Adults know that whether or not sports bring joy or sadness to children is a direct consequence of the goals they have for children's sports. Unfortunately these goals are not always the same goals the children have for participating in sports.

Too many adults have winning as the only goal. Even though they may deny it verbally, their behavior reflects a winning is everything attitude. Uncontaminated by adult influence, children far more often have fun as their first goal and winning as their second goal. Watching children play sports without adult intervention makes the goals of their play self-evident. For example, when kids are asked whether they would prefer to win or to have fun 95% said to have fun. When asked whether they would prefer to be on a winning team but sit on the bench or be on a losing team and play, over 90% chose to play on a losing team.

It is no tragedy, of course, for children to lose a contest, to make an error, or to perform poorly; the tragedy is when parents belittle their children, destroying their self-respect and often the respect for their parents. Verbally berating the coach or belittling the ability of the coaching staff of the team is inappropriate, disrespectful, and unacceptable. Some parents seem to think that dealing with their children as athletes is somehow isolated from the rest of child rearing. They become so emotionally engrossed in their children's sports that they forget their child-rearing responsibilities. It is as though parents perceive a reversal of roles. Now they expect their athlete-child to behave as an adult, while they resort to the behavior of the odious child.