rather, they are pushed to go beyond anything they've ever been asked to do before, to improve constantly. There is no such thing as "good enough." We congratulate players on their accomplishments, but we don't give them much time to be complacent we ask them to do even more. In the classroom, we give them a test on polynomials, and the best result they can get is to score high enough to never have to deal with polynomials again.
3. In football, teenagers are honored. Football players get extraordinary amounts of approval: award banquets, letter jackets, banners around the campus, school festivals, team photos, whole sections of the yearbook, newspaper coverage, trophies, regional and even state recognition for being the best. The whole community comes out to see them. We put them on floats and have parades. That doesn't happen for members of the consumer math class.
4. In football, a player can let the team down. Personal effort is linked to more than personal achievement: it means the difference between making the team better or making it weaker, making a player's teammates and coaches grateful for his presence or irritated with his apathy. A single player can make his peers better than they would have been without him. That's a huge incentive that we take away from the classroom with our constant emphasis on individual outcomes.
5. In football, repetition is honorable. In the curriculum, we continually move forward, with not much opportunity to do things a second time and get better. Students have to do new things every time they get to class. In football, students do the same drills over and over all season long and, in fact, get better at them. The skills get easier, and players start to use those skills to do things that are more complex.
6. In football, the unexpected happens all the time. Every player will line up across from the same opposing player dozens of times during a game, but he knows that, each time, his opponent could do something different, and he'll have to react to it right in the moment. There's no opportunity to coast, to tune out, to sit back and watch others work. Every player is required to be involved and absorbed in his work, and a talented player who holds back is typically held in lower regard than his less talented but more engaged teammates. Contrast that with a normal class period, scripted by a teacher with the idea that a successful class is the one that goes as planned, with the fewest disruptions, and it's clear why apathy can be a problem in the classroom.
7. In football, practices generally run a lot longer than 50 minutes. And when they end, there's a reason to stop: the players work until they get it right or until they're too tired to move anymore. There's no specific reason that a school class should run for 50 minutes instead of 35 or 85, and there's no reason why classes should run the same length of time every day. The classroom schedule responds to pressures that come from outside the classroom state laws, other classes, even bus schedules. The football practice schedule is more internal the coach and team quit when they're done.
8. In football, the homework is of a different type from what's done at practice. Students do worksheets in the classroom and then very often are assigned to do the same kind of worksheet at home. Football requires a lot of homework that comes in the form of running and weight training, things not done at practice. Players work at home to find and build their strengths and then bring those strengths to practice to work together with their teammates on specific skills. The work done at home and the work done in common are two different jobs, and each is incomplete without the other.
9. In football, emotions and human contact are expected parts of the work. When players do well, they get to be happy. When they do poorly, they get to be angry. Players are supposed to talk with one another while things are going on. But we have no tools to make use of happiness or frustration in most classrooms, and we generally prohibit communication except for the most restricted exchanges. When we bring 30 students together and ask them not to communicate, not to use one another as resources or exhort one another to go further, then we make it clear to them that their being together is simply cost-effective.
10. In football, players get to choose their own roles. Not only do they choose their sport, but they also choose their favorite position within that sport. In the classroom, we don't allow people to follow their hearts very often. We give them a list of classes they have to take, and then we give them assignments within those classes that they have to do, and we don't offer many alternatives. We've set the whole school thing up as a set of requirements. But sports are a set of opportunities, a set of pleasures from which anyone gets to choose. Each one of those pleasures carries with it a set of requirements and responsibilities and difficult learning assignments; but youngsters still do them voluntarily, following their own self-defined mission of seeking their place in the world.
11. In football, the better players teach the less-skilled players. Sometimes this teaching is on purpose, but mostly it is by example. Every player is constantly surrounded by other players who can do things well and who love doing what they do. The really good players are allowed to show off in fact, it's demanded that they show off, that they work to their highest capacity. The people who aren't as good observe that. They don't simply see skills they can learn; they become inspired. They get to see another person not just the teacher but a peer who knows what he's doing and who loves to do it. In the classroom, the best students aren't often given a chance publicly to go beyond what everyone else is doing. They're smothered, held back, kept to the same pace as their classmates. We give the appearance of not caring so that we won't be hurt when the students don't care either.
12. In football, there is a lot of individual instruction and encouragement from adults. A coach who has only the nine defensive linemen to deal with for an hour is going to get a pretty good sense of who these youngsters are, what drives them, what they can and can't do. And those players are going to see the coach in a less formal and more human frame; they get to ask questions when questions arise without feeling as though they're on stage in front of 30 other bored students.
