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  Our Season  
 

Tuesday, January 15
NESC CLINCHES 6th PLACE TITLE, NO LIFT HOME FOR SKI CLUB
The Dancing Fool

Okay, I’m vaguely aware that there were points scored. I remember Andy and Chris actually scoring, and there were these assists to Richie and Sirk in there as well. This is really poor sports reporting. The absolute worst – okay, maybe not the worst, as a certain Hunter S. Thompson once on his way to cover a small motorcycle race in a small Nevada town found himself embroiled in a plot of acid, cheap booze, ether and underage girls. I don’t think that I ever went that far…at least that I recall.   This was your captain’s last turn at bat, and we won! We took 6th place! It was amazing! But I digress, as those statements might not be interpreted as actual reporting. Well, reporting would involve a collection of facts and figures about a specific event. You know, I know there were people. I know that there was a soccer field, and I know that there was a score that ended in the NESC favor. I would add controversy to this article if it would help, but sadly there was no nudity at this game.   I tell ya all what, check the final article in this list – it is a list of fun memories from this session – much better than anything I could come up with in this complete non-article. Oh, and for those of you that wonder: My favorite part? Getting to know old friends better, finding a hangout that gives us free beer and money, and knowing that I made some new friends this session!


Monday, January 14
NESC SAYS TO TEAM NAME HERE, “WE WON’T CALL YOU WINNER!"
Soccer Ball (bouncing)

In a stunning second victory for the NESC Roosters, much joy and happiness combined with the ongoing team effort brought the final score to a squeaky 8-7 in the final minute of the game. The Team Name Here purple pride perhaps pondering a 2nd win against the NESC Roosters was sadly mistaken. Even the humanitarian act of offering the NESC’s Rostered Sub, “Waldo” as an additional player to Team Name Here was no help (despite his 3 points scored for that team). Our own Sirk attempted to redeem himself by giving lukewarm thanks to the Lord and his Mother for his 3 goals and assists on 3 additional goals worth 4 points, but this reporter expects that the wrath of one to come down on him something fierce. (See if your mother lets you play her son when she gets that Chunky Soup Endorsement, Sirk.) Goals assisted by Sirk included an amazing 2 pointer by our own Richie “don’t call them porn shorts if you don’t want to see some ass” Kingston; an always agile point offered up by our own Chris and the “I’m-on-a-scoring-streak-now” point delivered by Keith. Our own Andy Zartman, making a pre-winter appearance proved himself worthy by scoring one point unassisted!


Sunday, January 13
ROWDIES RUN ROOSTERS RAGGED 10-4

An NESC Rooster’s loss that I have absolutely no recollection of...perhaps this is the moment that everyone can look to and say, “hey that’s when Steph’s Alzheimer’s kicked in.”


Monday, December 17
NESC SWOOSHES A VICTORY AGAINST THE COLUMBUS SKI CLUB
adidas soccer ball

With no major trees in site, the NESC glided to their first-ever victory against the Columbus Ski Club. Sirk, ever humble, ended his scoring drought by being involved in every goal the NESC scored either as the scorer or an assister. (Beware, though, as Sirk has failed to meet his athletic duties by thanking either the Lord or his Mother in his usual Monday e-mail reply.) Sirk assisted on goals to Chris (for 2 points), Richie and Keith. It should be noted at this time that this was KCBUS's FIRST EVER INDOOR POINT! Sirk later scored a 2 pointer (assist to Richie) and then tapped in 2 more goals with assists to Chris and Rich. This game also saw an incrediby tough NESC defense and offence that was working together! A thoroughly fun time was had by all for 3 well-earned points!


Monday, December 10
NESC vs. CRUCIFIERS 2 FAILS TO SEE RESURRECTION

The second match-up between the NESC Roosters and Crucifiers 2 team failed to clench anything resembling a victory. Highlights did include a very confused Crucifiers 2 team that expected a much easier victory (thank you to Jay and Chris for serving as ringers) and Drew "Butters" Johnson's 15-seconds-out-of-the-box score (with his feet!)!


