_________________________________________________________ F A M E F O R U M N E W S L E T T E R N A T I O N A L W O M E N 'S B A S E B A L L H A L L O F F A M E National Syndicated Column (contents are protected) Copyrights(c), NWB Hall of Fame, 1998-2006 TXU877085, TXU959430, TXU973266, TXU013972, TXU986753, TXU949885, TXU004037, TXU022893, TXU026161, TXU047111, TXU050230, TXU061149, TXU088068, TXU120937, TXU148132, TXU163784, TXU170668, TXU196853, TXU211917, TXU216769, TXU234252, TXU253116, TXU260664, TXU180346, and TXU181096. Issue Number 00336 _________________________________________________________ Volume IX, Number 15 Publisher and Author June 22, 2006 Richard C. Jaffeson Washington, DC HallFame@usa.com http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame _________________________________________________________ 2005 NWB HALL OF FAME INDUCTIONS WINTER, BRENNEMAN, SWEENEY, FERENO SEE THE WEBSITE PHOTO PAGES "HALL OF FAMERS" http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame/albums DIDRIKSON, HOWARD, SCHILLACE, DANCER, FERGUSON, WINTER, WRIGHT, LUKASIK, MILLIKEN, BALLENTINE, GEYER, WALLACE, CIULLA, GUIDACE, MACURIO, SHELDON, BEAUCHAMP, HUDSON, BRENNEMAN, FERENO, SWEENEY TED WILLIAMS WEBSITE http://www.saveted.net _________________________________________________________ A. COLUMN: MEET JANE DOE "You want me to jump off the what?" a somewhat surprised and disheveled out-of-work bush league pitcher stammered in response to an extraordinary request to participate in an unusual newspaper public relations stunt scheduled on the forthcoming 4th of July. "Yes, you heard me right, sister! Circulation is down, so you're going up and out!" snapped the editor-in-chief. "We'll start the coverage today," he smiled and continued to explain, "and have a couple of weeks to build interest and expand readership around your story. I don't want us to windup like the Inquirer." "Then," he dramatically walked towards his office window and opened the drawn shades to better imagine the scene, "on Independence Day, America's birthday, in the nation's front lawn; it's you off the tip-top." "Hey, that'll hurt! There's a sharp pinnacle up there!" the mark squirmed in discomfort at the entire suggestion. "I think I'll skedaddle right out of this here town." "I didn't mean that literally," the editor puffed further. "We're thinking about from the observation deck, and there you could squeeze through a window. It will be closed due to the holiday, and we'll use the underground passages to avoid the surrounding crowds. They're tunnels all over the place connecting everything; built during World War II. We'll get you in alright." "Yeah, but it's the after part that bothers me, you bet," the doe-eyed target proclaimed. "I came in here because I heard you all were offering some kind of job, and that just maybe there might be a few left over, but not this. It's downright unhealthy, why a gal could get..." "Don't worry, don't worry," the editor rudely interrupted. "You'll make a grand statement. We'll capture headlines all over the country, in all corners of the world, and on all the internet circuses." "Yeah, but all I'll make is a grand splat, that's what," her assessment of the special assignment was becoming a little more clear. "Listen sister, you won't really jump," the editor lowered his voice in an attempt to reassure. "We pretend, and one of the Star's reporters, ever-vigilant, saves you at the last minute. Terrific news story! Great publicity!" "What if he doesn't save me in time or has butterfingers? Do I still go out the window? Will the 4th of July be the last time I play?" "Those windows are locked tight and aren't suppose to open," the editor cautiously reminded her. "And, they're thick, like in an airplane. But, if somehow one is pried loose, and you fly out like a little bird, then we'll ship your remains Arizona bound in a Saratoga trunk to be frozen at the Star's expense. In 100 years, they'll defrost you, and you'll be some sort of hero." "Besides sister," he paused for a moment to size up the situation and mildly teased, "I don't think you'd fit. I've seen the windows. And, of the two farewell endings, we prefer you alive, there's more potential coverage." "I'm still not so sure about this," was the timid reply. "You don't jump!" he sternly assured her. "It's all a gag, you know for publicity, for attention, for circulation!" "You want the $50,000 which we promised?" he continued. "You need some quick money? You have to pay your bills? You'd like to get that elbow fixed so you can pitch again? Well, sit down, dummy-up, and do exactly as you're told, like a trained seal." The editor pointed to a chair in front of his desk. "Here's the picture," he strutted around to the side of the desk slowly moving his arms as if painting a scene. "You're angry! You're mad! The whole nation is shot, and you're protesting. You can't do anything about it, so you're jumping. It's a big country, and everybody will be listening. And, we'll be there with coverage. High noon when the bell tolls on the 4th of July in the middle of the Mall from atop the Washington Monument! What a statement! What