The 2000 edition of the Houston Mudcats had its share of highlights: Spring & Summer League Championships, a second consecutive Texas Cup Championship, as well as a share of the World Series Championship. However not all that glittered was gold in 2000.....lets take a look back on some memorable lowlights.... Coaching plays a vital role in every team's success and on the Mudcats, a number of individuals stepped to the front with suggestions that have played key parts to our 2000 success: The catcher's positions is frequently seen as the center of all the action and in fact many major league managers were once Catchers. He is involved in every play and therefor a heady catcher goes along way towards a good defensive ball club...( I guess this follows latest Astros logic). Anyway, during the 2000 World Series there was more than the usual amount of ground balls hit between third and short...was it luck?....Motty thought not...first he calmly asks JD "are you not seeing the ball today?"....this lights a fire under our volatile SS but he gains control just in time to reply that he is seeing the ball just fine. Bewildered, Motty concludes that it must be poor positioning....if they are going to hit it over there, then play over there he thought.....Therefor a 12 foot "X" is drawn on the field where JD should play.....JD goes to the X each inning in an attempt to show what a futile idea this is and proceeds to get the next 200 balls hit to him. Motty's genius move was later celebrated and the "X" is now a Mudcat mainstay. Knowing how to get the most from your players, even when they think they've given all they can is the sign of great future coach. Without a doubt Jay has been the most over used pitcher in Mudcat history. The 2000 Texas Cup was no exception, when he was once again called upon to throw back to back games in the balmy 115F temperatures of San Antonio. Sensing the importance of the upcoming game, JD steps to the forefront and notices that Jay is somewhat spent and perhaps not as intense as he might need to be. After all, the next game pitted the Mudcats against a seasoned team of ex-minor leaguers from Dallas, with the winner sure to advance to the championship game the following day. JD, being the team leader that he is, recognized that the situation called for desperate measures. He knew from the immortal words of Vince Lombardi that "Fatigue makes Cowards of us all" and he was not about to let us settle for elimination. Therefor, he throws judgement and caution to the wind, opting out of a traditional pre-game rah-rah speech, and masterfully orchestrates a personal attack against Jay in an attempt to tap into the remaining reserves of energy and strength that lies deep within our pitcher. The plan works, as sparks fly and finally escalates until both players have to become separated just seconds before taking the field and uttering....."I'LL F@*KING KILL YOU!!!". 5 innings later, Jay has completely blanked the opposition and his inspired teammates have unleashed an offensive barrage putting the game out of reach. As Jay is relieved late in the game, so we can use him the next day no doubt, his body slowly begins to shut down, his temperature raises and finally, every organ in the poor lad's body cramps involuntarily. The result is a writhing mass of humanity... screaming, pleading and begging for help just outside the dugout. The Mudcats rally around their fallen hero, with such encouragement as "Get him a Beer"..."Yes I know his cramping...but did you just see my opposite field HR"...."Anyone got an anti-inflammatory" and finally..."Does he have insurance, call him an Ambulance". As the moments waiting for the ambulance ticked by, Jay was stretched, twisted and contorted in manners that made women blush and men take out there notepads. Finally, professional help arrived in the form of a 600 pound paramedic. He parks, puts down his chicken wings, wipes his face and departs from the vehicle. 2 seconds out of the air conditioned ambulance and the paramedic is completely saturated in sweat. Jay is loaded into the back and hooked up to an IV as his caretaker orders an extra cheese, double meet Pizza delivered to the parking lot......"We're going to be here a while" he says. With that, the Mudcats leave Jay in the ambulance and race off to the closest Circle K. 5 bags of IV fluid later....Jay is released to the custody of his significant other who promptly rushes him back to the hotel for a 12 pack. Some may have questioned JD's methods on that day....but no one could argue with the results. Sometimes coaching comes from the most unexpected places...The fans!! During an 8 am game in the 2000 World Series, while playing California, who can not admit to having been inspired by the dramatic call to arms being laid on the 'Cats by Mr. Dusek. Granted the 'Cats weren't losing the game, however Mr. D hadn't driven 3000 miles in a Winebago with his wife and other retired family members in tow, to watch us play anything less than our best baseball. I know for years at 'Cats games there has been attempts to watch our mouths around our most loyal and senior supporter...however the verbiage than