Domday officials announced today that the GTA's newest and hottest retro rock band had been officially signed for a gig on Sunday, July 5th at the annual Domday party.

DDC Director of Music, Sound & Entertainment  Billy Pinto says that SHORT LEASH has been contracted to keep the "joint hopping" at the party at Hollywood on The Queensway.  "Everyone will love these guys", commented Shinto, " ... they are serious about their music ... not the funniest guys alive but great musicians". 

Pinto released the following info about the band members who appear to like to be referred to by dog names ??

Spot (guitar)
Spot is eager and playful. Friendly to a fault and likes a good scratch. Occasionally, in the middle of a song, he will head out solo, but always comes back to join the pack. When King howls, he'll often join in. His favorite toy is a frisbee, and the thing he hates the most is vacuum cleaners. They suck.

Buddy (bass)
Buddy may look a little tough, though he's just a big ol' puppy. May not bark much, but when he does, it's deep. The old dog of the pack, he can still run with the others, even if he's a little faded in the muzzle. His favorite pastime is a good nap. Thing he hates the most is squirrels - Pure. Gray. Evil.

Basher (drums)
Basher is an All Canadian, with a little junkyard dog thrown in. Though he's sometimes thought as a little off, he's the steadiest member of the pack. Likes to chase cars, and sometimes catches them. Also a hunter, he likes to track game. Basher is often seen around bins, barrels and drums, and he loves to fetch sticks. For some reason, he really hates newspapers.

King (vocals)
King loves to howl, especially at the moon. The retriever in him makes him faithful and loyal. Just don't show him a tennis ball - you'll have to throw it for hours. And hours. And hours. His pet peeve is vet visits, so you have to fake him out with a tennis ball first.

"This must be another one of Donnie's jokes", commented new Greys coach Gordo McCrae, " ... I mean come on !"   Paul West did not have much to say about it.  "Couldn't give a rat's ass about them myself", he stated.

More info on the band can be found at www.shortleash.ca

Domday executives pretty well admitted in a backward way last night that the well is indeed just about dry.  In releasing the news on the three new expansion franchises for the upcoming Domday 32 in an emotion filled evening at the leagues annual pre-draft press conference last night in the Dick Delmer Ballroom at the Red Cabin Inn in Gananoque, Ontario; the DDC brass fought their way through a very, very awkward night.

Domday head honcho Mike Minnow began the evenings festivities in a surprisingly sombre mood.  "Before we release the names of the new franchise ownership groups, let me just preface it by saying that the Coaching Search Committee wholeheartedly believes that we have done all we can to come up with the best candidates.  From the stack of applications received over the past year we worked our way down the three groups that we are introducing to you this evening.   It has been an interesting off season to say the least here at TEN MEN ... we all know there will be better years to come in many, many ways ... including hopefully the quality of coaching applicants. At this point in time, I will turn it over to Dick Delmer for the formal announcment."

"Thank you Mike ... and by the way, thanks for all of your work on this", added longtime DDC kingpin Dick Delmer with a seemingly evil eye towards Mr. Minnow, before continuing, " ... it really was a long, drawn out decision impacted by many different circumstances.  I'm not sure I agree with Mr. Minnow on his point about having done everything we can, but nevertheless it is time to move forward.  These three gentlemen have distinguished themselves on numerous occasions thoughout the years with the organization ... unfortunately we cannot talk about those incidents tonight in this public forum.  I really have nothing else to say about them at this point.  What a $%#$*& joke.  I will turn it over to Al McCrae to reveal the names."

At that point in the evening Domday Utility G.O.D. Al McCrae threw those in attendance for a bit of a loop.  "Thanks ... I want to switch gears for a minute and talk about the framework of the new GRADED DRAFT ACT that was passed by some of my piers.  Contrary to what I have said the last 31 years, I do not think I am as good as a 2nd rounder ... and I know some of my friends like Mr. Phooda and Mr. Babe feel the same way and we are all upset by this legislation. " At that instant Mr. Delmer bolted back up to the podium, grabbed the triple rye & coke out of McCrae's hand, put his own hand over the microphone and whispered something tersely in Mr. McCrae's ear, before returning to his seat.

"O.k., o.k., get off me Dick ... ummm ... what do you want me to say ???", added Mr. McCrae, "... Oh yeah, here is Domday apostle Mike Phooda with the news that we have all been waiting for."

"Thank you everyone for your patience while my colleagues have all spoken.  I am honoured to have the priviledge of announcing to you all that our three new franchise owners are Steve Turner, Gord McCrae and Frank Tarasco."  After a sustained period of a good five minutes or so of laughter and giggling, Mr. Phooda commanded the attention of the crowd.  "Please ... please ... quiet, quiet ... the best part is yet to come."  Twisting the neck of his ugly tie and running his hand through his gel filled graying hair, he continued " ... the names of the franchises are the Pirates, the Greys and the Steelers." 

With that statement, the ensuing events could only be described as pure bedlam and mayhem in the ballroom.   Mr. Phooda quickly ducked behind the podium as a cascade of chairs, empty beer bottles and glasses were thrown his way, not unlike the way he has craftily avoided the many flying objects in his home of late.  

Fights broke out all over the room, and several had direct ties to the new coaching appointments. The feature bouts included a classic between sisters Cindy and Kim Fillman.  "Couldn't you and your hubby come up with a better friggin' name? ... this is DOMDAY!", screamed Cindy who was obviously upset.  She was heard yelling "you *** !" at the new franchise owner Gord McCrae's wife while ripping off her plain grey t-shirt with the name GREYS written in black marker on the sleeve.  Another brawl between Pam Tarasco, the wife of new franchise owner Frank Tarasco and Frank's ex-wife Michelle really got out of hand.  "He would have had a better name for the team if he had stuck with me", chirped Michelle at Pam while spitting on Pam's Pittsburgh Steelers t-shirt ... after which Pam immediately kicked the living crap out of her.   Many of the Domday'ers got a jolt out of a third one where when in the middle of giving her husband Steve support for his team name while circled by an angry group of Domday alumni, wifey Sheila bent over, dropped her drawers and unveiled a new tattoo near the crack of her ass with the team name PIRATES emblazened in a creative font.

"You have got to be $%*&#@ kidding me", asked DDC Chairman Emeritus Slade Digby after charging up to the podium, " ... those are the $#@(*& names of the new teams ... no $%#*&@ way !!! ... over my dead %$@#(* body will those be the names of the teams!"

After the mood was contained in the ballroom, Digby announced that there would be a poll put up on the Domday website to ask the fans for their opinion on team names.  "It's the only way I can see out of this mess", he said before heading off in his limousine to the private jet waiting for him at the Gananoque Airport. 

Domday execs said this morning in a prepared statement that they hoped to have the franchise name situation solved prior to this Friday's player dispersal draft.