a great story!" "What am I protesting? Hey, I'm not mad at anyone." "Oh, yes you are," the editor demanded, "as is every Jane and John Doe in towns and cities across America. And, if they're not, we'll make them so. You're mad at fighting and killing. You're mad at rising prices and depressed wages. You're mad at the infiltration and manipulation of our country's institutions where basic values are being torn apart. And, you're mad at government inefficiency, hypocrisy, and corruption!" Lowering his voice he quickly added, "We already have a speech written for you to make, it'll sound swell, better than a Paul Gallico novel." "Hey, I'm no good at making speeches," she complained. "We have the words," he explained. "You just pretend, and read them. The same text will be already set for publication in print and on the internet. Your words will be around the world before you ever set foot back on the ground. But, you have to go up there, probably take the stairs. You can do that can't you?" "Yup, sure I can! I'm in good shape," she responded, while momentarily forgetting the potentially hazardous nature of this proposed assignment. "You know I'm a baseball player, ain't I?!" she smiled. "Say, how high is that thing, anyway?" "Well, the last time I checked," the editor laughed, "it was at 555' 5", and I don't think it has grown any since this morning. You'll have to climb 897 steps, but coming down will be easy." "The Washington Monument, huh," she pondered further. "Isn't that by the Smithsonian where they keep the Hope Diamond and Blue Water Sapphire?" She considered, "What if I'm arrested for trespassing or something?" "Look, we've already taken care of that," the editor revealed. "It has been cleared with the Park Service, and I have a permit for exclusive press coverage from the Monument on the 4th of July. You'll be classified as part of our team, but we won't report it that way." "Say, this whole thing is kinda of a hoax, ain't it," she finally surmised. "You catch on fast, sister," the editor slyly grinned, "but, don't ever state it that way." "Those fancy words don't really mean anything, do they," she continued, "if it's all a big put on? I'm not so sure about this." "Look, just do what you're told," the editor was getting impatient. "Read the script, as we all do." "I'd prefer making my own statement, if you'd let me." "Oh, sister, what could that be?" he raised an eyebrow. "Well, I ain't so great in ciphering," she began, "but there were plenty of fellas who came up with some good ideas about how to live, without those fancy words." "What do you mean? For example?" the editor was curious. "Well, like in baseball, Jackie Robinson had his words to live by, 'Jackie's Nine Values.' He was with Brooklyn a while ago, although I kinda of favor the Yankees. But, his daughter wrote them down in 2001. Then there's that fella Miller, when he was Governor of Georgia, which is right next door to Tennessee, he summarized Corps Values based on experiences in life and in the Marines. And, going way back to Ben Franklin, he had thirteen virtues, always had a tough time with the last one on humility." "But, the best, one of the first of all time, is straight out of Exodus 20, those Ten Commandments have been around for 3,000 years, or so. When I got religion, that's what done it, along with a lightening bolt from the Almighty. What if everybody followed those commandments, at least the 'Thou shall not' parts?!" "Well, you can't mention all of those," the editor had his own story to consider. "As for quoting the Bible, we can't have any of that either. The Park Service won't stand for it, as soon as anyone mentions the Bible, Jesus, or Moses; they'll stop listening and will revoke our permit." "Did you know what they did for the 200th anniversary in 2003 commemorating the historic Lewis and Clark expedition? The park director removed words about Christmas and Easter out of their daily journal. During the radio broadcast on the event, he told a home-schooled kid Lewis and Clark never celebrated any religious holidays on their entire journey." "So, we aren't taking any chances," the editor reflected. "The financial viability of the newspaper is at stake." "Well, I can make those statements without saying a word." "How's that, sister?" the thought intrigued the editor. "I'll wear 'em," she smiled. "See, like this here ribbon. A while back I got all sorts of ribbons, even one from the President. I have those from Robinson, Miller, and Franklin, and the commandments, too." "And, I will give them away free to anyone who asks me," she concluded. "I could wear them anytime and anywhere, it's like friendly persuasion. These are the ideas which make America great! Yup, everyone should know about 'em, especially on the 4th of July!" Note: Significantly adapted from the movie "Meet John Doe," 1950, directed by Frank Capra and starring Gary Cooper, Barbara Stanwyck, and Walter Brennan. The ribbons cited above are available without charge. Print and complete the form below, and send it with a self-addressed stamped envelope (two 39c stamps) to: NWB Hall of Fame, PO Box 15282, Chevy Chase, MD 