When Emotions Run High, Logic, Sometimes, Runs Low.

There are absolutely no shortcuts to success.

Many former, and veteran parents of our program have been asked to share their thoughts on various topics throughout their time with our AAU Program.

History tends to repeat itself, in life, as well as in basketball.

My hope is that you, as a current Stealers' Parent, or as an outsider from another AAU Program, will read, learn, and understand that some of the situations you have been through or are going through are not that unique.

Our program has seen a lot of things that start off as a negative, but have turned around into a positive.

I think hearing it from a fellow parent can help, as you move through these AAU Years.

Patience, trust, and a drive have helped many of the folks who have sent me stories through some, perceived, early tough times.

I hope you enjoy the stories as they come in.

Yours for Better Basketball,

Coach Robinson

I wanted to share my thoughts on my friend Mazie Black and her daughter Chante'.  Yes, Chante' was a great Stealers' Basketball Player; probably the best to ever where our program's uniform. However, in my mind, she probably is one of the best people and they are one of the best families to come through the Winston-Salem Stealers  - ever.

Never has a player been so highly sought after by the big, major Division I colleges (Connecticut, Tennessee, Duke, UNC, etc...) in our program, and never has a player been asked to leave the Winston-Salem Stealers by so many self-proclaimed "All-Star" A.A.U. / Club / Travel Teams as Chante'.  I was there to witness most all of her career with the program and to see all of the outside influences that tried to take her away.

My dealings with Chante' and her mom began in 1999, a year after she started playing with the Stealers. Here was a girl that could run and jump and was already 6'2" at age thirteen. Chante' was a budding superstar in an A.A.U. Program that was steadily growing.  Yet, I watched as she made the young girls in our program feel as welcome, important and loved as the older kids and never looked down on them or anyone.

As Chante' moved into high school, many of the "All-Star" programs around the country began calling her mom telling her that the Winston-Salem Stealers couldn't do what their program could do for her daughter. These club coaches had contracts with all of the big shoe companies and told Mazie that Chante' would never become a McDonald's All-American, or go to a big-time college or even play professionally if she stayed with the Winston-Salem Stealers. 

Looking back, how in the world could the program stop her, or match what others were offering her?  I remember asking Mazie why she didn't jump at the offers and her exact words were "Brian has been treated everyone in this program equally, and not given Chante' or me any special treatment just because she may have a gift. "I owe it to Brian and the program for helping Chante' grow into the person and player she is today (age 15) and we are not leaving."  You know.... people say things like that all of the time, and at the time, I was thinking that they probably were saying that for now, but as soon as something too good to turn down came along, they were out.... yet, that day never came.

Not only did Chante' stick around, but she ended up, in my mind, being, outside of Brian of course, why the program has the great reputation it has today.  Chante', as I mentioned, helped the younger kids. Chante' was in the heat of an incredible recruiting battle among colleges.  Every major school in America wanted Chante' and yet, here she is playing in Oregon and Atlanta for the Winston-Salem Stealers with eighth and seventh and ninth graders.  Chante' was getting ready to head into her senior year, and she was more focused on helping our program's next set of superstars get better as opposed to worrying about her own personal gain.  Chante' helped kids like Katheryn Lyons, Brittany Strachan, and LaShaunda Pratt become comfortable playing in college exposure events and I remember Brian telling those three young kids to never forget how they felt playing with older kids.  I later watched how those three helped out the next set of younger kids on their future travel teams grow and too become comfortable in those events in a hope that they too would pass that down. 

It was that selflessness that I remember about Chante' and her mom. A funny story about the two took place in Atlanta at the Suwanee Sports Complex. We were playing with our group of Chante' and the young kids against a team with a coach that had been calling her house on a non-stop basis for a year.  That coach was one of the self-proclamed "All-Star" club coaches that promised Chante' the world and had bashed our program. That coach had a team that had ten future DI College Basketball Players on it, all of whom were going into their senior year like Chante'.  However, they didn't play well together as they were all about themselves, and our "rag-tag" team was hanging with them. With three minutes left, the "All-Star" club received three straight technical fouls because they were embarrassed and frustrated that our team was close on the scoreboard while all of the hordes of college coaches watched in amazement.  Chante' shot and made six straight free throws and we went up by four; with fifteen seconds left we found ourselves up by seven and had the ball.  Mazie, who was a quiet fan, stood up and yelled over to the "All-Star" Coach "Hey, don't ever call my house again!", while making a phone calling motion with her hand to her ear.  That was the day I thought everything Brian had built the program on had come full circle: being patient, being honest, being confident and being prepared. Chante' exemplifies all that a leader, albeit a quiet leader, is: She goes out, no matter who is on her team, and plays believing that she can make those around her better; as opposed to those who follow, who probably wouldn't play, or use her team's age as an excuse or maybe waiting around to see first who was on the team before deciding whether to play or not. The latter is a follower, the former is a leader and Chante' was a leader.

Brian always said that he won't join any shoe company nor make promises to kids or their parents to have them come to his program or stay in his program.  Chante' Black was no exception. Chante' was and forever will be a Winston-Salem Stealer Player, and she will always be fondly remembered by me not because of the player she was, but the values she represented.  Chante' and her mom understood the value of loyalty to the program who helped them out from day one; they understood that it doesn't take a fast-talker or fancy uniforms to make a great player or program. The Winston-Salem Stealers have substance and Chante' knows she has a support group to this day. Brian doesn't believe in microwave basketball. He believes in developing the total kid, not just on the court, but off of it and he wasn't going to compromise that to keep any kid in the program.

Chante' went against the "establishment" / the "system" of the nation of girl's basketball and became our program's first McDonald's All-American, our first Women's Basketball Coaches Association's (WBCA) All-American, our program's first U.S.A. Basketball Invitee and received a scholarship to play at Duke where she had a tremendous career.  Now, she has become our program's first W.N.B.A. Player! 