Let's admit a basic truth: bigger classes make personal contact more difficult. The school I was in had an average class size of 27 students. That was considered pretty good, since the statewide average was 31. But as I looked around the halls at the team photos in their glass trophy cases, the highest player-to-coach ratio I saw was 13 to one; sometimes it was better than 10 to one. There was one photo of the varsity football team with Coach Phillips and his three assistants surrounded by 35 players; erase the three assistants from the picture, and you could have had a photo of any one of his history classes.
On the first day of freshman basketball practice, 23 hopefuls tried out, and by the end of the first week, there were still 17. On the next Monday morning the coach said to me, "I sure hope some more of these kids quit. You can't do anything with 17 kids." True enough so why do we expect him to do something five periods a day with 25, 30, or 34?
13. In football, the adults who participate are genuinely interested. The adults involved in football are more than willing to tell you that they love to play, that they love to coach. And they don't say it in words so much as in their actions, in the way that they hold themselves and dive in to correct problems and give praise. But the teachers I watched (and the teachers I had from grade school to grad school) were, for the most part, embarrassed to death to say that they loved whatever it was that they did. It takes a lot of guts to stand up in front of 25 students who didn't volunteer to be there and say, "You know, dissecting this pig is going to be the most fun I'm going to have all day." We're candidates for the Geek-of-the-Month Club if we let people know that we really love poetry, or trigonometry, or theater, or invertebrate biology. And so we often hide behind a curriculum plan, a textbook, and a set of handouts, and we say, "You and I have to do this together because it's what the book says we have to do." We give the appearance of not caring so that we won't be hurt when the students don't care either.
But it was only in those few classrooms where the teachers said, both in word and in action, that they absolutely loved what they were doing, that the students were engaged, that they learned. I talked with a lot of students and their teachers and their parents about what they loved to do, whether it was photography or surfing or hunting or reading things that are real skills. And when I asked how they got involved in those activities, both the young people and the adults always answered that it was someone who got them interested, and not anything intrinsic in the event itself. They followed someone they respected into an activity that that person loved, and they discovered it from there.
14. In football, volunteers from the community are sought after. No sports program in a high school could ever operate without assistant coaches, trainers, and other local people who aren't paid to help out. These people give hours and hours to the school in exchange for a handshake, a vinyl jacket, and a free dinner at the end of the season. Volunteers are a natural part of human activity. There are almost never volunteers in the classroom no adults who seem to believe that math or chemistry is so interesting that they would help out with it for free on a regular basis. There's no sense that anyone other than "the expert" can contribute to a discussion of ideas.
15. In football, ability isn't age-linked. Freshmen who excel can play varsity. In a ninth-grade English classroom, an extraordinary student can't go beyond what the other ninth-grade students are doing, even if he or she could profit from what's being assigned to the seniors. When a student tries out for football, he gets a careful looking over by several coaches, and if he's really good, they're going to move him up fast. In the classroom, if that same student is really good if he's inspired one person sees it and gives him an A. Big deal it's the same A that someone else gets for just completing the requirements without inspiration. The pace of advancement in football isn't linked to equal advancement in another, irrelevant area. If a boy is an adequate JV basketball player but an extraordinary football player, the football coach isn't going to say that the boy has to stay with the JV football team so that he's consistent with his grade level. No way! The coach is going to tell that player, "Come on up here; we need you." Have you ever heard an English teacher recruit a young student by saying, "We need you in this classroom"? Have you ever heard a science teacher say, "Your presence is crucial to how this course operates we're not at our full potential without you"?
16. Football is more than the sum of its parts. Players practice specific moves over and over in isolation, but they know that their job at the end is going to mean putting all those moves together. In school, we keep the parts separate. We don't show our students how a creative writer might use a knowledge of science; we don't show them how a historian might want to know about the building trades; we don't show them how a mechanic can take joy in knowing about American history. We don't let our students see the way that all these different interests might come together into a worthwhile and fascinating life. We pretend they're all separate.
17. In football, a public performance is expected. The incentive to perform in front of family and friends was a great motivating force for the athletes I knew. The potential for a poor performance was another motivator nobody wants to be embarrassed in public. These students were contributing an important civic service to their small community, with over a thousand home fans at every game, and they took that responsibility seriously. But schoolwork is almost always performed and evaluated in private. Successes and failures are unseen and have no bearing on the happiness of others.
