| build a web site| fundraising| community| collect fees online| blogz |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Sports Psychology
Check the Related Web Sites tab for sports psychology issues Helpful Hockey Tips & Drills Check the "Related Web Sites" tab for helpful hockey tips and drills Overemphasis on Travel Hockey Question to Dan Bylsma - NHL Hockey Player - Question #15: My son is playing travel hockey for the first time as a Mite and is coached by my husband. Although it’s early in a 40+ game season, we are beginning to question the time and money being spent as well as the disruption to our family life. In addition, it is hard to sit in the stands and listen to people who are my friends make hurtful, derogatory comments about the team, some of the players and about perceived coaching mistakes. We are a new team and therefore not winning a lot of our games. What is your view on travel hockey at this age? "Anonymous"@yahoo.com. Dan Replies: Dear Anonymous: There is one basic questions embedded in your Email: "Is it travel hockey worth it"? We choose to answer your question by asking you two questions. 1) What is it that you're doing? and 2) What are your family's values? From Jay: I think the answer to the first question is you are teaching your child a game. A game -- as in Monopoly or Chess. By my calculations your child is spending almost 300 hours as a seven year old to learn this game - not to mention more than that being spend by your husband (and you spending at least half that time assuming you don't go to the practices). I venture a guess that's more time than he spends learning how to read or learning math in a year and far more time than is spent in church or religious instruction. As a parent, I would raise the question what kind of a signal that sends to the child about what is important in life. The only, repeat, only reason for involvement in youth athletics is to learn or teach life lessons. The idea that it is a training ground for professional or college athletes is a very bad gamble indeed in as much as only one in 3,333 kids playing youth hockey in the U.S. will play in the NHL. So what life lessons are your lad learning? Lessons that can't be learned in the first 100 hours of playing the sport? Perhaps you can tell that I think for a seven year old to play that much of any sport borders on insanity and I take it a step or two further and ask you to consider whether this much involvement might be counterproductive if not destructive. Because: - The child might become a better-than-average hockey player, but playing all the sports in their season will develop a better athlete and it's typically the better athletes who play at higher levels. - Children who play that many games or more will almost always burn out on the sport. Check the number of kids in your area who play Midgets vs the number playing Mites. - It is almost always true that this level of concentration is the notion of the parent, not the child. No seven or eight year old child conceives of traveling an hour to play a sanctioned game with matching uniforms against kids he doesn't know in an arena he doesn't know exists. "But he wants to play 50 games," is translated by the child as, "I know what my parents' expectations are and how to parrot that". That lasts until the child is old enough to rebel... then all of us parents find out if the child really wants to play 50 games. - No parent would have a seven year old concentrate only on medical courses if he said he wanted to become a doctor. Why do we do that in sports? - If more than 70% of all college students at their age change their major at least once, does a child know at age seven what sport he will be good at or wants to concentrate on in high school or college? - The NCAA rule for college hockey is no more than 34 games per season and no practices prior to one month before the season - this for a fully developed and almost matured college student who must also be about an education. To practice more and play more games at a younger age begs the wisdom of the NCAA. (Which the whole world is perfectly prepared to do, it appears.) - It may be more important for your son to have the best grades on his team than be the best hockey player. Why? More doctors and lawyers will come out of your city's hockey program than NHLers. Exponentially. If your son doesn't believe that, have him count the number of MD's in your city's phone directory and compare that to the number of NHLers that have come out of your city. - I'm not sure I would want my kids to hang around the kids of some of the parents you describe and I am certain I couldn't abide in silence anyone who would demean a coach (paid or volunteer), another's child, the official, or their own child in a children's game. If he steals a car or drives drunk, that’s a different matter, but over a game? For these reasons I didn't allow Dan or any of my children to play travel hockey until they were 14. I am aware mine is not the conventional wisdom and there is only one reason you should pay any heed to my advice as opposed to the legions of my often outspoken detractors... I had three kids play college hockey, the fourth one certainly could have (but chose to study to be a doctor instead) and one of those sons made it to the NHL. Jay From Dan: The other question to ask is, "What are your family's values?". Try to imagine your son at age 25, what would you want him to be like? What do you want him to aspire to? What characteristics would it be important for him to have? Only you can answer those questions, but I suspect I can name some of the characteristics which may come to your mind... he would be well-educated, have moral character and integrity, be