Chante' and Mazie's ability to put their relationship with Brian and the members in our program over the "glitter" of "superstar" teams makes them rare and makes them special in my mind. I would hope that if the Winston-Salem Stealers were good enough for her and many other great players that come through this program, that it should be good enough for those of you with young daughters coming through the Stealers right now reading this and other stories on this page.

Some may call Chante' the greatest Winston-Salem Stealers Player ever, and it is hard to argue with them, but I say she may be the greatest person to come through here for not chasing all of the outside promises and staying with the program when nothing at all was promised to her except that the program would give her the necessary insulation and support to try to make all of her dreams come true. 

Sheila Lyons' Daughter, Katheryn, has graduated from the Stealers' Program.  Katheryn began playing with us in 1999, and has been through many ups and downs since that 10 year old season.  Sheila wanted to share with the current and future parents how Katheryn managed to reach a goal that every player wants when they start playing basketball - receiving a scholarship to a Major Division I College Basketball Program.   Sheila talks about the many life lessons she learned as a parent in her eight years as an AAU Parent, and hopes that you, the parent, can take some thing positive from this for your daughter:

"Katheryn was a soccer player at the age of 8.  She played YMCA Basketball at that same age, but nothing as competitive as AAU.  At age 10, we found about the Winston-Salem Stealers and tried to get on their team.  I called to inquire, however, tryouts had passed, and it looked as if Katheryn would have to wait a year.  Then, Brian (Coach Robinson) called back saying that two girls had quit to go play with another program, and Katheryn could come out and see if she liked it.  Coach Robinson liked her determination & felt she had some talent, so he gave her an opportunity to stay with the team. Fate was on our side".  

"Katheryn scored 18 points in her first game and was hooked.  The 1st year for us as parents was a learning curve.  Everytime she fell down or got hurt she cried.  Coach Robinson would say "get up, because if I have to come out on the floor to get you, you have to come out of the game".  She'd look at him, get up, and give him the same look she still gives him today.  By the time we reached Orlando for the DII Nationals  (called NIC back then), she had stopped crying and was now fighting through the bumps and bruises.  Lesson #1 - Don't interfere with the coaching. It was extremely difficult for me to sit there and watch my baby cry and get hurt.  Our first instinct was to run & protect.  Coach Robinson explained that if we gave her time she would either toughen up or quit.  We trusted his judgement and watched from afar. The team finished 3rd at the DII's and that was all she needed to motivate her.   Katheryn began talking to Coach every chance she got. She wanted to know what she could do to get better.  She went to his high school basketball games and watched him coach.  Coach introduced Katheryn to one of his former players, Rachel Stockdale, who played at North Carolina State.  Katheryn started to watch Rachel play, and learned a lot from her.  Rachel was so kind to her and would shoot around with her and visit with her. Today, that is a big reason why Katheryn now gives of her time to the younger players. She wanted to extend the same kindness that was shown to her when she was younger".

 (Katheryn Shooting Free Throw at 10-and-under NIC's In Orlando.)


 (Katheryn with Rachel in 2001.)      

"When the 11-and-under Season started, the team acquired more talent and qualified for the DI Nationals in West Lafayette, Indiana.  The team finished 17th overall, and it was here where Katheryn began setting goals.  AAU Nationals used to require athletes to attend "The Complete Athlete" Seminar.  The speaker told the girls the odds of becoming a DI College Player, and what it would take to beat those odds.  Katheryn was 4'10" at the time, and decided that she had to work harder than everyone around her to be a DI College Player. She quit soccer that fall".

"At the 12s age, her team from the past year split.  Most of the team stayed down to play on their own age, but Katheryn had to move up because of her birthdate. She was in the same grade, but AAU Rules wouldn't allow her to play with those in her grade. One of the girls who moved down was the team's point guard.  Katheryn was a shooting guard on the 10 and 11 Teams, and Coach told her that she was going to be the point guard.  Katheryn didn't want to have that role as first, but Coach explained how it would only make her better in the long run.  Lesson #2 - Don't dictate a position for your child at an early age because you never know what they are capable of.  We didn't qualify for the DI Nationals that year, and Coach allowed Katheryn to play with another team who did.  That team went to Connecticut for the DI Nationals. That team talked about all the great things they could do for Katheryn.  Katheryn's playing time was minimal. Parents were dictating to the coach who should play and who shouldn't. Katheryn was angry and wanted to leave. She called Coach Robinson who told her that she made a committment and had to stay. As parents, we were spending a lot of money and we were confused. It wasn't easy watching her sit, but we realized that nothing was going to change.  After talking to Coach Robinson a few more times, Katheryn settled down and became a supporter from the bench. She left that tournament more determined than ever that she would make herself so good that no one could afford to leave her on the bench again".  Lesson #3 - Parents, please do your homework on other coaches / programs promising your kids the world, and heaping praise on your child.

"When we got home, Coach Robinson tried to get her going again, by inviting her to a college recruiting event. We were very apprehensive... a 5'0" twelve year old playing with, and against, some of the best 16 & 17 year old basketball players in the country?  We went to Atlanta trusting that he was doing the right thing for her.  Katheryn was playing with Chante' Black, who currently plays at Duke. Every school in the country was recruiting Chante' and at every game we played, the walls were lined up with a "Who's Who" of coaching.  I was in awe, but it didn't seem to phase Katheryn.  She had no idea what this "showcase" was, she was just playing basketball.  Lesson #4 - Don't hold your daughter back for fear of failure; they will have to fail in order to succeed.  It was here where Joanna Bernabei, an assistant coach at West Virginia, first saw Katheryn play.  I didn't know at the time, but Katheryn was playing against some of the top guards in the country. Coach Bernabei, who came to the game, as everyone else did, to watch Chante' play was amazed that this 12 year old was holding her own in this type of atmosphere.  Coach Bernabei talked to Coach Robinson afterwards and said she was going to follow Katheryn through the next couple of years, seeing if she would continue to develop and improve.