No single one of these 17 patterns taken individually constitutes a magic potion for a good learning environment. But when we look at these patterns taken together, we can see that football has a lot to recommend it as a social configuration for learning. I'm not going to argue that we should give up on school and focus on football. What I am saying is that we have a model for learning difficult skills a model that appears in sports, in theater, in student clubs, in music, in hobbies and it's a model that works, that transmits both skills and joy from adult to teenager and from one teenager to another.
We need a varsity education.
Herb Childress holds a doctorate in Environment-Behavior Studies from the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee. His ethnography of a Northern California high school, "Landscapes of Betrayal, Landscapes of Joy," is available from University Microforms International, Ann Arbor, Mich. He can be reached via email at miaktxca@aol.com.
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A Tribute...
A Tribute To The Spartans & All That Understand...
Whether you played youth, high school, college or pro ball, you understand this picture. It causes you to pause, maybe smile, maybe say, "yup," maybe even "damn." It may cause you to nod your head, maybe give you a rush of emotion. But why?
Perhaps, because once you strapped on a football helmet and in so doing, you, like these youngsters, chose to do things that most in this world are never willing to do and simply can't do. And that's to play this most demanding of sports simply for the love of the game and your teammates. You can relate to the picture. You understand that the moment before the controlled explosion begins, your thoughts-your motives--are crystal clear. Everything is in focus and there is no color. It's black and white. Push or be pushed, win or lose, live or die. The game is a microcosm of the universe, beautiful in it's simplicity, unforgiving in its violence.
Only those who have played can understand all this; but even then, its so hard for them, for us, to describe what the game feels like, particularly to the uninitiated. Language is simply not up to the task.
Players get a unique feeling from this game, almost like they've rubbed up against a universal constant or universal truth that, for some reason, only football can give. It's seemingly indescribable. It's a universe where the participants communicate with a sixth and seventh sense. Gestures, eye contact, signals, feelings become the language of this universe.
Images like this somehow rekindle that contact with the universal constant or truth that football gave you. It strikes a chord somewhere in your soul. You know that feeling. If you are looking at the image now with a fellow football player, you probably look at the picture, turn to your colleague and smile, maybe nod, because you both understand.
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Prevention Education
Football as Prevention Education
"Eyes up!" the Center barks as his Quarterback enters the huddle. The offensive line and backs snap to a ready position and turn their heads to see and hear his call. "Flex Double Star, Orbit, 54, T Quick Out. On 2, on 2, Ready...Break!". All eleven claps sound like one great smack, and the team hustles to the line of scrimmage to carry out their assignments. The defensive players are already communicating to each other on the run; "Lucky, lucky move!", "Ace, ace!", "Motion!, check 2, check 2!", "Keys, keys!"
The quarterback, listening to this communication and watching the movement, puts his hands under center and barks the cadence. The ball is snapped. The defensive players again begin their vigilant chatter; "Pass, pass, pass!", "Ball, ball!" All twenty-two players are in the midst of making full speed decisions based on their knowledge and skills. What happens next is a set of variables which will determine multiple possible outcomes of one of more than 120 such occurrences during the game.
This is like taking final exams every Friday night in front of 2,000 people and getting instant feedback on the results. Consequently, coaches and players take learning very seriously, and both are very highly motivated to get it right!
"Getting it right" includes some rather fascinating pieces. As a Football Coach, I have learned to focus on teaching skills and concepts related to the game. However, as Director of a Student Assistance Program (SAP), I have renewed my understanding of the importance of encouraging belonging, learning, and contributing, as well as the nurturing of such characteristics as courage, responsibility, and cooperation. Football and SAP. An interesting mix, to say the least, with very interesting possibilities.
One of our approaches to alcohol and other drug prevention education is to enhance "protective factors" and to foster "resiliency" in our young people. If the definition of "resiliency" is the ability and motivation to "bounce back" in the face of adversity, then Football is a "learning lab" for discovering one's innate predilection toward resiliency. When handled well, all the ingredients are there: pervasive caring, high expectations, and ongoing opportunities for meaningful participation. This is not just membership, it is intense engagement. We spend concentrated periods of time learning skills and constructing an attitude that says, "I can handle whatever comes my way, and I have friends who will help."
