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This is King Carl's Corner......
Welcome to King Carl's Corner - your source for the latest information about the Predator's aging veteran shortstop. You can easily recognize Carl anywhere. Just look for the ONLY person wearing a blue cap with the letters K C that stands for "King Carl". (It’s his way of telling you to worship him….)
Periodically we will post articles about "King Carl" including softball stories, run-ins with the law, attempts at jumping to other softball teams, trying out new careers, and of course - Carl's dating status. The most accurate and dependable accounts of King Carl and his activities can be found right here!!
KCVoice1
Monday, February 27
- NEWS FLASH -
SAY WHAT?! "KING CARL" MALINOSKY IS ENGAGED!!!!
February 27, 2006 - The Predator Press is busy confirming details this rumor that swept the World Wide Web early Monday morning.... In the meantime - we must continue to remind all prospective brides that the Official King Carl Dating Status remains "OCUPADO"
King Carl Visits Subjects in New England - Collects Taxes and Accepts Gifts
 | |  | | King Carl worshiped on his throne in South Newfane, VT |
"King Carl" Malinosky recently traveled to several northern New England villages on a quest to collect taxes and to give his "hill people" an opportunity to worship him....
While visiting the gas station/post office of South Newfane, Vermont - "King Carl" decreed that until all taxes are collected - there will be no drinking, dancing, toilet paper or snack foods for anyone. King Carl then entered the facility that also serves as the county grocery store / liquor store. After pounding down some really cheap wine - King Carl ascended his wooden throne where the locals came to tell the almighty KC how good he looks and to ask his permission to kiss his hand.
 | | King Carl seated in his outdoor New Hampshire Throne |
Another King Carl Survey......
Updated dating Status for "King Carl" Released......
After months of speculation - "King Carl" Malinosky's Data Status has been upgraded from "AVAILABLE" to "OCUPADO" whick translates to Occupied or Taken.
King Carl Surveys !!!
"King Carl" Allegedly Using Enhancement Substances
|  | | Substances found in "King Carl's apartment includes holiday greeting from BALCO. | |
Milford, CT (12/31/2004) After receiving several anonymous tips - the Predators executed an unannounced inspection of “King Carl” Malinosky’s luxury apartment in Milford on New Year’s Eve. The surprise investigation revealed evidence linking the aging veteran shortstop to “body enhancing” substances from BALCO. Among evidence found in the raid was a holiday greeting from BALCO as well as a local newspaper appropriately titled "Confessions of An Ex-Drunk". It was also reported that King Carl continues to battle his well-known vices (cheap booze and karaoke) based on other evidence investigators chose not to show. “King Carl was already walking on a thin line” commented Predator GM Matt Kraynak… “You have to feel sorry for the guy. We can tell he is trying to straighten out. Take a look in his room – he’s actually drinking beer from a bottle that is NOT green (albeit the beer is warm). Regardless – this is a step up for King Carl.”
Among the evidence confiscated include a containers labeled “BALCO Power Cream” and “BALCO Clear Power Drops”. These substances will undergo tests at PREDATOR LABS for further analysis.
A hidden camera later captured King Carl reaching for one of his warm “brown bottle” beers on his windowsill. It was noted that King Carl did not realize that “The Clear” and “The Cream” were confiscated. King Carl Malinosky’s agent did not return phone calls, and King Carl has also disappeared.
 | | Evidence found in surprise inspection of "King Carl's apartment 12/31/2004 |
"King of Self-Promotion" Malinosky Acting Up Again
|  | | Malinosky promoting himself again.... |
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Milford, CT (4/4/2004) The Predator’s aging veteran shortstop Carl Malinosky was recently seen engaging in “strange..yet mildly entertaining” behavior at an undisclosed college campus. In the only known photograph of the event, “King Carl” appears to be enjoying himself immensely. As a master of self-promotion – Malinosky was seen wrapping himself in lights and dancing to an Irish folk song in front a small gathering of college-age women. In attempting to explain Malinosky’s behavior, Predator Team Psychologist Dr. Apooh Mugupentipedagapillae remarked that it was possible Carl was attempting to re-live his “glory days” in Las Vegas. Another theory of Mugupentipedagapillae’s is that Carl was just simply “flat out drunk”.
It is unknown whether Malinosky’s 2004 contract was violated by his recent activities. Predator management simply stated that they will “review the matter soon”.
Surprise Inspection Reveals Another Carl “Secret”
| |  | | Inspector Cobb with Carl's Door Message |
Milford, CT (8/9/2003) Today the Predators conducted a surprise inspection of Carl Malinosky’s residence, in accordance with the contract extension the aging veteran received from the Predators this past spring. According to the contract, surprise inspections can be executed on any day at any time, so long as there are two or more team representatives present. Mike “Cobb” Kraynak led this afternoon’s inspection, and was accompanied by Predator GM Matt Kraynak, and Predator Overlord Dave Guernsey. Carl E. Johnson was hired as a neutral witness and photographer for the afternoon.