Her 13-and-under Season almost didn't happen. The team was beginning to lose focus and discipline.  Katheryn was now being recruited by other programs, because they could see some potential.  She had a taste of playing with the older girls, and didn't want to play with her team anymore.  Coach made her stay with her team, and told her that it was the best thing for her at the time. She could've been a part of a strong team with the older girls, but Coach said developing is much more important than winning right now.  He wanted her to get better as a leader, and the best way to lead was to make the others around her better than they actually were. He also wanted her to get better mentally, so she could think as a coach would think, and make the proper decisions that a point guard (or on the court coach) would have to do to be successful.  The team made DII Nationals, and again, made the trip to Orlando. It was here where she scored 40 points in one game, and set the record for the most points in one game at both the DI & DII Nationals.  We came in 3rd at the DIIs, and the next day we flew to Washington, DC to play at another college recruiting event, held at the University of Maryland and the surrounding area.  Katheryn's team played their last three games on the University of Maryland's Campus. In the final game, she played against a senior point guard that signed with Kansas State with the new Maryland Head Coach, Brenda Frese, watching from the court next to ours. She held her own, and left with a good feeling about her season. That 40 point game in Orlando got the attention of Nike, who invited her to an elite camp that fall in South Carolina. She was the only 8th grader at the event.  Once again, because of her age, the coach of her showcase team didn't play her a lot. Little did I realize that even though her AAU Team was not at the level of other teams in our program or across the AAU Landscape, Katheryn was starting to place herself at a level that was going to payoff in the future.  Lesson #5 - Don't let your daughter quit when there's adversity; tell your daughter to fight hard for her playing time when they are younger, on their own. Until you prove yourself, folks won't respect you.  Place the need to develop your daughter in all aspects of her game, mentally and physically, in front of your desire as a parent to want to win, at an early age. Don't pass up an opportunity to attend an event, as you will learn something every time. 

"At 14, Katheryn's team was content on going back to the DII Nationals, but Katheryn was not.  Some girls began to realize that a scholarship may not be in their future, and you begin to see some commitment levels drop, and other interests start taking over.  Coach Robinson was not into "settling" or being mediocre if you could be better, so he didn't take the team to the DIIs. He, first, invited Katheryn to play with an older team in Oregon to play in front of college recruiters. He felt like this opportunity would help the entire program in the future, as he had some talented players on his younger teams, especially the group who had split at Katheryn's 12-and-under year. Playing in Oregon with Chante' again, and others, was what she needed.  The college coaches came in droves to our games, and from that point on, wherever one of the Stealers' Teams played in the upcoming years, they came out.  He let Katheryn go again with another team to the DI Nationals in Clarksville, Tennessee.  The college scouts were everywhere, and Katheryn had a solid first four games. The coach of her pickup team didn't start her, but played her almost the entire game. However, again, the parental influence on this team began to rear its' ugly head, upset that she was playing so much, even though the team was winning.  The coach was frustrated, and was at a crossroads - play Katheryn or play the other girls. At the next game, he then yelled at Katheryn for another player's mistake, where the entire gym could see it happening, and Katheryn became confused and wanted to leave, but went to the bench and stayed humbled.  She called Coach Robinson and, again, he told her to stay.  He told her to talk to the coach, and see why he went off on her like that.  Katheryn, not me, approached the coach and he told her the truth about being under pressure from "his" parents, and how he wanted her to stay.  She did, and when the point guard went down with a concussion the next game, she had to play.  Katheryn played like nothing had happened between her and the coach (from that point, the two have maintained a good, respectful relationship to this day), and the team won again to place in the Top Ten.  The strength of character and resolve impressed even the complaining parents and after that, no one said a word.  The college coaches were so impressed on the way she handled herself and Coach Robinson's phone began ringing for Katheryn".  Lesson #6 - Support your child, but let them fight their battles.

"The 15-and-under Season was a trying one as well. Katheryn was questioning her ability after she had a scoreless performance in a high school playoff loss to end the season.  A few games into the AAU Season, the team was better, but she was not playing well.  She had trouble with her ankles, and was battling mononucleosis.  She was healthy enough to play some at the State Tournament, and her team made the DI Nationals. In between, Katheryn was invited to play at the Adidas Top Ten Camp, an honor that Coach Robinson told her that she couldn't pass up.  She played well, and received a lot of interest from college coaches at this event as well.  She made an all-star team at the end of the season, but again, she had to prove herself all over again.  She was not the fastest, tallest, or most athletic player on the team and didn't play a lot. She began questioning herself...again, but now was starting to understand herself".  Lessons # 7 & #8 - As a parent, let the child decide if she wants to play or not, it's their life, and welcome to the real world of basketball... you have to keep proving yourself over and over.

"We joined the 292 Program to help get some idea on how to best manage her college recruitment. Yes, Katheryn probably would have received a scholarship to play at a good school without 292, but with this program, I was able to get so much more feedback and information that helped open doors that I would have never known was there for my child. Coach Robinson encouraged Katheryn to visit as many schools as possible, regardless of size. By September of her sophomore year, Katheryn had received half a dozen college scholarship offers.  Six months earlier, she was in the dumps, ready to quit, because she was hurt, sick, and not playing well. Now, she was back happy and on top of the world. In October, the assistant coach at Maryland asked Coach Robinson if Katheryn would like to attend their recruiting day.  That assistant coach? Joanna Bernabei, who had left West Virginia two years ago. Coach Bernabei kept an eye on Katheryn from that showcase she attended at the age of 12, and wanted to start recruiting her. Katheryn and I went, first visiting the University of Maryland-Baltimore County on Friday and then Maryland on Saturday. Katheryn and Brenda Frese, Maryland's Head Coach, hit it off, and Katheryn didn't want to leave. On the way home, she said "This is where I want to go to school".  I told her that Maryland might be a stretch, but if she really kept working, it could happen".  Lesson #9 - Visit as many colleges as you can early on. You can develop relationships and begin to learn what they truly are about.

