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 PARENT'S HANDBOOK 
What Little League Expects of Parents
§Attend your child's games
§Be a supportive parent for the manager and team
§Communicate with the manager only in appropriate ways
§Cheer for all players on the team
§Be a positive role model
§Be there for your child whether successful or struggling for success
§Respect and support league volunteers and umpires
§Understand that the game is difficult to learn and play
§Look for opportunities to work with your child on the basic skills of the game
§Be positive and supportive whether your team wins or loses
§Be a model of good sportsmanship
§Never use negative comments to either team or players
What does Your Coaching Staff Expect of You?
§To come to and enjoy the games. Cheer to make ALL the players feel important
§To allow them to coach and run the team
§To try not to question their leadership and training. All those involved with the game will make mistakes. This includes the coaches.
§Do not holler at the players, the umpires, or us. We are all responsible for setting examples for our children. WE must be the role models in society today. If we eliminate negative comments, the children will have an opportunity to play without any unnecessary pressures and will learn the value of good sportsmanship.
§If you wish to question our strategies or leadership, please do not do so in front of the players or fans. The coach's numbers will be available to you to call any time you have a concern. It will also be available if you wish to offer your services at practices. A helping hand is always welcome.
What You Should Expect From Your Coaching Staff
§To be on time for all practices and games.
§To be as fair as possible in giving equal time to all players
§To do our best to teach the fundamentals of the game
§To be positive and respect each child as an individual
§To set reasonable expectations for each child and for the season
§To teach the players the value of winning AND losing
§To never holler at any member of the team, the opposing team, or the umpires. Any confrontation will be handled in a respectful, quiet and individual manner.
Note about Little League Rules: The rules of Little League vary in some few but significant ways from the baseball you see on TV. Please learn the rules to better understand the game.
(I once asked a League Umpire how many of the players and coaches REALLY understood the rules of their game.
His answer was to hold up the fingers on ONE hand.)
Little League is an organization of volunteers. Bismarck Little League has NO paid positions. Each person involved gives of their time and effort to make a positive experience for all the players of the league.
The Board members spend much time year round to administer and organize the league.
Coaching staffs spend a huge amount of time in both the pre season and season for practices and games. They are giving of their experience and time, please respect that sacrifice.
Little League umpires again are volunteers. Many of them are also coaches or hold other positions in the league. There are never enough volunteers to do this important function. Respect their effort to learn the game and the rules of the game.
Parents and Sports
Parents voices, coming from the stands, have a major impact on the players concentration on the game.
Kids are raised to listen to everything their parents say. The same goes for their coach. A player will hear anything one of those three distinct voices says. Even if the words are not directed to them, they will listen. When a player hears one of those voices, he CANNOT ignore it. It will create a distraction and break their concentration just when they need it the most. They simply cannot tune out those voices particularly at a younger age.
As our season neared the end, my son talked to his mom about how much he loved the game and always tried hard but his dad was always yelling at him and he wasnt sure he wanted to play anymore. My first reaction was one of dismay and disbelief. I had always taken a great deal of pride at not being a yelling coach and could not understand why he felt that way. After we talked about the responsibility of being a coach and what we need to do, it suddenly occurred to my wife what was going on. Whenever he heard my voice, regardless to whom I was talking, my son thought I was only talking to him.
When coaching younger players, it is not uncommon to have to call out to the field, (to no one in particular) things such as Ok guys, lets focus on the batter or Come on guys, lets pay attention and play ball. Whenever my son heard my voice whether I was talking to him or not he assumed I was yelling at him simply because it came from me and I was loud enough to be heard across the field. We asked him about the other coaches and if he thought they yelled at him. Even though the other coaches are as active as I am, he didnt think they ever yelled or said anything. He was so focused on the game, he never even heard the other coaches because it wasnt his dads voice.
He had become very unhappy because no matter how hard he tried or how closely he paid attention, it seemed to him that I was never happy and I was always yelling at him. Just because he heard my voice.
I was lucky. He loved me and the sport enough to want to talk about it rather than simply becoming discouraged and finally quitting. Fortunately, we were able to talk it over and get things worked out. He even gave me some ideas on what kids want to hear and what motivates them.
That incident drove home the importance of understanding how a child thinks and how important it is to remember that they are there because they are having fun and because they want to please you.
One of the first steps parents must take to support the team is to eliminate their egos. It is tough for some parents to realize that they are not the ones playing. Parents need to remember these five points:
There are two kinds of people at any sporting event, players and fans. Coaches, referees and/or umpires fall into the players category.