When the Predators re-signed Malinosky, there were concerns over Carl’s extravagant and flamboyant lifestyle. There were also concerns over his ongoing addition to Scope Mouthwash, Ring Dings, and Cheese Nips. Although the inspectors did not find any of the “prohibited” items this afternoon, they were surprised to discover several new editions of Girls Life magazine in plain sight. It was concluded and confirmed that Carl continues to keep up with the latest fashions and trends through the eyes of the popular teen magazine.
Other observations included some shiny pieces of metal, fourteen pillows on his bed and a nearly complete collection of Nancy Drew mystery books in the far corner of his room. Although there was no smoking gun this time around, the information gathered from this inspection will be logged and analyzed for possible follow-up actions in the near future.
 | | Shocking photos of Malinosky Room and Bedroom Door Greeting Note |
The "note" on Carl's bedroom door says:
DO NOT ENTER UNLESS:
You are Brittney Spears OR
You are Betty White OR
You are Joan Jett OR
Your are otherwise a female aged 16-24 or 46–69 and:
Have Black, Red, Blonde or Gray Hair (a blueish hue is also doable) AND
You are single (however you define “single”) AND
You like cheap wine AND
You have a few minutes to spare OR
You are the landlord OR
You are anyone affiliated with the Milford Predators organization (player, management, friends and associates)
The note was also taken into evidence in consideration of Carl's continued association with the Predator organization.
Malinosky Blows Off Practice - Again
Milford, CT (06/08/2003) Aging veteran Shortstop Carl Malinosky was a no-show at today's very important tune-up practice at Platt Tech. Although Carl indicated he was "unable" to practice - an eyewitness from the Farmington area indicated he saw Carl crossing a road at a golf course. "This is a serious issue" remarked Predator GM - Matt Kraynak -- "Carl was busy ruining what is left of his batting swing on golf - while the rest of the team endured the mud and mosquitoes of Platt Field. Ummmm - on the other hand - perhaps golf is exactly what carl needs for his batting swing....." Malinosky was unavailable for comment - as usual.
Carl Malinosky Seen With "Mystery Girl"
|  | | Carl and A Woman December 2002 | |
Milford, CT (12/31/2002) Carl Malinosky - the Predators ancient shortstop (also rumored to be retired soon) - was recently photographed with an unidentified woman at a Connecticut night club. This sighting proves that Carl has returned from his ill fated west coast trip (after attempting to become an entertainer in Las Vegas). To protect the young woman's rights and to save her from embarrassment - her photo is partially masked.
The Predators enter their 20th season in the Milford Sunday Night League with a big fat question mark over who will be the starting shortstop. Carl's name does not seem to be on the table any more. The latest rumors place veteran Predator Mike Krajewski back at shortstop in 2003 - at the position he lost more than 11 years ago to all time great John Higgins.
Discussions with Predators Overlord Dave Guernsey commence on New Years's Eve. An announcement is expected soon.
Photo Confirms Malinosky In Las Vegas
|  | | Carl Malinosky performing in Las Vegas nightclub November 2002 | |
Las Vagas, NV (12/17/2002) The rumors first reported regarding Carl Malinosky's apparent jump to Las Vegas nightclub entertainment has now been confirmed. A photo taken from an undisclosed nightclub shows the aging Predator Shortstop attempting to gain control of a crowd as he prepares to croon.
Shortly after the softball season was completed, Carl slipped out of public site in Connecticut (for reasons only known to him). In October Mr Malinosky resurfaced in Las Vegas NV, as was reported on this website. Since then, Carl has managed to "lay low" out of camera site (as he is accustomed to doing). It is anticipated that Carl will soon run out of money and need to come back home where he can live off of someone else again.
If you happen to spot Carl and have a camera handy - please take a picture and send it to this website. We will publish authenticated photos only.
Malinosky Observed Entertaining In Las Vegas Club
|  | | Postcard From Las Vegas about "King Carl" |
Las Vegas, NV (10/12/2002) Well - surprise, suprise, surprise! Our aging shorstop Carl Malinosky was recently observed by several vacationing Milford Predator fans entertaining in a Las Vegas Night Club. A postcard dated October 12, 2002 marks one of the earliest sitings. It reads: "Matt, when we first went to the STARDUST I was floored to find our friend Carl Malinosky sitting in for Wayne Newton!!! Wayne had a sore throat.
Carl said this was his first real opportunity to break with "THE TEAM". Between you and me, he has a much better arm than he does a singing voice. Maybe the team can invite Wayne to Spring training?!!! Dad".