"Katheryn, as she had been for the past 3-4 years, was still being heavily criticized for her ability.  Her critics thought that she was wasting her time visiting schools, and there was no way she was going to play in the ACC or any other Major DI Conference. However, Coach Frese made the trip to Kernersville to watch her play during her 10th grade year, and asked Coach Robinson if Katheryn could make another trip to Maryland. She told Coach Robinson that not too many HEAD College Coaches take trips to watch 10th Graders Play in December.   When we returned to their campus later in December, Coach Frese officially offered her a scholarship.  This validated everything that Coach Robinson had been telling her from the time she was 10.  The countless hours of working in and out of practice, all of the drills. The countless times he corrected her "look" on her face, and adjusted her attitude. The countless times he told her that things happen for a reason, and something good always follows adversity". 

"We went over every pro and con with Coach Robinson about committing early, we looked at where Maryland was heading as a program, and Katheryn knew in her heart that this is where she wanted to be".  Lesson #10 - as a parent, do your research, get help from the people in the know and let your child follow her heart.

"Katheryn committed to Maryland in January of 2005.  Coach Frese impressed upon Katheryn that this was an early offer and that there was no rush. She wanted Katheryn on her team, as a point guard and as a shooting guard, but understood that this was a big committment for her to make.  Katheryn was the youngest player ever to be offered by Coach Frese, at the time".

"Katheryn's 16 and under team was fun.  We traveled with the 292 Team to Chicago and Nebraska, and she was selected to play with another all-star team.  Some things, however, never change.  Even though she had committed to Maryland, her playing time on that all-star team was minimal.  She didn't care this time around.  She fulfilled her committment to the team, and cheered from the bench, realizing that no matter how well she played, there would always be people who would never respect her game.  From then on the only person she had to answer to was herself, as long as she had done everything to make herself better".  Lesson #11 - as a parent, help your child believe in herself and ignore the doubters.

"In November of this past year (2006), Katheryn signed her national letter of intent to play at Maryland.  Even then, there were those who said "Yeah, she's going to Maryland, but she'll never play".  It doens't matter if her playing time is limited. The fact is, she is going to a Top 10-20 Team in the Country to play women's basketball. Whether she plays a lot or not as a freshman is irrelevant. The fact is that Katheryn has worked for 8 years and set her goals early in order to put herself in position to be able to play for the one of the best team's in the country.  An opportunity few are privileged to ever experience.  She didn't have to worry about where she was going to school, if anyone was going to start recruiting her, or if she had done enough today to catch someone's attention later on.   She is, instead, worked on the things Maryland wanted her to work on so she can be in the best light possible when she gets there.  If anyone noticed, age isn't a factor at Maryland, their starting line-up had no seniors in 2005".  Lesson #12 - enjoy each and every moment for you never know what tomorrow will bring.

"Katheryn proves that you don't have to be the most athletic, the tallest, or the fastest player to reach a goal.  You have to have a drive, and you have to attach yourself with someone who can take you there.  As a parent, you and your pride have to step aside, you have to let your daughter work through her troubles, and when you find someone that can help her reach her goal, don't take your child away from them.  Hopefully, in 2007, Katheryn will realize her dream and step onto the court at the Comcast Center on the University of Maryland and play the game she dearly loves".

Sheila Lyons - "Straight From The Parent's Mouth" - May 12, 2006.

 (Katheryn guarding Diana Turasi is her first exhibition game at Maryland.)

"Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail for others to follow". - Ralph Waldo Emerson

                                                                                                                                                           I feel like I have been educated beyond my wildest dreams when it comes to AAU, dealing with injuries, and college recruiting.  I remember how we got started with AAU.  Jen and Lauren’s good friend from cheerleading had a brother who played AAU and I began to wonder about AAU for girls. The girls had been playing at a local community center, but seemed as if they wanted to pursue basketball to the next level. I researched AAU on the internet and found the email address for the main North Carolina office in Greensboro. I sent an email to the office asking for a team in the Winston-Salem area. I was sent the email address to Coach Robinson (Coach "R"). I contacted him and he said the try outs were three days later. The first day of tryouts was a nervous day for Jennifer. I’ll never forget it. She was the only player to show up wearing cheerleading shorts and everyone noticed. To this day, they still tease her. The tryouts were held in the very small gym at the central YWCA.  Jennifer and Lauren tried out the same weekend, but for different teams. When Jennifer walked into the gym, everyone, including the parents, looked at Jennifer and was amazed at how tall she was. It was as if the other players had never seen a female basketball player that tall. As parents, I can’t tell you how nervous we were for Jennifer and Lauren. Randy and I were so worried that one would make it and the other wouldn’t. We were trying to figure out what we would say and how we would say it. The common reason would be that it just wasn’t your time. Finally, we found out that both girls had made a team. Jen had made the 11u Stealers team and it was going to be a pretty good team with Coach R and Deana Smart as coaches. This was a time when Coach R coached all of his teams. It was an exciting time for all of us.

Making a team was one thing, but progressing and getting playing time was another. This part was a struggle at times. The team struggled at first. Sometimes, her team couldn’t win a game if their lives depended on it. We would ask Coach R about it and he would just tell us to give it time, they would figure it all out. Meanwhile, Jennifer wasn’t always the most coordinated player around.  As several people told her in the past, when she ran down the court, she ran like a girl. And to be honest, she did. I remember every time they would run “vegas”  in order to break the press, she had her troubles. She knew the play and all she had to do was stand in the middle of the court, catch the ball, turn, and throw it to the opposite side. Easy, right? Not for Jen, every time she would catch the ball and turn, she would travel and cause a turnover. Everybody knew it was coming, but Brian and Deana had a lot of patience. They knew she would eventually get it. Even the other parents were patient with her. It’s so easy to get frustrated with other players on a team, but it’s so important not to let it show. It’s also hard not to get frustrated with the coach. You have to realize that the coach is qualified to coach and knows what is best for your daughter. There were plenty of times that Randy and I would get frustrated, but we could still see improvement in Jen. As parents, you have to realize that it’s not about you, it’s about your child. Sometimes when Jen made a mistake in the game, she would immediately be taken out. It was hard to deal with that as parents. You want them to be successful. She always played second string until Nationals at Kingsport, Tn. She had been playing for two years with the Stealers. Her team had become a good team. They started on a run and won several games at Nationals. This was when they realized how good they could become. At the end of the tournament, Coach R took Jen aside and told her that she had turned the corner to becoming a good player. Jen will never forget this. It was at that moment that Jen had figured it out. She figured out her role, her position, and began to play with confidence. Confidence makes a big difference in a player. During this AAU season, Jen also took agility classes which would work with her speed, coordination, and core muscles with exercises and weights. I think these classes increased her coordination and as a result increased her strength and confidence.