Coach and quarterback make eye contact as we consider our options on 3rd Down. We have practiced several possibilities during the week and we have these on the script. Considering what we have done the past two 3rd-and-short situations, and how the defense has defended, I select the formation and the play. The quarterback, however, has the option to change the play at the line of scrimmage based on "pre-snap" reads or pure "gut instinct". If he does make that change, he must communicate to the other ten players, very clearly, what change has occurred. Since we have practiced these situations, the other ten players will even know why he has made the change. "Eyes up!" "Right, 12 Veer, on the first sound..on first sound..Ready...Break!" All of the above plus the initiation of the next response on this night's "final exam", must occur within 25 seconds.
Every crisis (3rd down, 4th and goal) is an opportunity to pull together and show what we can do as a team and as individuals. Our team goal is 75% 3rd down conversion. We expect to reach it, and often do, even though this percentage would be considered by many to be ridiculously high. Our philosophy is that if we aim very high and only come close, we have not failed but have gained. Setting long, medium, and short range goals is a part of what we do. In many instances, we get immediate feedback. First Down, or punt! In all cases we must evaluate, re-set, and renew our efforts.
The entire process of going through situation after situation in which we can succeed or fail, come close or make it big, are opportunities to learn, re-focus, and continue. Winning and loosing become the same, then, in one very important sense. We learn from both. We do not spend a lot of time talking about winning. Rather, we talk about, and work on, what we do. This is the focus we take into a game. The opponent creates the adverse conditions through which we will become stronger as the game goes on. We are great learners. We are better players in the fourth quarter than we were in the first, because we learn during the game. We have a sense of self-efficacy; "I have a clear vision of what I want and the knowledge and skills to realize that vision".
Adaptation to change is imperative. Change is the only reality. Football players work daily on making "full speed" decisions based on knowledge and skill. Adjusting "on the run" or "sight adjusting" for us refers to being flexible in all the various situations that might come up in a game. Internalizing the ability to adapt is an absolute must for success. This is "resiliency training" at its best!
From helmets and shoulder pads, to resiliency and self-efficacy, the protective factors are there. Inclusion, responsibility, ownership, opportunity to contribute, all are a part of the football field as "learning lab". When approached in this way, we have an invaluable tool for fostering resiliency and encouraging the development of goals and a vision. We are doing prevention.
Sunday, May 7
SUPPORT YOUR CHILD- Tips for reducing your child's stress level
Several years ago USA Today released a survey of young athletes that found that 41 percent admitted they wake up during the night worried about a game.
That's a lot of stressed out children arriving at fields, rinks and gyms with unwanted pressure draped on them that cripples their ability to perform at their best, as well as drains a lot of the fun out of the sport.
Be on the lookout for any indication that your child is feeling a heavy dose of pressure this season. Headaches, muscle aches, sleepless nights and digestive problems are all warning signs that should not be easily dismissed.
The following are some tips to keep in mind to help reduce your child's stress level and increase their enjoyment:
Children must be made fully aware that it's OK if they make mistakes during games. As psychologist Orv Owens explains, "I know a corporation that promotes people by how many mistakes they make. And you can see how that frees them. All of a sudden they're relaxed, which means they don't make very many mistakes. But the person making the most mistakes is normally the one who's doing the most. In basketball there are a lot of players who will never shoot because they're afraid they might miss.
In football, there are quarterbacks who will take a sack before they throw the ball - because they're afraid they're going to be intercepted. The problem with that, of course, is if you never shoot the basketball, you will never score a basket; and if you don't throw any passes in football you won't complete any either."
Be honest with your child about what you expect from them. Children naturally want to please their parents, and when it comes to sports that means scoring goals, hitting home-runs and catching touchdown passes. It's up to you to constantly remind your child that you simply expect them to do their best and have fun in the process.
Make sure your actions during and after the game back up what you've told your child. That means taking them out for a post-game ice cream regardless if they went 4-for-4 or 0-for-4 during their baseball game. That also means cheering not only just the good plays, but making sure you acknowledge when they hustled to run out a ground ball, when they're showing improvement in any aspect of the sport, or they demonstrated good sportsmanship.
Talk to your child to make sure they have realistic expectations themselves prior to the season. If this is their first year playing hockey, for example, help them to focus on developing some basic skills and then working to improve them as the season progresses.
Sunday, May 7
TALKING TO YOUR CHILD- Helping your child conquer pre-game jitters and stress
TALKING TO YOUR CHILD
Helping your child conquer pre-game jitters and stress
By Dr. Andrea Corn
What might cause a child to become so worried and stressed out prior to a game? In a nutshell, it has to do with having unrealistic thoughts and expectations about one's athletic performance.