My friends, the note speaks volumes.
If anyone has seen Carl recently - please get an "action photo" of him and send it in. We will post "authenticated" photos only.
Malinosky Identified as Organizer of Wild Stag
West Haven, CT (9/21/2002) Once again the Predators aging veteran shortstop Carl Malinosky has made local news. This time Carl was rumored to have organized the largest, wildest stag party in West Haven history. Upon arriving to the location for a routine inspection, Predator GM Matt Kraynak was greeted by no less that 350 Harley Davidson enthusiasts - clearly invited by Carl for the alleged "fund raising" stag party. Unable to enter the "club" without a substancial fee and a cavity search, Kraynak had to rely upon individuals leaving the building for details. Unfortunately, all leaving the building each stated no comment and fled the scene. The incident remains under investigation.
Carl Malinosky Dragnet is ACTIVE....
Milford, CT (7/14/02) Veteran shortstop Carl Malinosky is "on the prowl" once again. As a public service, the Predators shall publish Carl's Dating Status periodically on this site. Below is a sample of what you shall see in the days, weeks and months ahead:
Malinosky MISSING!!! Or is he ....????
Milford, CT (8/9/2002) Aging Predators shortstop Carl Malinosky is nowhere to be found. The last time "King Carl" was seen - he was taking out the garbage at the home of Predator sponsor Dave Guernsey Monday morning. Despite repeated phone calls and personal visits to Carl's apartment - there is no sign of Carl. Predator teammates reacted once the news broke: Matt Kraynak said: "It's one of two possibilities we are looking at. Either Carl is actually missing..OR he is pulling his traditional year-end "save my statistics" maneuver that - by virtue of not playing - prevents his batting average and on base perentage from going down. Carl usually peaks by Game 5 and it's all downhill from there". Todd Slade said; "I wish it turns out Carl really IS lost - because what I fear to be the truth in the matter is not good for team morale." Mike Krajewski said: "Carl who?"; Billy Smith said: "I want to play Shortstop". Pete Gomis said: "Let's look at the bright side...we won't have to worry about Carl making the last out again".
If anyone has seen Carl Malinosky - who always wears a Kansas City Royal cap claiming the KC stands for "King Carl" - don't make eye contact. Simply go into your home - lock the doors and contact your local authorities.
Malinosky Attempts Career in Golf: Tries To Influence GM
Farmington, CT (8/25/2001) The Tunxis Plantation Country Club golf course was the venue from which Carl Malinosky was to launch his new career in golf - however this did not turn out to be the case. Predator GM Matt Kraynak - who accompanied the aging shortstop on this day had some interesting comments. Kraynak stated to the Predator Press: "There is no way Carl can control that awful slice and expect to earn a living in golf". Furthermore he commented: "Carl swings his golf club as if it were a double-wall softball bat. He was clearly hedging his bets today on a future in golf or with the Predators. I realized this after he repeatedly offered to clean my golf clubs - and later slipped me a $20 bill for no apparent reason at all".
Malinosky Becomes Indentured Slave To Team Sponsor
Milford, CT (11/5/2001) In a most desperate move to remain on the Predator roster, aging shortstop Carl Malinosky recently moved into the home of Predator Team Sponsor Dave Guernsey to become Dave's indentured slave for an indefinite period of time. Although this may be shocking to some - several Predator players were not surprised. "Thank God I don't have to do that.." said 18 year veteran Mike Krajewski. "Unlike Carl, my on the field talent speaks for itself - and I am comfortably secure where I stand". When the Predators All-Star Catcher Fred Bialka heard the news about Carl, his reaction was rather somber. Fred shook his head and said "Carl can still be an excellent bat boy if he would simply APPLY himself". Outfielder Chuck Schroeder commented: "Carl really shouldn't worry about what people say about him - because it's all true".
Carl was last seen taking out the garbage at Dave's house earlier this week. When asked for comment, Carl snipped back; "I have dishes to do".
Malinosky Trade Talks Break Off
Milford CT (12/23/2000)- Despite rigorous attempts to hock Shortstop Carl Malinosky for anything of value - there have been no takers. In a move that can only be described as "humanitarian", GM Matt Kraynak has indicated he would allow the aging veteran a chance to return to the Predator training camp once again in 2001. As usual - Carl could not be reached for comment.
Malinosky Trade Imminent
Rumors about a trade involving veteran shortstop Carl Malinosky were further fueled by his lack of attendance at the Predators recent playoff games. As usual, Carl could not be reached for comment. From a source close to Predator Management, a deal may be cut as early as Saturday, that would have Carl playing for Predator archrivals - the "He Man Woman Haters Club". In return, the Predators would recieve a six pack of Budweiser beer, and a Charizard Pokemon Card.
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