Tuesday, November 27
CRUCIFIERS I NAILS NESC ROOSTERS TEAM 15-7
Chicken Laying Egg

The good news: Crucifiers I was not named that just to scare opponents. The bad news: when they said “church team,” it did not involve taking it easy on the NESC Team for a single minute of the game! At 7:30 in the morning, we all arrived for the one early morning game of the reason. Much adversity was overcome: an OSU game/tailgate the evening before, the general hour of the morning, and the lack of a cheering section. We were also pleased to see the Indoor Debut of Tony Contakis on the NESC Roosters team! Our big goal of the game was even scored by Tony – if it weren’t for that goal (and his rooster celebration after scoring it), we might not have the confidence to score as many goals as we did that morning!

You know, I’m not 100% clear on who scored the rest of the goals. I believe the combination of the early morning, being too excited that Tony was playing with us again and dreaming about Chocolate Chip pancakes took over much of our memories. Rich Fidler pulled an amazing double penalty (he’s promised not to do that again, as it jeopardizes your author’s own “most penalty minutes served” record from hockey). Rich later tried to earn himself a best actor award by going over the wall on a light touch – the referee was not amused! Your author did develop her own “Jedi Mind Trip” technique that simply involved falling over herself and wishing that it would happen to an opposing player – which it did!

The halftime speech was not exactly one for the record books – did anyone know that I could curse that much that early in the morning? In the future, I will refrain from such an awful proliferation of profanity! Special thanks to Richie and Chris for both being on top of the smooth Keeper switch at the half – and to Drew “Butters” Johnson, who ran for the rest of the game as a forward!

Looking forward to next week where the promise of an afternoon game, free beer, and knowing what we’re up against will help us in our quest for victory. Maybe “Waldo” will stop by…


Wednesday, November 14
ROOSTERS GO DOWN TO ADVOCATES FOR KIDS 12-9 (We Think)
Spinning Whistle

Taking the field last Sunday, things looked good for the Roosters, who were playing Advocates for Kids. The general consensus was that these were kind, caring individuals who were into lofty things like helping underprivileged kids and junk. You know, cream puffs. Turns out that these cream puffs had a lot of pent up aggression just dying to get out! In the NESC Rooster’s most aggressive game to date, Stephanie took her title as coach seriously – she had a mid-game discussion with the referee about a player that was mysteriously involved in nearly every take-down, fall or stumble that occurred on the NESC side. “I was like Donovan,” was how Chris described his all-too-familiar game take-downs. At one point, Rich Fidler pulled a blue card when he offered our referee his own glasses through which to watch the game. In the end, the ref prevailed and gave the Advocates 2 minutes for roughing. Yours truly, felt that she had one of the plays of the game when she prevented the Advocates keeper from returning to the box – the price of running 10 yards behind the center line in an attempt to show off (it’s not obstructing if you don’t get the call!)

Goal Highlights: Our Own Richie “Barry Bonds on Viagra,” scored 5 goals (well, one was a 2 pointer), easily earning bragging rights to our near-double-digit score last Sunday. Sirk “Elmer Fudd with Two Popsicle Sticks and Some Tape” was on his heels with 2 goals. Once again Rich Fidler and Chris answered with two goals a piece. Assists went to Rich, Richie, Sirk and even Drew (and even though it doesn’t really count as an assist, the one Chris got happened when there was no goalie near the box thanks to Stephanie).

We think that the Advocates for kids scored 12 goals, or 14, or 11...maybe 10 - who knows?

Tune in next week when the NESC Roosters take on the Crucifiers I at 7:30 in the morning!