A PLAYER is an active participant in the game. They either play a position, coach or call the game.
A FAN is a non-participating observer. They neither play, coach nor call the game. Their only purpose is to cheer on their favorite team and players.
A PARENT is a FAN, unless they happen to be one of the coaches on the field.
Any attempt by a FAN to become a PLAYER is not acceptable.
Your child stepping into the batters box hears a yell from their parent follow the ball all the way to the bat!. They were all psyched up to bat and now they are looking at you wondering if you think they are stupid because you have yelled it out fifty times before. It breaks their concentration.
What just happened? One of those three voices they cant ignore just gave them coaching instructions. They changed from being a fan to being a player and broke their concentration. Instead of being able to focus on being the best player they can be, they have to stop and regain their composure and concentration. They expect reminders from the coach. They expect cheers of support from you.
It is almost impossible for a parent to not yell out these kinds of things during their kids game. If the coaches have done their job well, the kids know what they are supposed to do. They also know when they dont do it quite right. The last thing they want to hear is their parent publicly pointing out an error. It is quite embarrassing.
One last thing some parents havent figured out. If you ever make the mistake of yelling constructive criticism to another parents kid, dont be surprised if that other kids parents starts yelling some constructive criticism right back at you. Remember, your voice is not one of the voices that other kid is tuned into anyway. Let that other kids parent make his own mistakes. Rest assured, whatever you yelled at the other kid WAS heard by YOUR kid also.
Fans and players always welcome supportive cheers in general, directed to the entire team, alike. A comment to a player that has just done something good is also welcomed by all. While the kids are on the field, PLEASE LEAVE THE COACHING TO THE COACHES. It is the only coaching your kids want to hear.
This isnt meant to be a lecture and until the last couple of years, I could have been found guilty of any number of offenses. However, after observing how being a true fan really helps a team have fun, builds individual confidence and self-esteem, I am convinced parents have a greater impact on sports than coaches.
Welcome to Little League Baseball!
We are pleased your child has chosen to participate here at Bismarck Little League. Through Little League, your child will learn how to play baseball and will experience the benefits and joys of belonging to a team.
We encourage you to be involved in Little League as you and we work together to help your son or daughter develop new skills and lifelong lessons.
The Values of Playing Baseball
We believe that your child can be helped in many ways by learning to play baseball as a member of a team. The potential benefits, however, are not guaranteed by mere participation. They are realized only when league administrator, coaches, officials, and parents work cooperatively to provide a safe and positive playing environment. When adults put the best interests of children first, and leave their own egos and concerns about winning on the bench, then young people are likely to learn positive lessons.
objectives are to help your child:
acquire an appreciation for an active lifestyle
develop a positive self-concept by mastering baseball skills
learn how to work as part of a team
develop social skills with other children and adults
learn about managing success and disappointment
learn good sportsmanship in baseball and in life
learn respect for others
Understanding Baseball
It's a quieter feeling than the crazed rowdiness of a football game, and it unfolds at a slower pace than the frenzied action of a basketball game. It's a feeling of anticipation, an emotional tension that builds in the crowd and then releases in the crack of a bat that clears the bases, and wins the game.
A baseball game has its own pace. Some are a thrill a minute, while others are a thrill an hour. Rest assured, the thrill is coming.
The beauty in baseball is in the details: the full count, the double play, the sacrifice fly. These are particular scenarios that happen in a game. They're exciting because they're opportunities for one team to leap ahead of the other team. In these crucial moments, teams make plays that can decide the outcome of the game. You may have to wait for them, but that makes it more exciting when they do happen.
Parent's Hardest Job
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As I have interacted with parents, the thing that has really struck me are the tremendous feelings of frustration and helplessness that most of them seem to be experiencing. Perhaps you experience these feelings, too, as you watch your child encounter the challenges, disappointments, and physical and psychological 'hurts' that come with playing baseball or any other sport.
The natural inclination of any parent is to protect their child. Thus, when you see an official making a bad call, or a coach cutting down on your child's playing time, or an opposing player physically or verbally attacking your child, you instinctively want to step in and 'handle it'. But what happens if you do? You are labeled a "bad sports parent." With all the media attention directed at sports parents these days, the last thing any parent wants to do is end up on the five o'clock news!
But sitting back and doing nothing doesn't feel good, either. So what's a parent to do? The first thing is to understand that the feeling of wanting to run on to the field and push the kid who just pushed your kid is a perfectly normal feeling. Having that feeling doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a normal parent. In fact, I'd be more worried about you if you didn't have that feeling.
