Redruth United Football Club: Club Rules

Friday, June 30
The Ten Commandments of Redruth United
1 Thou shalt not forget to bring thy subs each week or thou wilt be cast out into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights (or at least until the following game)


2 Thou shalt wash thine own kit every week, and clean even the hardest of stains


3 Thou shalt never question the boss, for he is all knowing, and his big football folder never lies


4 Thou shalt always go to the pub for at least one drink after the game, even if thine woman is a battleaxe & will beat thee for being late and smelling of the bad drink


5 Thou shalt be godly and respectful towards thine teammates and thine opponents and especially the all powerful man in black, lest ye shall besmirch the reputation of the club


6 Thou shalt endeavour to attend all functions organised by the club, be it pig-roasting or virgin-debudding or beer-quaffing or village-pillaging for it is all in the name of   team spirit


7 Thou shalt always turn up to training even if thy hast had a bad day sowing in the fields or fishing in the sea or making pots in the pottery for if thee do not train, thou wilt surely have the biggest belly in the land


8 Thou shalt truly do thy best for thine club or thalt wilt be booted out on thine rump for thine apathy


9 Thou shalt encourage and not utter curses against thine fellow teammates even if they hast cocked up big time (boyakasha)


10 Thou shalt reread these rules and if thou doubtest any, repeat the following 5 times I am a stupid head


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