At the 13u Nationals, the following year, we began to see college recruiting coaches come out to watch the players. Sometimes they were not looking at our players, but there were a few looking at the other teams. It was at this time, I believe, that Coach R started the 292 program. Jen and Lauren were some of his first clients. He saw a move toward recruiting showcase tournaments for the girls. He saw that the college coaches were moving away from AAU Nationals and going to see several of the best teams around in one location, at a recruiting showcase tournament. I believe in what the 292 program can do for you and what it can offer. The connection that Coach R has with all of the women’s basketball programs is amazing. We started out early using these connections as a way to watch other coaches and to see other programs. To date, we have seen approximately 30 programs all over the southeast. On most occasions, Coach R helped with setting these up. The 292 program is a service that you purchase. It is an advisory program that a player can use to get to the next level. Coach R is not an agent, but a service.  The 292 program offers knowledge about how to show yourself to the coaches, how to establish a relationship with coaches, knowledge on going to watch other coaches and programs, and  knowledge on how to make yourself better. When we first started playing in the showcase tournaments, it was hard. We were playing very good teams, losing just about every time, and sometimes not having any coaches coming to the games. But what did happen is that we were put in the best position possible to be seen by as many coaches as possible.

Getting recruited and showcasing is an interesting business. There are so many rules with the NCAA that sometimes, it’s hard to keep track of them all. College coaches will start out keeping a name on a list of possibly over 100 players just in order to maintain contact with players from a particular class that could possibly fit their program. They usually maintain these contacts using general correspondence saying that they have seen you play and that you look like you could fit into their program. Those are great letters and it is important to receive them. It allows you to feel that you are doing the right thing. Jen received a lot of letters, but one thing that we learned was that the letters counted the most when they were received in the Junior and Senior recruiting seasons. These letters showed the schools that were really interested. And of all of the letters, she never received a letter from the school that she will actually be playing at, the US Naval Academy. As parents and players, you have to keep everything in perspective. The most important thing is to play hard. A good player shows the things that they know how to do with confidence. One thing you don’t want to do is to go out on the court and try to make moves that you can’t do with confidence. The coach also likes what they see off of the court as well. They look at the parents and how they interact with the player, they look at the player to see how they interact with their coaches and teammates, and they look to see how the player responds to causing a turnover or making a bad pass. They look at so many things. The Naval Academy coach said that she watched Jen a lot off of the court and how she carried herself. She also watched Randy and I and how we showed support for her and her team. Then she saw that Jen would be very coachable. We certainly have learned a lot getting Jen recruited.

The spring/summer after Jen’s sophomore year was extremely tough. She faced adversity for the entire summer. During the first weekend after school ended, Jen was at Carolina elite camp. We had a jam packed summer planned with elite camps, team camps, and showcases. All of these plans changed in an instant. When she got hurt, she went down on the court, but was able to walk off on her own. The trainers at Carolina thought it was it was a hyper extended knee. They told her to put ice on it and she could get back on the court after a couple of hours. She went back out, went up to block a shot and fell again. Again, she walked off on her own. The next day I was out of town and Randy had business meetings so she packed up her car by herself and drove home on her own. Everyone that she talked to thought that she was fine. The next day, she went to the doctor and her life changed. She was so distraught over everything. When this happened, the first thing she thought of was that her basketball career was over. It was her the summer of her before her junior year and she knew that it wasn’t good to be out. But, Coach R was a big help during this time. He reassured us that it was okay and that we should try to go to as many tournaments as possible. He told us that the coaches look at other things when you can’t get out on the court. They look at the all around players i.e. attitude, team support, and how you act when you can’t play.  Getting hurt was really devastating, but Jen learned a lot about herself. She realized that nothing was the end if you don’t want it to be. Coming back from an injury took dedication and commitment. Occasionally, just like any other teenager, she would give reasons why she didn’t want to work. My part was easy. All I had to say was that every day that she didn’t work out or do physical therapy, was one more day that she couldn’t get back on the court. That was all of the incentive she needed. Right after surgery, she was going to the YMCA every day. This was in addition to the prescribed physical therapy. She would start by riding the bike a lot. After riding the stationary bike, she would lift weights. This was her workout every day. Once she was cleared to run on a treadmill, she would ride the bike as a warm up, lift, and then run/walk on the treadmill. Every day, it was the same. She made goals for each part of the process.  Her overall goal was to make it back in 4 months which is extremely aggressive, but she made little goals along the way so that when these were accomplished, she had achieved little pieces of success. This allowed her to feel good about herself and made her want to get to the next goal. She was released from the doctor and told that she could play after the 4 months. If we had it to do all over again, we would have the same aggressive goal of 4 months, but when she did play again, we would place doctor enforced limits on the playing time so that the knee was not under so much stress. You have to realize that accidents do happen and they are sometimes out of your control, but the sooner you realize that everything happens for a reason and you just have to figure out the reason, the better.