20825. Select any three (3) ribbons free. []-"Jackie's Nine Values" ____ green []-"Miller's Corp Values" ____ red []-"Ben Franklin's Virtues" ____ gray []-"Ten Commandments" ____ purple ____ white ____ black ________________________________________ Name ________________________________________ Street ________________________________________ City, State, Zip ________________________________________ Email Ribbons are 2" x 8" with gold lettering. (see attachment) B. NWB HALL OF FAME PRODUCTS These baseball items are available from the NWB Hall of Fame: new induction poster, commemorative buttons (2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, 2000, and 1999), personalized magnet locker nametags, t-shirts, caps, knife, and model bats. The website main page has order information, and the photo page displays most items. http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame C. HISTORIC TIMELINE June 21, 1731 Martha Washington birthdate, First Lady. June 21, 1964 Jim Bunning pitches perfect game. June 22, 1903 Carl Hubbard birthdate, MLB Hall of Fame. June 23, 1963 Jimmy Piersall runs bases backwards. June 23, 1981 Longest professional game, 33 innings (Cal Ripken and Red Wings at Pawtucket). June 24, 1983 Don Sutton pitches 3,000th strikeout. June 25, 1906 Joe Kuhel birthdate, MLB player. June 26, 1819 Abner Doubleday birthdate. June 26, 1914 Babe Didrikson birthdate, NWB Hall of Fame. June 26, 1916 Cleveland originates use of uniform numbers. June 27, 1876 Davy Force first with 6 hits in one game. June 28, 1906 Marie Goeppert Mayer birthdate, Nobel Prize. June 28, 1910 Joe Tinker steals home twice in one game. June 28, 1949 Don Baylor birthdate, MLB player. June 29, 1905 Moonlight Graham plays only MLB game. June 29, 1936 Harmon Killebrew birthdate, MLB Hall of Fame. June 29, 1990 Two no-hitters on the same day, Athletics in Toronto, Dodgers in Saint Louis. June 30, 1908 Cy Young at 41 pitches third career no-hitter. June 30, 1929 Bobby Jones wins US Open by 23 shots. D. FAME FORUM ISSUES Volume IX, 2006 Season Publications Number 15, Meet Jane Doe (codes), June 22. Number 14, 2006 NWB Hall of Fame Induction Form, May 31. Number 13, Playing on Abraham's Side (Williams), May 25. Number 12, Clifford Finds the Easter Bunny, April 14. Number 11, Way to Go Joltin' Jo (Joes and Jo), April 7. Number 10, Alibi Isis Misses Spring Training, March 31. Number 09, Clifford Wears Some Green, March 15. Number 08, Let the Games Begin (1936 Olympics), March 14. Number 07, To Be or Not to Be (Williams), February 24. Number 06, Clifford's Favorite Valentine, February 10. Number 05, Models D29 and 36D (Marilyn), February 5. Number 04, Additional Recognition (letter), February 1. Number 03, Breaking Away (DiMaggio), January 20. Number 02, Annie's Big Apple (Runyon), January 10. Number 01, That Was the Year That Was (2005), January 1. http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame/news E. NWB HALL OF FAME PROGRAMS The National Women's Baseball Hall of Fame, an independent not-for-profit organization established September 1998, is situated in suburban Washington, DC. The objective is to recognize achievements of women in regulation baseball. The NWB Hall of Fame offers these programs for participants in regulation baseball with organized leagues. Managers are are encouraged to recommend recognition awards and suggest articles on their teams, players, or events. Applications are available through email and are posted on the website. NWB HALL OF FAME INDUCTIONS Nominations for the NWB Hall of Fame are due September 30. Inductions may include four current and one previous players by formal application or candidate statement. NATIONAL MVP AND MANAGER AWARDS MVP player and manager award requests are due December 31. Season nominations should be by a manager or administrator. One MVP player per team may be selected annually. Membership covers transmission of newsletters, announcements, invitations, applications, and access to all website pages. Membership is $9.00 renewed annually, and an application is available on the NWB Hall of Fame website. _________________________________________________________ NATIONAL WOMEN'S BASEBALL HALL OF FAME Richard C. Jaffeson, Executive Director PO Box 15282, Chevy Chase, Maryland 20825 301-847-0102 HallFame@USA.com http://www.eteamz.com/hallfame "National Women's Baseball Hall of Fame" is a registered trade name with the State of Maryland. MD672265, October 19, 1998. "National Women's Baseball Hall of Fame" is a Trademark/Servicemark pending with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Programs, articles, and contents presented herein are protected under provisions of the U.S. Copyright Office, Library of Congress. Fame Forum registrations are listed below: TXU877085, TXU959430, TXU973266, TXU013972, TXU986753, TXU949885, TXU004037, TXU022893, TXU026161, TXU047111, TXU050230, TXU061149, TXU088068, TXU120937, TXU148132, TXU163784, TXU170668, TXU196853, TXU211917, TXU216769, TXU234252, TXU253116, TXU260664, TXU180346, and TXU181096. Copyrights(c), NWB Hall of Fame, 1998-2006 __________________________________________________________