The second thing to understand is that how you feel and how you choose to behave about something are two different things. Feelings are neither good nor bad; they just are. Behavior, on the other hand, can be bad. So what you want to do is acknowledge your feelings and then choose to act in a way that will have a positive effect on your child. And the thing that will have the greatest positive effect is to let your child handle it.
This is a parent's hardest job: to step back and let their children make mistakes, experience frustration, and even get hurt (within reason). But if you don't let your children work out that problem of reduced playing time with their coach, what are they going to do when they're 27 and their boss passes them over for a promotion? If your children know that every time they face a challenge or setback, Mom or Dad is going to step in, what message does that send to them about their own competence?
One of the greatest things about sports is that it is a laboratory for learning the kinds of things we need to know in order to be successful in life. Your job as a parent isn't to conduct the experiment; you're there to make sure no one blows up the lab. It's not easy. No one ever said it would be. But the end result will be worth it.
George A. Selleck, Ph.D. is a sports psychologist with degrees from Stanford, USC and Princeton. He has played, coached and consulted for both amateur and professional athletes . Dr. Selleck is author of "From the Bleachers with Love - Advice to Parents with Kids in Sports," and "Beyond the Bleachers - the Art of Parenting Today's Athletes." |
The Role of Parents in Little League
Bismarck Little League along with other local Little Leagues are entirely volunteer organizations. We depend on adults like you to organize and conduct every aspect. Not only do adults serve as administrators, volunteer coaches, and umpires, they also help with field maintenance, fund-raising, concessions (these are the only source of income for local Little Leagues), and numerous other special projects.
Your willingness to exchange time and effort for your child's benefit and enjoyment is very important to the functioning of your local Little League. Cheering your child on from the stands is one important way to be involved, but we invite you to do even more by volunteering to help run your Little League!
Without any doubt, Little League is a family affair that gives parents and children a common ground for spending time together. Whether you are coaching the players, selling popcorn to the fans, or bringing soda for the team after the game, your family will enjoy being part of Little League in your community. MOST of ALL, your child will appreciate the benefits of your enthusiasm and involvement in his or her activities. I know mine do and as President of Bismarck Little League, I see it from the children whose parents participate in their involvement!
Understanding yourself
Are you able to keep winning in perspective? You might answer with a confident yes, but will you be able to do so when it is your child who is winning or losing, when your child is treated a bit roughly by someone on the other team, or when the umpire makes a judgement call against your child? Parents are sometimes unprepared for the powerful emotions they experience when watching their child compete.
One reason that parents' emotions run so high is that they want their children to do well;it reflects on them. They also may may believe that their children's failures are their own. Parents need to realize that the dreams of glory they have for their youngsters are not completely unselfish, but they are completely human.
Being a Model of Good Sportsmanship
Flying off the handle at games or straining relations with the coach or other parents creates a difficult situation for your child. Just as you don't want your child to embarrass you, don't embarrass your Little Leaguer.
It's no secret that kids imitate their parents. In addition, they absorb the attitudes they think lie behind their parents actions. As you go through the Little League season with your child, be a positive role model. How can you expect your child to develop a healthy perspective about competing and winning if you display an unhealthy one?
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive
If children live with encouragement, they learn to confident
If children live with praise, they learn to be appreciative
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves
If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal
If children live with honesty, they learn what trust is
From "Great Projects Report," Baltimore Bulletin of Education
To learn more about Little League and the programs it has to offer, write or call:
Little League Baseball Incorporated
P.O. Box 3485; Williamsport, PA 17701
(717) 326-1921
Thoughts to Ponder
Letter from a Little Leaguer's Dad
Hi. My name is Keith. For the past several years my son has played in several youth sports, most prominently baseball, from Little League to high school. I have had the opportunity to watch parents, coaches, and athletes interact to become teams. Most of these interactions have been positive, but I have occasionally noticed areas in which parents can really help to make the athletic experience a positive learning experience for their kids.
So, I would like to share some thoughts with you, too. I honestly believe that these ideas will help to make sports more fun for your children, more enjoyable for you, and a heck of a lot easier on those people who volunteer their time and skills. Hope they can help!!
Work with your child. There really is little more satisfying than going out at least a few evenings a week and playing ball with your kids. This gives quality time, and helps your child improve his/her skills (and, trust me, the better your child can play, the more she/he will enjoy the Little League experience!). Some day, your child will look back on the summer evenings spent playing catch with mom and dad.