Before Jen’s school year started, we, as a family, went on a southeastern tour of schools and basketball programs. We went to a wide range of schools. It took about 10 days in total. We used our connections with Coach R through the 292 program to set up all of our meetings. We did this for several reasons. Nowadays, the basketball world is so competitive; you have to have marketable skills in order to set yourself apart from the next guard or post player. If there is a signature move that you are comfortable with, then stick with that move. It’s called a go to move. When we went on our trip, we took a dvd of her sophomore season showing her highlights and a couple of complete games. This trip also helped us get her name back out there after her injury. Our trip was a lot of fun and we learned a lot about the different basketball programs out there. Her junior year at high school was probably her hardest time outside of getting injured. She didn’t realize how much her injury had affected her skills. An injury can have an impact on your speed, foot movement, muscle strength, etc. These are all things that she worked on along with the recovery of the injury. She struggled in the fall. She would have a setback and then comeback. These setbacks happened a couple of times, but by January of 2008, she started to really feel like herself again. It was great to have her back.

Finally, her last recruiting season was here. She had such high expectations. She and her teammates were so nervous. It was unnerving for the girls and the parents. You realize as a parent how important your child’s dream is to them. You want them to have it all. You also begin to think about what happens if Jen doesn’t get to achieve her dream. There were so many times that I would talk to Coach R about recruiting and getting offers or lack of and we would be on the verge of pushing the panic button. Every time we talked with him, he would reassure us and tell us that everything would be ok. Jen had received offers from a couple of schools only to have them taken away for various reasons i.e. transfers of players and/or giving the scholarship to someone else that happened to come along right after Jen. But, it really started happening for us in the first July tournament. This was when the Naval Academy coach first saw Jen play. I think she watched her in a couple more games after that. In August, we were traveling up to Mars Hill for an unofficial visit and Coach R sent Jen a text letting her know that Navy was very interested and they wanted Jen to call them. Jen at first said she wasn’t interested in the military at all. So Coach R told her "Anchors Aweigh", purely as a joke.

I told Jen that she needed to give the coach a call and just see what it was like. After about a thirty minute conversation, Jen said that she wasn’t interested at all. During the conversation, Coach Pemper had requested her transcript. Shortly after, when the coach could call, she called Jen and talked with her about the Navy again. In the meantime, we began to discuss what an honor it was for her to be recruited by the US Naval Academy. We talked about medical school and the possibilities of going to med school in the Navy. Jen’s concerns were that it was the military and it had uniforms, plebe summer, and no social life involved. Jen didn’t see a normal college life, she saw “different”. In September, the coach asked if she would be interested in making an official visit. Jen said yes, but was still unsure. Randy and I told her to at least explore the possibility. Jen and Coach Pemper set up the official visit weekend and then the coach said that she wanted to come for a home visit first. I freaked out. The house was a wreck and I had to cook dinner. It went ok, but right in the middle of dinner, Jen suggested that she come back so that the house would look great again. Everyone laughed. When she left, Jen was definitely sure that she didn’t want to attend and play for the Navy. The very next night, we went to an information session at a local school on the Naval Academy and getting into the academy. When we arrived, we parked next to two midshipmen. We walked in with them and they were very nice. They were female athletes who ran track. You know me, I’m not shy. I asked if they liked it and what they liked the most. They said that it is hard and plebe summer is hard, but it’s not “that” hard. I said that Jen was being recruited to play basketball and they said that about 95% of the females that attended the academy were intercollegiate athletes. When we found our seats in the auditorium, it filled up quickly and was soon packed with standing room only. Jen looked around and said, “All of these people want to go to the Naval Academy and I’m sitting here undecided.” Some of her questions were answered  and she seemed a lot more open to the whole idea of the Academy as a possible school choice for her but she was still unsure about her decision and whether this commitment was the right one for her. This was on a Friday. Well, on Saturday, the Navy football team came to Winston-Salem to play Wake. Wake was expected to win, but Navy pulled off the upset and beat Wake. Meanwhile, we did some more research and found out that they will pay for medical school in full if Jen was accepted into their program. I began to see all of our signs pointing us to the Naval Academy. Then later that day, I spoke to Coach R. I talked about how all of these things were happening for a reason. He began to see it, too. On Sunday, he talked with Jen about seriously considering this offer and that it would be, by far, the best offer she would ever receive and that it was an honor to be considered. We went on the official visit.

The official visit was awesome. We went up on Thursday and she stayed with me the first night at a Westin. On Friday, we had breakfast with a couple of the assistant coaches and afterwards, they took her to meet her host player. The schedule was pretty tight. They went to a class, watched the noon formation, ate lunch with approximately 4,000 other people, went on a tour of the campus and facility, and then watched practice. After dinner, she and the rest of the team went to a soccer game. She stayed in the only dorm on campus which houses every midshipman under one roof. The next day, she went to a practice, lunch at the coach’s house, and then to the football game. After the excitement of the football game, we went to one of the best seafood restaurants in Annapolis. The whole weekend was great. She then realized that she was “home”. She felt comfortable with her coaches and her team. And the uniforms and dorm rooms didn’t bother her a bit. And the social life seemed to be more than she had thought it would be. She had a great time.

One other aspect of basketball that she has had the privilege to do is to coach for the Stealers. She is very proud of herself and feels like that in itself has contributed to her success on and off the court.  Thanks to Coach R for giving her the opportunity, coaching has helped her see the court in a different perspective. She sees every position instead of just seeing hers and the basket. Coaching has helped with leadership skills and making sure that the younger girls show respect for each other, learn how to play as a team to accomplish one goal, and to learn fundamental basketball skills. And off the court, the benefits have been limitless. She has learned how to work with people, especially younger players and their parents. She has worked with players at every skill level and basketball IQ which has enabled her to handle different situations in a way that helps others. Having coached for four years has taught her about responsibility, respect, and commitment. She has been very blessed to have been able to coach young girls in her favorite sport in hopes that they will continue on with basketball in their future as well.  Jen feels that if she can leave a good impression with a younger player and her parents, then Jen will have benefited from it as well. She has truly seen life from a different perspective. She has seen life through the eyes of a younger mind.  I’m very proud of her for taking on such a big responsibility.

