: Parent's

The Ten Commandments for Parents of Athletic Children 

1     Make sure your child knows that, win or lose, scared or heroic, you love them, appreciate their efforts, and are never disappointed.  This will allow them to do their best without fear of failure.  Be the person in their life they can look to for constant positive enforcement. 

 2    Try your best to be completely honest about your child’s athletic ability, their competitive attitude, their sportsmanship, and their actual skill level.

3     Be helpful but don’t coach them on the way to the game or on the way back, or at breakfast, and so on.  It’s tough not to, but it’s a lot tougher for the child to be inundated with advice.  Pep talks are often critical instruction.

4     Teach them to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be “out there trying,” to be working to improve thier skills and attitudes.  Help them to develop the feel for competing, for trying hard, for having fun.

5     Try not to relive your athletic life through your child in a way that creates pressure; you lost as well as won.  You were frightened, you backed off at times, you were not always heroic.  Don’t pressure your child because of your pride.

6     Don’t compete with the coach.  If the coach becomes an authority figure, it will turn from enchantment to disenchantment, etc., with your athlete if you interfere with or debate the coach’s plan or ability.  Be supportive.

7     Don’t compare the skill, courage, or attitudes of your child with other members of the team.

8     Get to know the coach so that you can be assured that his philosophy, attitudes, ethics, and knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under his/her leadership.

9     Always remember that children tend to exaggerate, both when praised and when criticized.  Temper your reaction and investigate before over-reacting.

10   Make a point of understanding courage, and the fact that it is relative.  Some of us can climb mountains, and are afraid to fight.  Some of us will fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches.  Everyone is frightened in certain areas.  Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but a means of doing something in spite of fear of discomfort.

The job of the parent of an athletic child is a tough one, and it takes a lot of effort to do it well.  It is worth all the effort when you hear your child say, “My parents really helped and I was lucky in this respect.”