Get involved in your local league. Most leagues are run on a volunteer basis, and they can use all the help they can get. Anything you can do to pitch in will make the league run more smoothly, and will help all the kids -- from helping out at tryouts, to scorekeeping or field preparation, to umpiring. If your son or daughter sees that their league is that important to you, he/she will learn that it is important to the kids, too. For years I have helped out by field prep, scorekeeping, and umpiring; in addition to making it a satisfying experience for me, I'm able to share in something that's very important to my son. And, the leagues provide all of the training anyone needs. Some people worry that they are not qualified--I say if you make a mistake, you can offer to give back the money you earned that day (remember--it's volunteer work!!). Besides, even coaches and players make mistakes...the point is to learn and to have fun, and to teach kids that you care!!!
As parents, we've learned to be patient with our kids. Be patient with their coaches, too. Different coaches have different philosophies. Some believe in having players play all positions, some want players to become good at one. Some coaches place more emphasis on winning, and some place all emphasis on learning. Each coach is different, and last year's coach probably did things differently than this year's coach will. It is IMPORTANT to remember that your child's coach is not being paid; he or she is working for the love of the game and the kids. Let them be the coach! Don't argue and criticize if you think your child is being treated unfairly (as parents, it is natural to be very protective, but most coaches aren't discriminating). If you think there is a problem, discuss it calmly with the coach AWAY from the ball field; chances are that you will see his point of view. The important thing is not to make an issue in front of the players; along with baseball, they are learning to work as a team and to respect authority and experience...work not to ruin this teaching.
For heaven's sake, show up for the games AND the practices. In today's busy world it is sometimes hard to juggle schedules, but this is your child! I cannot begin to tell stories of kids I've seen who never tried to excel at baseball, and invariably these kids were dropped off at practices and picked up afterwards, without the parent(s) ever watching a single practice. It's only a couple of times a week, a couple of months out of the year! The most irritating are the parents who don't ever watch practice (and, therefore, never understand the caches' philosophy), but will question (yell!) at a coach's decision during the game. Most people wouldn't dare to not show up for work and still tell the boss what's wrong with the company, but they will turn around and do just that with their childs' coach.
Respect the rules! This is what the kids should be learning. If you don't agree with an umpire's call, keep it to yourself. If there is a team rule that bothers you, well, its their team...not yours. If you think there is a serious problem, take it up with the coach or a league official on your own time, not your child's. Rule of thumb: during practice or games, don't speak unless spoken to (except, of course, to cheer on ALL the kids). This is not to say that you can't have a fan's opinion, or try to stick up for your kids; just realize that if you yell at an umpire in an unsportsmanlike way, kids will be watching, listening, and learning. If you must make a comment, try to keep it polite, upbeat, and humorous.
Don't create pressure. Just about every father dreams of his son becoming a major league star, but they are only children. Don't expect more than they can deliver. Give positive encouragement, and be there when they need you. Besides, often a child in early years will lack certain skills, and blossom later on. Don't fight nature, or the kids. The one thing that will make me cringe the most, at a game, is to see a player strike out, or make a mistake, only to have a parent up in the stands yelling at him/her. Praising them for their effort, even in failure, will go a lot farther, and make the drive home much more pleasant.
Ice Cream!!! No one likes to lose, but the nature of a team sport is that one team will always lose. Teach your child that he/she didn't lose, the team lost. And they lost to a team that just happened to play better that day. There is always next time, and the important thing is to learn from the defeats. It's okay to analyze why someone lost, and how he or she can do better next time. It's never okay to place blame! Then, go out and have an ice cream cone.
I can't stress this enough: VOLUNTEER...they need you. One of the biggest irritants I see is those who will not give their time, but are quick to criticize. If you can't be part of the solution, don't be part of the problem. If you think that something needs to be changed, get involved so that you can change it.
(This suggestion is from a manager) One of the most frustrating things for a manager is to have a parent come up after the season and say,"great season, but you kept doing something that bothered me." A manager/coach cannot change problems if they don't know the problems exist. Most managers/coaches welcome input.
Let your child solve it himself
Don't rescue your child. When you offer advice, you deny your child a chance to work out problems themselves. Allowing him to solve the problem on his own will build his self esteem.
Do give positive feedback
Your goal is to encourage communication. Remember to praise the effort, not criticize any areas that are lacking. Nothing stops a conversation so completely as criticism.
Praise progress.
There will always be someone better; more accomplished, more talented than you or your child. Make your child proud of what he's accomplished, not focused on how well others are doing in his class. Comparing may only weaken your child's self esteem.
Remember that your child's feelings are important.