As I said before, as a parent, I have learned so much about AAU, injuries, college recruiting, and more importantly, parenting. Unfortunately, parenting doesn’t come with a handbook or “parenting for dummies” book. You have take each experience as it comes and trust your instincts. As a player, love the journey you experience growing up. The ride isn’t without bumps in the road or major curves, but you only go around once, so make the absolute most of it. Jen learned a lot along the way of her journey, we all did. But, one thing is definite; I would not have traded anything in the world for our experience, good and bad. It was great and I’m really glad that it all circled around the Winston-Salem Stealers.

Brittany Strachan made a verbal commitment to play basketball at North Carolina State University in 2006, a dream that she created with hard work, and a lot of sacrifice.  Brittany's Mom, Sharon, wanted to share with you Brittany's story, but got really emotional when writing about where Brittany started to where she is now.  With some help, her story has been written.  Brittany's story is all about being patient, as a parent, and letting your daughter grow into her own:

"My husband Tim, and I brought Brittany to the Stealers when she was seven years old. The year was 1998, and Brittany could barely shoot the ball to the net. This was the first 10-and-under Team the Stealers would have, and Coach Robinson kept Brittany on the roster because she listened well, and tried really hard, and eventually, she would get strong enough to play basketball at this level.

Our 10s team that year won two games. Our first tournament was held in Boone, and it snowed.  We lost our first game something like 45-4, and our second game like 39-7.  At first, I was concerned about what was going on, because we couldn't even get the ball past halfcourt, but the girls were having fun, and when we did score, it was a huge celebration for everyone.  Brittany was having the time of her life, so I settled down and just cheered her and her team on.  Late in our first game, the ball came right to Brit' under the goal and she turned around and threw it back to the goal and it went in. I jumped onto the court, wanting to give her a hug, but I was quickly held back.  You would have thought that Brittany had just hit the game winning basket, not the one that cut the lead to forty late in the game, but, again, at the time, it was just a good time, albeit a learning experience, for us all. 

1999 brought some new players to the team, and Brittany was much more confident and ready for the new AAU Year.  Brittany was still a year younger than her teammates, but got to start and her team began to win, and win consistently.  Brittany was the tallest on the team and played center, even though she probably was a wing-type player.  I told Brittany that you don't complain or question where you are playing, just be happy you are on the floor playing.  As I look back on it now, playing out of position at a young age, which she had to do until age sixteen, was great for her.  It allowed her to have the confidence to go against bigger and stronger girls, it allowed her to mix-up in the paint, and when she did have the opportunity to play at her normal position, it just made her that much better of an all-around player. Again, this was something that allowed colleges to see how well she understood each position, showing them her versatility. 

I see and hear a lot of parents complaining that thier kids are "playing out of position".  Warning: Don't put that "position-thing" in your child's head at an early age.  If you think she is a shooting guard, but she is playing the post, so what.  She is just being able to grow her game, and again, when the colleges start evaluating her down the road, she will have to show that she can play more than one position, and do more than one thing well. The more positions she is good at, the more attractive she'll be to recruiters.

Back to 1999, we went back to Boone for our first tournament, and again, it snowed. However, this time, we went 3-0 and won the championship.  We wound up finishing in third place at our regional tournament, and qualified for the NIC Tournament (now DII Tournament) in Orlando, Florida.  We lost our first two games, and it looked like we would have a short stay there. We didn't hammer Brittany or her teammates about having to win. They were having fun, and compared to where we were this time in 1998, we were enjoying our time.  The girls then caught fire, winning three in a row, including beating the #1 Seed, and then the team that beat us in pool play.  We finished in third place at the NIC and the girls all received medals.  It looked like we had a team that was going to really make some noise in 2000!

Coach Robinson called my house to talk about what team to put Brittany on in 2000. Tim & I thought she was going to move up to 11s, but Coach Robinson explained the benefits of staying back at 10s.  Brittany was sad at first, because all of her friends were moving up, including some that could've stayed with her because of their age.  We were too, but told Brittany that we thought this would be best for her development in the long run, which Coach Robinson agreed with.  Warning: Parents, let your daughter grow into her own before moving her up.  Ask those who will be non-biased, and don't let emotion be your decision-maker. Friends will be there if they REALLY are your friends, and your daughter will make new friends on her new team too.

So Brittany stayed back, and told me on the way to our first tournament that year, which was held in Troy / Vass, that she was going to lead her team to the Nationals.  I told her that I believed she could do it and that she just needed to do her best.  Brittany was the leader of her new team. She wasn't in the shawdows of her 1999 teammates, and you could see her gaining confidence in herself game to game.  Our team won the Stealers' first ever regional tournament championship, and later qualified for the Nationals (DI), in Orlando. Brittany had not only gained the confidence she needed by being the "go to" player, but also became a vocal leader, because the new players looked to her for direction. The team came up with a nickname for Brittany, calling her "Shaq", and she was truly was this team's "Shaq".  Staying back and letting her play on age, because that was the best thing for HER, was the best move we made for her long term development.

Nationals in 2000 was tough. We were down 40-2 at halftime of our first game. We lost our second game 57-21.  Some of the girls from our 1998 team remembered how we got beat in our first ever tournament, so they didn't take losing like that too bad, and could only ask "Can we go to the pool?", after the first two games, so I knew they were ok. Look at how far they had come in two years, how could they be upset... plus, more importantly, they were 10 years old, not 22 playing in the NCAA Tournament.  We wound up winning two games at the Nationals, and lost four, and yet all-in-all, the entire 2000 season seemed like a huge success.

In 2001, the team above Brittany's split and many of the girls that played "up" an age, came back to the team to play "on" age.  This team became a power quickly.  We blew threw the regional tournament, and then won the program's first ever state championship! We went to the DI Nationals on a mission and finished in the Top 10.  Brittany was having fun, and was slowly getting better and better.