spewed out that morning was enough to take the sleep out of our eyes and inspire us to give them their money's worth. His brand of Tough Love has been just what the doctored ordered on several occasions. And those hugs that he gives us after big wins...Texas Cup Championship, Final 6-0 game in at Papagallo...they really make you feel like you've accomplished something special. Occasional it takes a Mudcat mutiny to bring out the best in Mudcat baseball. CJ is the coach and he learned this lesson well while under the tutelage of former Coach Jim Woods. After the 'Cats only loss in AZ he boldly and calculatedly yells out that "you guys are a bunch of pu$$ies". As those that are around baseball know...sometimes you play as hard as you can, you give your all, but you just can't put together the win....that was the general feeling after this loss amongst the guys...they didn't kick our a$$...they weren't superior to us...we just lost a game...we'll get the next one. But coach wasn't go to let us settle for this passivist approach. He called us out in front of the other team, the fans and it really got under the skins of alot of players.....ok everyone but his brother who knew better. The drive back to the hotel had more guys thinking about how to overthrow the coach, start their own team or just get on the plane and fly home and forget the rest of the tourney, than it did mentally preparing for the next game. The distraction proved to be a stroke of genius. It was one of the most brilliant and unselfish decisions in Cat history. Coach successfully risked the long standing confidence and friendships that he had established over the years, and in the pursuit of the ultimate Victory he turned the entire team against him with the hope that his statement would force them to come together, to talk among themselves, and to become a common unit (even if it was against him), which up until that time it must have been lacking and thus causing the 'Cats to lose a game once every 11 games. The plan worked and the Mudcats rolled on to win out the rest of the tourney. 2000 was a reminder that some deeds don't go unpunished.....4 years ago, a beautiful dove landed in front of the Mudcat dugout during a World Series game in Tempe and someone from our team, (who shall remain nameless), made an innocent attempt to literally kick it out of the stadium....luckily he missed, but that didn't stop the crowd of 20 from booing, our karma turned bad and the Mudcats got beat 15-2. Fast forward to 2000....The Mudcats are riding the largest wave of momentum going into the championship round when the tournament format forces them back to the grounds of the 1997 dove incident. No one surely could forecast what would happen next......the minute the 'Cats pull up to the complex....the sky blackens and the heavens open up with an outpouring of rain that would rewrite the Arizona almanacs. The remainder of the tourney is cancelled and the 'Cats are awarded a consolatory Co-Championship. For 2001, in an attempt to right previous wrongs and break free of the "Curse of the Dove", the 'Cats will be releasing 100 White Doves on opening day as a sign of good will. Each year the most celebrated event of the World Series in Phoenix is without a doubt the delicious bar-b-que dinner followed by the Home Run Derby. I can guarantee that more Creatine is sold during the year in preparation for this event than for any other. The Mudcats have never fared well in this competition and 2000 proved to be no different. The 2 Mudcats entries for 2000 were unusual to say the least....one was the leadoff hitter for the 'Cats for the past 8 years (granted he may have been leading off but he never bunted or walked once, his goal was to lead off with a bomb).....the other....a 24 yr. old kid who will most likely be the leadoff man of the future. Ordinarily these competitions are made up of 3 or 4 hole hitters....big fellas weighing in a 250 plus......but that left our featherweight entries undaunted. Sign ups were around 8pm and by 2 am the competition was finally getting started. The wait was undoubtedly taking a toil on the 2 gladiators and finally RJ grew weary and with the 'Cats having an 8 am game the next morning, he went and negotiated the first spots in the competition for himself and Bubba. Actually he demanded the 5 bucks back but if you think this league will ever "give back" money you are wrong and so they bumped them to the front. Unbeknownst to most bystanders, RJ and Bubba had Billy Chapel throwing BP to them (For Love of the Game Reference).....yes the guy was old, his arm shot, he seemed harmless, he could throw strikes and he was a teammate who was guaranteed a share of the winnings if he would throw. But on that warm, breezy night in Tempe, Arizona.....as SD took the mound at a standing room capacity Tempe Diablo Stadium, under the lights of the field, the smell of the freshly manicured grass, the familiar feel of the ball, it all brought him back in time...and for a moment...all eyes were on him....and the reality of the situation was clouded by memories of games gone by and glories long forgotten...SD began his deliveries and with each