A child can become overly anxious to the point where they are convinced that their athletic performance is not good enough.
First, in handling the problem, a parent needs to begin by calmly explaining to their child that becoming nervous before a game is a normal and understandable experience. Once your talk is finished, demonstrate your reassurance with either a comforting look or a caring gesture. This will go a long way to help ease your child's fears, as sometimes words can only go so far and reinforcement is always necessary.
From there, your child usually will start to be preoccupied with the next match, thinking the upcoming game will prove once and for all that their athletic performance is a big letdown to them. Anticipating that they cannot perform at the parental level expected, or that of their coaches and peers (whether this is true or not, but perceived to be) can create fears that seem real because of the bad feelings generated. However, having these worrisome, scary, or disturbing feelings does not mean that your young athlete isn't good enough, or that having such ideas and accompanying feelings makes it true.
It is up to you, as the parent, to differentiate and explain to your child that they will always be loved and accepted for who they are, and that is separate from what occurs on the playing field. Thus, no matter whether your son or daughter plays well, poorly, or in between both ends, it will not change your relationship with them. Anxious children are overly concerned about how they are perceived by others, and this excessive worrying can lead to feelings of self-doubt, inferiority, and inadequacy.
For instance, if you hear your child say, "I must do well in this sport" and associates this with "I know you will be upset with me and I'm not good enough," that requires special attention. In these sentences, it's the word must that gives it a compulsive quality and creates the anxious apprehension. If your child expresses something even remotely similar, chances are anxiety is already starting to build and can escalate to interfere with your child's athletic performance. When taken to the extreme, fantasies of rejection could be imagined.
The first step in alleviating this situation is to become a good listener. This alerts you to be more aware of an anxious comment, so they can be acknowledged and addressed. Next, try to help your child become aware of his or her internal feelings and the resulting effect they may have on his or her mood. The third step is to model self-assurance (how to talk silently and supportively to oneself) as a means of recognizing, catching, modifying, and eliminating the worries that fill your young athlete's mind.
For instance, what if your child tells you that he or she is worried about missing too many basketball shots and being teased by the others players as a result. You want to encourage your child to change this critical thinking to a more supportive thought. You could suggest to your child to quietly say to him or herself, "I will give it my best shot, and that is all I can do." (Or something comparable.) Once this kind of reassuring statement is internalized, it will be a foundation for instilling confidence and trust.
On the other hand, if your child starts to personalize mistakes and blames themselves for situations beyond their control, it may then be inevitable that your child finds ways to avoid playing. This may take the form of sickness, having stomachaches or headaches, or deciding to stop participating all together. When a child starts making unfounded and negative statements about their performance, one must look for symptoms, such as losing sleep or wanting to sleep more than usual.
The fear of disapproval and/or failure arises because the focus is on one aspect of the game - the outcome. Therefore, it is important to work on shifting or broadening your child's perspective to contain something that is both realistic and reachable. This may be simply having fun, trying one's best, or working on improving basic skills rather than concentrating on the final score.
Ideally, you want to see your child's sports enjoyment provide its own personal fulfillment. In turn, that will foster the best reward, which is having a love of the game and the intrinsic desire to play competitive sports. On the other hand, if what is instilled in the child is the idea that winning is all that matters, or that defeating the opponent is the way to measure success, then there is a greater likelihood your child will begin to display sports anxiety, since that imposes less control over his or her own athletic destiny.
Andrea Corn, Psy.D., is in private practice at Child and Family Psychologists in Plantation, Florida. She is a member of the American Psychological Association, the Florida Psychological Association and the National Association of Sports Psychologists.
Sunday, May 7
POSITIVE PARENTING- Advising Parents on Providing Positive Feedback to Their Children
Youth football is an arena in which children need to hear constructive messages from their parents, even when they fumble the ball or the team loses.
Jim Thompson, Executive Director of the Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA), has some tips for parents and coaches for keeping the spirits of players high.
First is the concept of filling the "emotional tank." Compliments, praise, and positive recognition are tank fillers. Some examples of tank drainers are criticism and correction, which are specific types of feedback that should be delivered in a way that does not undermine a child's self-worth.
Balancing the tank fillers and tank drainers is a way for parents to maintain a positive sports environment.