well-rounded, thoughtful, loving, caring, perhaps could do something musically, is well-read, articulate, athletic... to mention a few that come to mind for my son. My advice to you is to parent with those goals in mind. If travel hockey assists you in developing your child to meet the aspirations you have for him, do travel hockey. If your goal is to have a son in the NHL, he's probably not playing enough and most likely has the wrong coach (no offense to your husband intended). If playing in the NHL was not one of your aspirations for him, and playing travel hockey is having a detrimental effect on him or your family life... get out of it, or at a minimum, stay coaching him so you can control the environment to be as healthy as possible. My father wouldn't have countenanced the situation you described for a second and I still made it to the NHL in spite of what many would consider a significant handicap (being travel hockey deprived until age 14). Of my teammates on the Kings, I am not aware of anyone who as a Mite played the kind of schedule your son does. Yannic Perrault (now with Toronto) was a baseball phoneme and played in the Little League World Series. We all got serious about hockey at age 15,16 etc, when it was what we wanted to do. Obviously my father and I cannot tell you what to do, but if you parent with your family values in mind, you will recognize and avoid unhealthy situations when they present themselves. And don't worry that you are standing in the way of his making the NHL. The best advice I ever heard (and it is really the basis of our book) is from Sparky Anderson, the former manager of the Cincinnati Reds and the Detroit Tigers. He said, "Your son will make it to the Major Leagues in spite of what you do for him, not because of what you do for him." That is to say, if what it takes to make it isn't in him, you can't put it in him; and conversely, if he has it in him, you won’t be able to stop him. Regarding, abusive or corrosive parents... my father was my coach for most of my youth hockey career and although he never played the game, he was a very good coach (he takes some credit for my success and I allow him his delusion). He always met with the parents before the start of each season and said something like, "You have your child all week. Coach him, practice with him, yell at him, ignore him, or whatever -- all week long... but now you have entrusted him to me for these few hours. I am the only one who coaches him, practices with him, and yells at him during the time he plays for me. I will not tolerate any parent who, within my hearing, berates an official, another player, his own player, or myself. This is a child's game were about and it is incumbent on all of us to set the highest example we can because our children will be learning from us. In your homes you choose whether what they learn is good or bad for them. But when they play for me, I choose that they will learn about the good of us while they are on my team. Also, all of us paid the same amount for our kids to play. So for all but the last five minutes of the game, everyone plays equally. But I am the coach; I pay too. So I get the last five minutes of each game to try to win it. The first 55 minutes belong to the players, the last five belong to me." If we were ahead, the scrubs played the last five minutes. If the game was on the line, the best kids played. He never had any trouble. Value of Rotating Positions Question to Dan Blysma - NHL Hockey Player - Question #48: Dan: At what age or level should kids begin to concentrate on only playing as a defenseman or a forward? I am currently coaching my son's Mini Mite team. Each child gets to play all of the positions on a rotating basis throughout the game. However, even at this age, some of the kids prefer playing defense versus offense and will gravitate toward those positions once the puck is dropped. W.L. Dan Replies: Dear W.L: I firmly believe that at the mini-mite level (6 year olds?) the game should be about learning fundimental skills like skating and about having fun. If a kid wants to play goalie, let him play goalie; if he wants to play forward one week and defense another, let him have his fun. Seriousness invades life too soon, don't let it invade mini-mite hockey. And that goes for older kids too. Larry Robinson's son wanted to be a goalie but because his Hall of Fame father was a defenseman, his coaches made him play defense. As a result, he didn't play goalie, didn't have fun, he grew to resent the game, and dropped out. Then the coach didn't have a defensemen or a goalie. If it isn't fun, when they get old enough to assert themselves, they're gone. I see too much pressure on the part of parents and coaches to the point we are depriving our children of being just that. I'm about ready to say to all the adults when it comes to games, "Drop the puck and leave the building". Having said that, I think it's important for older kids who want to develop to try different positions. It comes under the heading of Learning The Enemy's Tricks as well as becoming a better two-way player. Does a forward know for sure he's never going have to cover the point or be the only player back on a two-on-one-rush? Does a defenseman know he's never going to rush the puck or be called on to take a penalty shot? So playing or at least practicing the other positions is recommended. If the team is doing one-on-one drills, step in and play the other side of the puck - often. As to when should a child concentrate on one position? When he feels like it... and give him the freedom to change his mind. |
|
|||||||
|
|
Scarsdale Youth Hockey Association |
|
|||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||
|
|||||||||||