painfree pitch, the velocity grew harder, the movement sharper and the control... pinpoint. It was if the he could hear the crowd cheering with each miss.....and when the final ball was thrown and it breezed by the bat for the final out...there was a rush of exhilaration.....for that brief moment in time...the game was his and he had thrown the Perfect Game...It was a long ride back to the hotel that night for SD....the reality of what had actually taken place was a hard pill to swallow....the hurt and the disappointment in his teammate's faces, the harshness of their words in the car on the way home...after all it was supposed to be their moment to shine.....however fate sometimes deals from the bottom of the deck....and on this night SD found consolation in the warm satisfaction of a dream realized. CRIME STOPPERS The year 2000 saw Mudcats turn away from social events centered around telling lies, drinking beer, and executing perfect keg stands. As if these weren't fun enough...Gambling was introduced. Money is an extremely volatile subject on the 'Cats stemming from late league fees, to not paying for jerseys, to stiffing for umpires and so on...combined with the fact that Chapter 11 is becoming an all too familiar addition to the 'Cat vocabulary. Anyway, so poker parties are introduced and the trouble begins...First the guys get a table and then the ladies start to feel left out so they get their own. So now most of the guys are losing cash on 2 tables with their women borrowing to cover their losses. Then pots start mysteriously vanishing...how?...who knows...however fingers got pointed, accusations made, and backroom theories developed. In fact the Mudcats had more money get "lost" in 2000 than they paid in leagues dues. On a separate front...or not...depending on which theories you by into....newest Cat....Stoney was able to shatter the former record of Arrests in a single season in 2000. Sure we still had or regulars make their "one phone call" from the County lockup to the Mudcat Hotline or even better one incident where a 'Cat was able to get his call in from the back of an HPD vehicle.....However those accomplishments are paled in comparison to Stoney's Big Adventures. In fact, every game is an adventure for this boy. DWI's, outstanding warrants, assaults, confrontations with Police, nights spent in crack houses sleeping with his bat while a woman screams for Tyrone beats on his door all night....all from one of the most soft spoken fellas you ever met. As soon as he makes the FBI's top 10 list the team has decided to call 713-222-TIPS and turn him in for the $2500 which we'll use on either new jerseys or to pay the league fees....or maybe we'll lose it. INJURIES... The 'Cats didn't escape the injury bug in 2000. The season started on an ominous note when RJ lasted 3 pitches of the first game of the year before blowing his shoulder out. JD was diagnosed with needing Tommy John surgery, and then rediagnosed with needing to drink a gallon of water an hour, and then rediagnosed with needing to workout, and we suspect this year he'll try Aroma Therapy. JJ's ankle blew out and he used that to gain an awful lot of sympathy from his significant other but none from the team. SD's weak kneed approach didn't win any points with the team or at home (where retirement is being pushed). A cheap shot sent CJ home with a 45 degree knuckle arrangement, "the Rock" lost the fingernails on his throwing hand from a foul ball and Bubba got mono from some young thing at SHSU. But the winner of the 2000 Mudcat HMO award goes to Stoney. When this guy wasn't incarcerated....he was in the hospital.....he blew out his shoulder.....got run over by a forklift...hit in the head....twisted his ankle....and finally injured in a hunting accident that prevented him from participating in the World Series. Better luck in 2001. FAN FRIENDLY RJ was given the 2000 Albert Belle award as the most fan friendly Mudcat. RJ prides himself on his engagements with fans and if you've missed his two-handed middle finger salute you really are missing out on a thing of beauty. Part of his sensitive nature stems from his 133 IQ (33 points above avg. he'll tell you) and his way above average hearing. This guy can hear his name mentioned by a fan in the next county....inconspicuous is not his middle name...and once you cross the line with RJ....he'll never let you forgot it. SD caused a minor commotion in a NEAR accident when he almost ran over 4 of the girls while trying to flee from a "group picture". The scene pitted 4 temperamental Mudcats, parked outside the field in the blazer, pondering the end of the year as the rain fell harder and harder, the tourney championship that they had worked so hard for about to be rained out....and some drunk fans want to take pictures. SD was in no mood for smiley faces and made a break....luckily injuring no one but being barred from all future parties at Ants. And finally...the most lasting fan encounter happened once again in Phoenix. While RJ, SD, JD, & BB are cruising Indian School Road, in heavy traffic, deciding on where to eat and surveying the then sunny AZ landscape...2 Indian boys in a pickup drive up and challenge the Mudcats to get out....Being the civic minded citizens that they were....they ignored the challenge and tried to chalk the whole thing up to penis envy.....but the pair wouldn't give up....and insisted on following the 'Cats all over Phoenix. Finally enough was enough....RJ & JD were screaming like a wild men, bats were being unloaded from the bat bags and pulse rates were going through the roof. The had to have a gun or were just plain stupid to keep this up. Finally the cats pull over and prepare for the worst.....their challengers kept on going. 