"One of our key ideas is the Magic Ratio. If you think about things we say to players as being tank fillers and drainers, we recommend a 5:1 tank filler to tank drainer ratio. A player is better able to absorb criticism if his emotional tank has been filled," said Thompson.
Although Thompson recommends this approach for coaches, it is perhaps even more important for parents. A parent's primary responsibility revolves around making sure his or her child gains valuable lessons from the football playing experience.
The PCA offers tips and advice to parents at games:
Fill your child's "Emotional Tank" through praise and positive recognition so they can play their very best.
Don't give instructions to your child during the game. Let the coach correct player mistakes.
Cheer good plays by both teams.
Point out good calls by the officials to other parents.
If an official makes a "bad" call against your team, honor the game-BE SILENT!
If another parent on your team yells at an official, gently remind him or her to honor the game.
Don't do anything in the heat of the moment that you will regret after the game. Ask yourself, "Will this embarrass my child or the team?"
Remember to have fun! Enjoy the game.
In addition, the PCA advises parents to seek out conversations about sports with their children.
The following are suggestions for how to engage children in these conversations:
Establish Your Goal-A Conversation Among Equals: Your goal is not to give advice on how to become a better athlete. It should be to engage your child in a conversation among equals, one of whom (you!) is on the side of the other.
Adopt a Tell-Me-More Attitude: Listen! In many instances you may know exactly what your child can do to improve. Your goal is to get your child to talk about his sports experience, so ask rather than tell. Save your tellings for another time.
Use Open-Ended Questions: Some questions lend themselves to one-word responses. Your goal is to get your child to talk at length, so ask questions that will tend to elicit longer, more thoughtful responses.
"What was the most enjoyable part of today's practice/game?"
"What worked well?"
"What didn't turn out so well?"
"What did you learn that can help you in the future?"
Also Ask About Life-Lessons and Character Issues: Even if you saw the entire game, the goal is to get your child to talk about the game the way she saw it, not for you to tell her what she could have done better.
Show You Are Listening: Make it obvious to your child that you are paying attention through use of nonverbal actions.
Let Your Child Set the Terms: If your child wants a brief discussion, defer to his wishes. If he feels like every discussion about sports is going to be long, he'll likely begin to avoid them. Don't be afraid of silence.
Connect Through Activity: Sometimes the best way to spark a conversation is through an activity that your child enjoys. Playing a board game or putting a puzzle together can allow space for a child to volunteer thoughts and feelings about the game and how he performed.
Enjoy: The most important reason why you should listen to your child with a tell-me-more attitude: Because then she will want to talk to you, and as she (and you) get older, you will find there is no greater gift than a child who enjoys conversations with you.
Sunday, May 7
WHY KIDS QUIT PLAYING- The Top 10 Reasons for Dropping Out of Sports
The Top 10 Reasons for Dropping Out of Sports
Though sports like football see tremendous growth each year, kids all across America are quitting sports more than ever before.
Here are the reasons:
BOYS:
I was no longer interested.
It was no longer fun.
The sport took too much time.
The coach played favorites.
The coach was a poor teacher.
I was tired of playing.
There was too much emphasis on winning.
I wanted to participate in other non-sport activities.
I needed more time to study.
There was too much pressure.
GIRLS:
I was no longer interested.
It was no longer fun.
I needed more time to study.
There was too much pressure.
The coach was a poor teacher.
I wanted to participate in other non-sport activities.
The sport took too much time.
The coach played favorites.
I was tired of playing.
Games and practices were scheduled when I could not attend.
Source: Overview of Youth Sports Programs in the United States; Institute for the Study of Youth Sports; Michigan State University.
Sunday, May 7
TALKING TO COACHES- Communicating with your child's coach
The amount of playing time a child receives is often the number one source of tension and conflict between volunteer coaches and parents.
How you -- the parent -- handle the situation will have a significant impact on your level of enjoyment throughout the season, as well as your child's.
The following are some tips to keep in mind before speaking with your child's coach:
Timing is everything - Don't confront the coach unexpectedly in the parking lot after a game. These kind of surprise attacks aren't fair to the coach and generally don't go smoothly anyway. Call the coach ahead of time and arrange to speak with him or her before or after an upcoming practice. Ask what would be the most convenient time to get together and go from there.
Be prepared to listen - If you're not willing to listen to what the coach has to say, then how can you realistically expect the coach to listen to you? If you focus on putting more effort into listening to what the coach is saying rather than trying to get your point across, the coach is going to be a lot more likely to work with you rather than against you.