Brittany's 12 year old season began to open my eyes.  We won the regionals and states again, and had a high seed for the Nationals, however, something wasn't right.  It seemed like some folks were being critical of Brittany, saying she wasn't strong enough to play in the post, and that we weren't going to win Nationals without a true post player.  I took it personal, because it was an attack on my daughter, on a team that was "hers" in 2000.  However, I kept quiet, because it was not affecting the way Brittany was playing, and she didn't know it was going on.  Our team didn't make it as far as we had the past season, finishing in 17th overall.  That wasn't bad, again, compared to where we were four years ago, but expectations were now driving this team and Brittany was being the one who the finger was pointed at for us not meeting those expectations.

Was that fair to my daughter? No, of course not. I could've gone to Coach Robinson and say "Brittany is being blamed for not being strong enough in the post, or this isn't even her position", but what would that help?  Big, strong, agile post players aren't just walking around town, and he kept assuring me that Brittany is heading in the right direction, and that "it was coming" with her down the road. I just had to be patient.

In 2003, the team won its' fourth regional tournament and third state championship in a row.  However, Brittany was introduced to another side of basketball that she and I had not seen.  Coach Robinson invited Brittany to play on the Stealers' Traveling Team in Oregon.  I was really nervous about this because Brittany was thin, young, and very inexperienced playing in this type of environment.  Coach Robinson explained that this was a good way for Brittany to play on the wing, and learn from some of our older girls.  Since he took only seven players out to Oregon, Brittany had to play.  I remember telling Coach Robinson how sick I felt just before the start of our first game versus the Cal Elite, because I was so worried about Brittany playing against 17 and 18 year olds. 

Brittany scored 11 points in her first game, and hit two three pointers, playing the position that she was best at.  Brittany got to hang out with and learn from Chante' Black in Oregon. Chante' took Brittany under her wing, and helped her in so many ways.  Also, helping Brit' out was Meredith Jones, daughter of former North Carolina Tar Heel, and NBA Philadelphia 76ers' Player Bobby Jones. Meredith hung out with Brittany a lot and became her "buddy" so to speak, in Oregon.  I was floored at seeing so many big name college coaches at our games. Of course, they came to see Chante', but it helped the other six girls that played.  Meredith ended up being offered from Northwestern, while two others are now playing DII and DIII ball, and Katheryn Lyons committed to Maryland.  Brittany learned how to play in front of famous faces, and found out that she can play, period, against older girls. 

Brittany then jumped on the opportunity during the next week, to play in Atlanta at another showcase event, with Chante' and some different players on another Traveling Team.  Brittany was relaxed, and Tim got to go watch her this time with me. Brittany scored 16 points in the last game, and the letters started to come in for her.  AAU was starting to become an after thought, as Brittany was getting an opportunity that was priceless.  

We went to Nationals later in July, and returned to the Sweet 16.  Yet, again, folks were complaining that we should have done better, and would've done better if we had a post player.  I had to make a decision with Brittany.  Not so much because of the criticism, even though that had a hand in it, but more so, because of what she had accomplished in Oregon and Atlanta. 

Tim and I decided to move Brittany to the 15s Team in 2004.  Taking her off a team that had won regional and state championships over and over.  Taking her off a team that went deep into DI Nationals. Why would we do that?  Simple: Brittany was now ready.  Winning was great, but Brittany needed the challenge of playing up an age. She had proved herself on the Traveling Team the summer before  playing up and we called Coach Robinson to tell him the news. He explained the pros and cons, and after talking to him, we made the decision.  There was a lot of backlash from our decision, but this is what Brittany needed - growth.  We held our ground, and Brittany had another great season. Brittany's Team finished in 3rd at the state tournament, and qualified for the DI Nationals.  We got to play in front of hundreds of college scouts at 15s, as to what we would've received exposure-wise if we played at 14s.

As we moved onto more Traveling Team Events in 2005 in Chicago, Nebraska, and other places, the college recruiters followed our team's every move.  Brittany played all five positions at one time or another, something she had the opportunity to learn on her early age group teams.  Offers were starting to come in, and we were beginning to understand the value of being patient.

As a parent, you need to be a team player, yes.  It is a fine line between doing what is best for your daughter and being a team player.  The way you need to look at things is that if everyone on the team, players and parents, are truly dedicated on wanting to get better, and are doing things to get better, then you need to stay with that group. However, if your team is just focussed on winning, and not so much getting better ,then you have to look at whether your daughter is wanting to get better or is happy being average, while still winning.  It was tough making the decision at the age of 14, just like it was tough making the decision at 10 for her.  The ironic part of it all was that the ones that criticized her for leaving the team at 14, didn't complain when she was left back at 10.  Ask for advice before making decisions like this, but many times, the answers are in your heart already.

This month, August 2006, Brittany was named MVP of the Junior Olympic Games in Virginia Beach, Virginia, helping Team North Carolina to the J.O. National Championship.  Just a week earlier, she committed to play basketball at North Carolina State. I don't think she would have made it to this point if we had pushed her at 10 to play 11s. I don't think she would have had this big of an opportunity if we didn't let her challenge herself playing up on Traveling Teams in 2003, and then up in 2004.

Brittany has had to overachieve to reach this point, and yet, many feel her best basketball is ahead of her. 

My advice to you, as a parent, be patient when your child is young, don't put them in just one position on the floor, and please make sure that your child is getting better.  If we had pulled her at age seven, just because she couldn't get the ball to the net, who knows where she'd be. If we would have pulled her because her team won two games their first year, would that have taught her the right lesson? Playing up an age does not equal getting better, nor does winning regional and state championships. Have them play on their age for at least a year, and then when they are ready, don't hold them back because of "friends", or just because you know you are going to win.

Remember, friends will be friends regardless. 

Oh yeah, she IS going to be criticized as she gets better. That's part of the deal, but have her stay focussed on what she wants. It will all work out in the end.