Monday, November 5
CLASH OF THE COLORS RESULTS IN 11-6 LOSS FOR NESC

It was a well-fought match Sunday against Team Name Here for the NESC Rooster’s squad. Relieved at first to see that their team shirts were purple, which meant that the NESC squad would hang on to their beloved gold jerseys, it should have been immediately noted that these were colors that simply clashed. Only during Mardi Gras does one find the exact balance of drunkeness and nudity for the sake of plastic beads that prevents one from saying, “hey who the heck would purple and yellow together?” But I digress…

The NESC took an early lead in the game, and maintained a scoring presence throughout. The game was rough at times, with several individuals hearing “watch yourself gold” or “watch yourself purple” for perfectly innocent activities! It was later revealed that our referee was once ejected from the North End at a Crew game for being too drunk (anyone want to do the math on that one?), so that explains a lot.

Once again, a game of may firsts. Drew took to the box after a solid practice prior to the game. He stood tall and confident, making several difficult saves. By the end of the season, this reporter expects him to be a serious powerhouse in goal. Under the direction of Richie, the NESC started a 1-1-3 lineup, which was beginning to take hold by the end of the game – watch out next week! And for the first of all firsts – our own Ben “Wookie” Crispin scored his first goal EVER as an NESC player!

In other scoring highlights, Rich Fidler scored 2 goals, with Richie, Sirk, Chris and Ben all scoring one goal a piece. Assists went to Chris, Richie and Kieth (his first indoor point!). It was an 11-6 chalk victory for Team Name Here, but the winning all went to the NESC with their faithful cheering section in tow (including songs!) and getting 2 more people to play the cracker game at Roosters afterwards!

Stay tuned for next week’s game against Advocates For Kids!


Wednesday, October 31
NESC vs. ROWDIES – INDOOR GAME HAS MANY FIRSTS
NESC Rooster with Sportsite

On October 28th, 2001 at 2:50 in the afternoon, the NESC indoor team took to Field #1 at Sports Site to take on the Rowdies. We played with Mike Harris for the first time, Tim “Tim-May” Morgan suited up for the first time, as did Lindsay Miller, and Drew Johnson stepped into goal with gloves. We were ready to play!

The game got off to a fantastic start, with the NESC scoring quickly with Chris’s fast foot. The Rowdies first goal will forever remain the cheap goal, as the NESC failed to make what one would call a “smooth line change.” The Rowdies took advantage of the situation, and scored with only 3 NESC players on the field ready for action. We quickly recovered (the author would like to take this time to apologize to Steve Sirk and state for the public record that she does not consider his posterior to be at all fat).

Steve Sirk and Chris remained the scoring machine for the NESC, with Chris scoring a total of 3 goals (one assist from Christine!) and Sirk scoring two. Unfortunately, the Rowdies ended up getting the better of the NESC, meeting each of our scores, and answering one at the end with a two-pointer. In the end, a 9-5 loss for the NESC.

Still, the NESC had the largest cheering section in the entire complex thanks to a few friends! We also got to see the 10-year-old girls score on the 10-year-old boys on the way out! As always, a good time was had by all at Rooster’s, our new home away from home. Trisha and Stephanie also announced the formulation of New Year’s plans…

Next Week: NESC takes on Team Name Here…stay tuned!


Tuesday, January 15
MEMORIES

Please, don't hum the song!

Keith Colette...

My favorite moment had to be wiping Waldo out and injuring myself. The only reason I liked it was because somehow he got called for the foul. (Tee-hee!)

Oh, and there was that great tic-tac passing that led to that goal during that 8-1 game. That was just sweet to watch.

It's great to think that a love of soccer -- something that simple -- got you/me/us together to form this group, and that it's gone way beyond soccer.

I love you guys!!!

Chris McLaughlin...

Richie wore porn shorts to play in
While Christine got knocked down for lickin'
Sirk loved my green socks
I took some hard knocks
And it's only our first indoor season

Christine Lombardo...

"Eww, I was licked!!!"


Tony Contakis...

The one important thing that I recall the most is, that despite the fact that I "retired" from active playing, I have been welcome on the sideline by the rest of the group and still made to feel like part of the team (even when I say or do something stupid - which is quite often). That means a lot to me.