Don't unload - Parents are often guilty of bombarding coaches with accusations, complaints and other negative comments. No matter how frustrated or upset you are, resist the urge to unload on the coach because it will accomplish absolutely nothing.
Civility rules - You can quickly defuse what oftentimes is a tense situation between coaches and parents when it comes to the issue of playing time by being calm and friendly. Setting a civil tone right from the start is a critical building block for a productive discussion.
Solutions -Accept the fact that there are many ways to solve a problem. Come up with as many options as you can that combine the coach's interests and your own.
Be realistic - Don't approach the meeting with the belief that your child is being deprived of an athletic scholarship or a pro career because they aren't getting to play a certain position. Face the fact that your son is not going to be the next Derek Jeter. If you take the attitude that your son is destined for stardom it will only cripple the discussion.
Know what you're talking about - If you signed your child up for a league that doesn't have a stated policy on playing time, and the coach believes your child isn't as talented as a lot of the other kids, then you're fighting an uphill battle on this one. Always make sure at registration that equal playing time is a clearly stated goal of the program before you and your child get stuck in a program that is going to be demoralizing for the both of you.
What would you do? - Prior to setting up a meeting with the coach, put yourself in his or her shoes. Carefully observe practice sessions and games and ask yourself if you could do a better job delegating playing time. If not, then you may be overreacting. If so, you've probably got a pretty good case and should explain your observations and suggestions to the coach.
Say thank you - Thank the coach for taking the time to speak with you regarding your child. Coaches are typically parents themselves with their own son or daughter on the team. They understand that you want the best for your child, just as they do for theirs. Acknowledge their positive attributes, since many coaches only hear from parents when they're doing something wrong.
As a parent with a child involved in youth sports, you have the right to have a safe and fun experience for your child; to have accurate and comprehensive information about the program; to be part of a quality program; to know about the complaint procedure; and to be protected from revenge if a complaint is filed.
Regardless of the situation, using the techniques described above will improve your chances of having a productive discussion with your child's coach. It's certainly common for differences of opinion to arise from time to time during any youth sports season, but how you go about resolving them in a manner that is beneficial for everyone involved is critical.
Sunday, May 7
8 TIPS FOR KEEPING THE FUN IN FOOTBALL
8 TIPS FOR KEEPING THE FUN IN FOOTBALL
By Amy Zintl
Football builds character. But the lessons about self-esteem, teamwork and dedication are lost if one key factor is missing: FUN!
"The number one reason kids drop out of sports is that it's not fun anymore," says Steven Danish, Ph.D., professor of psychology and director of the Life Skills Center at Virginia Commonwealth University.
"Parents should find out what their child likes about football and do what they can to enhance that aspect of it." Go ahead and ask your kids. You may be surprised by their answers. (Hint: Winning games doesn't rank in the top ten according to one study.)
Here are some tips to help your child keep it fun:
1. Find a fun-minded coach.
"Parents interview babysitters more than they do youth coaches," says Dr. Danish. "You need to learn the coach's philosophy." Seek out coaches who understand that football is just one paver in a child's path to adulthood and not a ticket into the Peewee Hall of Fame. Nothing saps the fun out of playing faster than a coach who is too intense. If the coach reminds you of Bear Bryant in The Junction Boys, volunteer as a parent helper and temper his style. Does the team do the same drills day in and out? Suggest changing things up with ball-handling relay races or a game of ultimate football.
2. Make it a family affair.
Pack up the picnic basket, invite the grandparents and make game days a family outing. Can you think of a better way to spend a fall afternoon than with a tailgating feast and some football?
3. Foster new friendships.
Many kids join a sport because their friends play. But youth programs often draw players from several school districts. There's a good chance that many of your son's teammates are complete strangers. Help him expand his social circle by inviting a new friend over or out for pizza after practice.
4. Accentuate the positive.
As kids get older, feeling like they are good at something plays a big part in making it fun. Even if the team never wins a game and your child never handles the ball, there's plenty to cheer about. Always find something positive about your child's performance in practice and games. Tell him that you saw his key block or that he hustled and played with heart.
5. Downplay the importance of games.
Kids spend a lot more time at practice than they do playing games. If games are all that count, it leaves little opportunity for fun and glory. Point out that each practice is another chance to enjoy himself. My 8-year-old will tell you that he's scored six touchdowns in his two-year "career" (only two were in games). Some of his best tackles occurred during intra-squad scrimmages. Let him take pride in every moment of success no matter where it happens.