Allow your child to confide in you, even if you think his concern is insignificant. On the flip side, avoid making mountains from molehills because that too may erode your child's self confidence.
Listen!
No matter how trivial or overwhelming their problem appears to you, listen to your child and respect how he or she sees things.
Your child will be more comfortable confiding in you. Make the time to understand. We are all learning how to express ourselves and sometimes just talking about it will make your child feel better.
Offer encouragement.
Encourage your child to ask his or her coach/instructor for assistance. Extra attention from an instructor can "nip frustration in the bud."
Encourage your child to practice at home. Offer to watch if that's what he wants, but also respect his desire to work it out alone in the privacy of his own room, garage, back yard, etc.. Be available, but don't insist on being with him every moment.
"Bringing Parents Up to Code"
BY Rick Reilly Sports Illustrated Columnist
There is only one place in the universe where kids sports is sane. Jupiter.
Jupiter Fla., that is, where on Feb. 15, the town's athletic association did something we should've done in America 20 years ago. It took the parents out behind the woodshed. If you wanted your kid to play on one of the Jupiter association's zillion teams this year, you had to file into a minor league baseball stadium, watch a video on sportsmanship and then vow not to insult, cuss at, holler at, spit upon, push, punch, body-slam or otherwise abuse a coach, referee, team mom, scorekeeper, fan, player or another parent. You think it doesnt happen? In Port St. Lucie, Florida, a youth soccer coach head-butted a referee, breaking the refs nose. In Wagoner, Oklahoma, a 36-year-old coach started choking a 15-year-old umpire in a tee-ball game for 5- and 6-year-olds. In Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, a baseball game for 7- and 8-year-olds ended in a parents brawl. In Boca Raton, Florida, one of the managers in a baseball game for 9- and 10-year-olds mooned the opponents parents. And you thought pro sports was mayhem.
Jupiter parents had to sign the code of ethics, which included such pledges as I will remember that the game is for youths not adults and I will do my very best to make youth sports fun for my child. Break the code and they're banished from the association's games for as much as a year. Problem was, that code didn't go nearly far enough. As a poor slob who has coached kids' sports for 10 years and gone to more kids' games than Mr. and Mrs. Osmond combined, I would've made the parents sign thisin blood:
I'll keep in mind that, in case I hadn't noticed, my kid isn't related to the Griffeys. There's probably no college scholarship on the line, to say nothing of a $116.5 million guaranteed contract with the Cincinnati Reds. In fact, right now my kid is filling the inside of his baseball glove with ants. He looks happy. I'll shut up.
I won't dump my kid out of the Lexus 20 minutes late to practice and then honk the horn when I pick him up 20 minutes early, as though the coach is some kind of hourly nanny service. If my kid has to miss a game, I'll call the day before. It doesn't cost any more to be decent.
I'll remember that this isn't the seventh game of the NBA Finals. This is the 6-year-olds' YMCA Lil' Celtics finals, and by supper time not one of these kids will remember the score. They will remember that I tried to ride the other coach bareback, and possibly they'll remember the incident in the squad car, but not the score.
I'll realize that the guy behind the umpire's mask, whom I've been calling "Jose Feliciano" and "Coco, the talking ape," is probably just a 15-year-old kid with a tube of Oxy 10 in his pocket, making $12 the hard way. I'll shut up. I'll stop harrumphing out of the side of my mouth about how much the coach stinks, unless I want to give up my Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays every week, call 15 kids every time it rains and spend $200 every season on ice cream, catchers throat guards and new seat covers. Ill shut up. (Oh, and once a year, Ill tell her thanks.)
I wont rupture my larynx hollering non-stop directions. For one thing, my kid cant hear me. For two, because Im shouting, he cant hear the coach, either. For three, I really have no idea what Im talking about. Screaming at little Justin to "Tag up! Tag up!" when there are two outs is probably not very helpful. I'll shut up.
Win or lose, I won't make the ride home the worst 20 minutes in my kid's life. "You played great" should about cover it every time. Then I'll shut up.
One season a year, even if it kills me, I won't make my kid sign up for an organized sport. It's probably not necessary to have him play 91 hockey games in three leagues from September to June and then send him to Skating Camp, Slap Shot Camp and Orange Pylon Camp all summer. I'll try to remember that Be a Kid Camp isn't so terrible once in a while. Neither is Invent a Game Involving a Taped Sock, a Broom and Old Lady Winslow's Fence Camp, come to think of it.
Most important, I promise I'll do everything in my power, no matter what, to remember to arrive at games with the single most important thing of all... the orange slices.
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