I think what might be the most "heart-warming" part is the fact that so many good friendships have seemingly developed as a result of our little soccer group. In fact, our group has grown. Look at the number of recent pictures in our Photo Album. Go to Rooster's after a match and see how many people are enjoying themselves. Remember all of the parties and get-togethers we have had away from the field. This just isn't a soccer team anymore. It truly has become a social club, one that I am proud to be a part of and to have history with.

I consider all of you wonderful individuals - each of you has taught me something new about myself. Because of you, I want to be a better person - a better husband, a better father, a better friend. And boy, do I have a lot of work to do!

Andy Zartman...

Our fantastic group is so supportive both on and off the field. No one gets on your case when you screw up and is right there to help you up and dust off when you fall. And of course everyone is there to celebrate when you succeed. The lack of those things is what prompted me to leave soccer when I was young. I see the lack of those things in some of the teams we play, no team spirit, and it makes me sad for them. They obviously don't know what they're missing. Soccer can actually be fun!

I appreciate how you all made Janice feel so welcome. That meant a lot to both of us. The downside to that is that now that she's gone you'll have to see a lot more of just me!

Carrie Zartman...

As for my favorite memory about this indoor season. Well....Just getting to play indoor when I thought I wouldn't be able to made my winter. The last game was definitely an awesome one!! It was so competitive, fast paced, and we really seemed to be evenly matched with that team. Getting to see my big brother more often is a plus too!! Over the past couple years, Andy has encouraged me to get back into the soccer thing. Now, I'm so glad I did!! You guys are a great bunch of people, and you've really made my brother happy. At first when I started playing, I didn't know anyone and I really considered all of you my brother's friends rather than mine. You guys really welcomed me into the group, I'm so grateful. Anyway, my best off-the-field memory was the New Year's celebration for many reasons. Thanks to Steph and her near fight, and also her big mouth....Thank's a lot

Rich Fidler...

Early Sunday morning? And what was the penalty for? I think dissent, but heck, that is just a guess...I mean I never argue with the ref.

Then instead of using the door, I mean they don't call me "Luke" Duke (of Dukes of Hazard fame) for nothing, I decided to skip the door and jump in to the penalty box...as I approach the boards to get in, I hear a sound that I think told me I would get another 2 minutes for jumping the boards...

Whoops. 2 more minutes.

So a nice 4 minute penalty.

But the best was yet to come. I really enjoyed when I got back in the game and tried to do my best acting job (I am hoping to beat out Russell Crowe this year for the Oscar!) by jumping in to the boards when I was hardly touched by an opposing player, surprisingly there was not a foul called...

Anyway, that would be my favorite memory...and all this happened before 8AM in the morning!

Steve Sirk...

The thing I will remember most about this past NESC indoor season is all of the football games I had to forsake in order to play soccer with this motley assortment of buffoons. For the love of God...the Browns were playing the loathesome Stoolers, a team whose fanbase consists of hubcap-collecting cock-gumming neanderthals, and yet instead of rooting in vain for the Forces of Good to defeat the Squealer Menace, I somehow found myself, like, getting exercise and stuff. Unconscionable!

(Note to Jamie-- If you use this as an opportunity to provide an unsolicited testimonial as to the wonders of TIVO, I will amputate your nipples and force-feed them to you with a side of yellow snow.)

But seriously...I had a great time this session. I'm not sure which was the bigger accomplishment:

A.) Winning three games.
B.) Convincing Andy we don't laugh behind his back at how bad he sucks. That "help you up and dust you off" crapola must have been pretty convincing. Naivete, thy name is Z-Man.

Okay, SERIOUSLY seriously....it's been a blast and I'm looking forward to next session. And I cannot emphasize this last point enough:

Richie-- Always bring an extra pair of shorts. Kee-rist....I'm still having nightmares.


Andy V-Ball...

I would just like to add that I did enjoy playing with everyone this past year. I hope to be able to play with the team next year as your goalkeeper, or if not, maybe in some other position.


   
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