6. Use football to bond.
When my son began playing, watching football with daddy suddenly became cool. Now the two of them catch any football they can. They debate play calls and my son knows the names and numbers of virtually every NFL running back, his favorite position.
7. Avoid conflicts.
Disputes with coaches and bickering among parents puts a damper on fun. Don't allow your child to get caught between his coach and his parents. If he's not learning football the way you learned it, it doesn't mean it's wrong. Remind him to respect his coach, and if it bothers you that much, volunteer to coach next year.
8. Watch for warning signs.
Ask your child periodically if he still enjoys playing and watch for signs of waning enthusiasm. Does he complain about going to practice? Is he reluctant to dress for a game? It may be something you can help him correct. Remind him that the choice to play is always his.
Sunday, May 7
BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL- When It Comes to Sportsmanship, Kids Take Their Cue From You
When It Comes to Sportsmanship, Kids Take Their Cue From You
By Amy Zintl
Setting a positive example for your kids while you sit in the stands cheering, is a good way to ensure they will participate in sports for a long time. Here are some tips for acting responsibly as the proud parent of a football player.
"It's not your father's little league," says sports psychologist Darrell Burnett, Ph.D. and author of It's Just A Game! Youth, Sports and Self Esteem: A Guide for Parents.
"Media attention, dreams of fame and fortune, and a win-at-any-cost mentality have raised the stakes so that in America, youth sports is not just a game anymore, and it's way out of control."
Getting so caught up in the action that you overreact to every play or call, harms and embarrasses children. It focuses attention away from them and negates all the good things we hope kids learn from playing-teamwork, effort, problem solving and of course, how to have fun.
Here's how to be a positive role model.
1. Put sports into perspective.
You don't often see emotional behavior at the school play, but when your child sees you irate over a football game, the message is that sports are the be-all and end-all in life. "Don't emphasize the end product-a win, trophy or championship-over the process of playing and having fun," Burnett says. "When there's no place for second place, you get parents and kids who are not satisfied with having a good game."
2. Cheer positively.
It's okay to cheer loudly when your son gains a first down, but when he gets stopped behind the line of scrimmage, don't forget to yell, "Good effort, way to hang onto the ball!" Cheering for all the players reinforces the lessons of teamwork and promotes camaraderie among both players and parents.
3. Can the pre- and post-game lectures.
Don't offer a steady stream of advice, criticism and pep talks. The last thing a kid wants to hear on the way home, or at the dinner table, is what he could have done better during the game. If you also coach your child's team, relinquish your coach title off the field and relish just being a parent.
4. Let the coaches coach; You parent.
Don't shout instructions or point out mistakes from the sidelines. Your child already has his assignment from the coach and is concentrating executing what he's learned in practice. Unauthorized coaching distracts your child and undermines the coach. But a cheery "Let's go Rams!" or "C'mon defense!" before each play is just fine.
5. Respect those in charge.
Publicly disagreeing with an official or coach teaches kids that it's okay to challenge an adult's authority. Officials make bad calls from time to time-they're only human-but right or wrong, kids and parents must yield to them. Let your child hear you say, "I didn't think you were out of bounds either, but that's not the way the ref saw it, and he was a bit closer than I was." Don't criticize coaches in front of your child. You don't have to agree with everything the coach does, but your child must learn to respect him. If you truly have a grievance, speak to the coach privately. Don't confront him in the heat of the moment or immediately after a game.
6. Limit SOS calls.
Is your child sitting on the bench a lot? Does he dream of playing a different position? "Part of our responsibility as parents is to teach our children how to solve problems on their own," says Burnett. "If daddy always comes to the rescue, what does that teach him?" Encourage your child to speak to his coach on his own, but tell him how. Don't complain. Instead, he can ask the coach if he might get more playing time at a different position or what he can do to improve. If your child really has been wronged, speak with the coach but don't get confrontational. Ask, "What can we tell Billy? He's very enthusiastic about football."
7. Stop the trash talking.
Putting down the opponent or flinging accusations of cheating gives kids mixed messages about sportsmanship. We make our kids shake hands after each game and insist sports are for fun, but seeing and hearing you act otherwise confuses them and undermines your credibility.
8. Have fun.
Let your child see you enjoying the game, rather than sitting with a tense scowl on your face and veins popping from your neck. Have a hot dog and a soda, and play the role of proud parent, no matter what occurs on the field.
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