5 minutes later 'Cats arrive at FuddRuckers and they get some smart ass high school punk taking their order.....RJ feels the dude is eye balling him and just about pulls him over the counter. No doubt we got spit in those burgers.

Moments in Mudcat history: 1. Curtis kicking at a dove (International symbol of Peace) and turning the Arizona crowd against us, bringing on very bad Karma and leading to yet another Ass kicking in a championship game. 2. John Arriaga overstriding for third and being hit in the hammy by a sniper with what must have been a high powered elephant gun and then flopping on the ground like a half dead fish out of water, only inches away from the base and yet so far. 3. On the homerun by Keith in the Dallas Tourney, did anyone see that whelp that developed on Jay's forehead after the ball cleared the wall and in what can only be explained as pure excitement, Jay was unable to contain himself and threw the cup that he was drinking out of against the wall, only to have it rebound off his face and shatter in a thousand pieces. 4. Lets not forget the fight between Christian Slater's twin brother and some 16 year old off of the RoughRiders with his pregnant wife watching in horror. Luckly that face didn't get damage but the elbow was. However it kept that good hitting outfielder from ever playing in our league again. IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM....BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THEM AND FORCE THEM OUT OF THE LEAGUE. 5. All of Rob Jones' performances with his mother in the stands are worth noting. Unfortunately I think we have seen the last of Momma Jones supporting our team. Especially since #06 told her to "never come to another game again". Happy mother's day Mom, I love you....now stop coming to my f#%king games. 6. Every Mudcat party which turns into a "fill your cup with beer and throw it at each other party". Now I know why these things are never inside. 7. Jay Johnson - MVP of the Texas Cup? (ok I am jealous after that magazine coverage). 8. Nothing overloads the circuits to the mudcat hotline like a hidden recorder. 9. Dave Williams self defacing wit....."somewhere there is a lonely village" 10. The hit and run accident that cost us Scott Vacek. How is it that thing didn't become more of a problem than it did. I mean usually when you cause an accident and the flee the scene....then get run down at the next stop light by the guy and tell him it was his fault while giving him the finger and cussing at him. No police, no reprocussions.....nothing. Unbelievable. More Mudcat high/low lights.... 1. #25 laying in the batter's box at ASU, trying to hold back the tears and then being carried off the field of battle to sit on the bench. 20 minutes later paramedics arrive to try to take him in but he stay and persuades camera lady to make an entire collage of photos with just me in them. Unfortunately none were ever purchased...but she was there the next day for the one legged Grand Slam that made Coach Woods believe in miracles and the healing powers of his "little brown bottle of pills". 2. Same game....just moments before the tragic accident which would cost Mudcats the title ....in a show of team unity, togetherness and an appreciation of the sciences, #25 and #17(that year) get in a friendly discussion on the aerodynamics of precast plastic helmets and the torsionary forces required to cause stress cracking. Unfortunately, the 2 would be scientists had to agree to disagree. Next year #25 shows up with his own helmets which he will conduct his own private research on......the next year #21 starts using #25's helmets and subjecting them to severe blows to the head thus demonstrating their impact resistance and protective properties. Later while trying to conduct a blind and unbiased bat to helmet test, #21 comes close to killing Christian Slater. 3. Special award to our centerfielder Marcus Welby for his practical medical diagnosis of a speed junky while others had obviously mislabeled the Mesa Astros shortstop with Turrets syndrome. Who could forget the ever so clever commentary of ..."Hey asshole are you on F@#king speed or what". It has come to my attention that Coach Woods a.k.a. "Dr. Feelgood" is no loner affiliated with our fine league.....Marlboro would like to thank him for his years of support and patronage. As a tribute to the coaching savvy of this great man....the following is a selection of his finest moments.... 