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"Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat."
"Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times."
"Career highlights? I had two. I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax
and I got out of a rundown against the Mets."
"I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly."
"If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter."
"I had slumps that lasted into the winter."
"I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel
and when his manager Herman Franks
came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase."
"I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture."
"I led the league in "Go get 'em next time."
"In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs."
"I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed."
"I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up."
"One time, I got pulled over at four a.m. I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies."
"People don't know this but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it."
"Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products."
"Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?"
"The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud."
"The highlight of my career? In '67 with St. Louis, I walked with the bases loaded to drive in the winning run in an intersquad game in spring training."
"Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist."
"The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up."
"When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes."
"When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me."
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