1. Who can admit to not being inspired by a man who has never seen you before but can motivate you to play better than you ever had with such encouragement like "You suck"...."Oh shit you suck".....and "You guys are horrible". Actually its a tough transition at first...most of us coming from such coddled programs where they said things like ...."your great" ..."your the man"...."way to go".....but it takes a special man to strip you down your core, expose your weaknesses and build you back in his image to be a competing machine. 2. STAMINA = 86, 347 cigarettes smoked during Mudcat games......one heartattack.....damn good percentages. 3. The special gleam in his eyes when we won.....the distance in his face when we got down by 1 run in the first inning. As winners we became Jim Wood's mudcats....as losers we were Curtis Johnson's mudcats. We played so hard just to win the approval and acceptance of our coach. It fueled our thirst for winning. Brilliant. 4. Always knowing when to push the panic button........when in doubt.....hold that thing down all game long. 5. Coaching motto...."When in doubt...cuss...it makes you look like your mad and people will figure you really did have a plan for the team". 6. If it ain't broken.....take an anti-inflammatory.....if it is....take a bunch. How about these gruesome reminders of injuries past: 1. Welcome back Chris Cox. That shot he took on his first game out last year was not very polite. That sucker swelled up faster, uglier and bluer than any none broken bone injury I have ever seen. 2. The line drive that went off the head of Jay while he was pitching. Before that he was pitching a "so-so" game (typical), after the line drive to the beaner, dude started to really pitch. (Not quite sure what that means) 3. The near amputation of Rob's hand after making an out in the championship game in AZ. As 06 returned to the dugout, the team braced itself for the iminent implosion, and all of sudden there was a punch to the chain link fence, which trapped his hand behind the pole, followed simultaneously by a slip of the metal spikes on the concrete flooring (by now saturated with spit), thereby throwing 06 off balance and doing its best to remove the hand from the wrist. 4. Who will ever forget the broken arm suffered by that pitcher on the first or second batter of the game. Certainly not Jarrod who almost tossed his lunch. The sound of that arm popping in half can only be compared to a Curtis Johnson bat slap to the head. 5. Scott's blown out knee wasn't that gruesome...in fact most thought he was laying on the ground crying cuz he hit a foul ball and he was already 0-2 that day. Actually I think it wasn't a result of trying to generate tremendous bat speed but moreover a sign that said "hey fat ass your thin ass bones weren't meant to handle this new gut". In a show of undying dedication to the team....SD has blossomed up to 215. I think GNC scale said I should be 180. I can't think of any other major ones besides John's but I mentioned that already......ok I guess it bares repeating. 6. John Arriaga, in the middle of one of the most incredible string of power hitting displays ever seen (and yes damn it, I mean ever....you got one better...name it...Jackson 1977 world series...No way this streak he had going was more than a few games). Anyway.... the hammy shreds hurling this mass of Power Fuel and Creatine tumbling to the dirt faster than Rob Jones' hat after an infield error. Then the real tragedy insues......the agony of the mind fighting the body over what to do next.....the mind urging the arm to reach for the base....the body begging to be cradled.....the result was a twitching, flopping and final resignation that all was lost. It was ugly. Other Honorable Mentions.... 1. Who could ever forget looking into the stands at Clemmons field and seeing Brandon's mother (sorry don't remember her name), sitting beside Jackie, each playing with Brandon. You talk about deja vous!! I had always heard that when you "grow up" you will learn to have "mature" relationships and boys this is a shining example. I mean for CJ to be able to pull this feat off makes me believe that there will be peace in the world one day. 2. The special relationship between Everyone's all american and future first round draft pick DEAN and coach Curtis. This was a thing of beauty. 3. The revolving door that is the Rob Jones fan club. 4. Oh man I almost forgot about this one....and perhaps this deserves a special notation all its own. I personally will never forget the sequence of events leading up to the Scott Zimmerman institutionalization. Dude had already endeared himself to the team with his unique style of play and witty bantor. But when he went AWOL on the fall season without a call or a voicemail or nothing.....he received an outpouring of support in the form of "if you show up to the field you are dead" ...."you are off the team"....and the like. Then upon hearing his extremely scary and shocking voicemail talking about rehab and being disappointed and really feeling like we were his family cuz he never really had one.....the mudcats were quick to stick by their guns and offer up a consolitory "hope all goes well"..."if you need anything let us know"....and so forth. Talk about having Crow for Thanksgiving.