Scholes Cricket Club: Nude Cricket
This is an independent production, and is not sanctioned by Scholes Cricket Club. Neither does the Club have any editorial control over the content or material contained herein. The views and opinions contained herein are not necessarily those of Scholes Cricket Club, and the Club makes no representation regarding the accuracy of the facts as reported or expressed on these pages.
The report that started it all
THIS IS THE REPORT THAT STARTED IT ALL - A FEW LINES IN THE HOLME VALLEY EXPRESS THAT WERE PICKED UP BY LOOK NORTH - THEN CALENDAR WHO FILMED THE BOYS ON THE GROUND - THEN WE FILLED HALF PAGE THREE IN THE SUN - RADIO FOUR SENT A REPORTER - THE BOYS HAD A BRILLIANT DAY IN LONDON AFTER APPEARING ON THE BIG BREAKFAST WITH JOHNNY VAUGHAN CLAD ONLY IN JOCK STRAPS - THE NEWS APPEARED IN HUNDREDS OF PAPERS AROUND THE ENGLISH SPEAKING WORLD - AND FINALLY GERMAN TV PAYED US TO FILM A RE-CONSTRUCTION OF SAID NUDE CRICKET VERY EARLY ONE MORNING IN AUGUST............
18-6-00 Scholes (203 for 7) beat Lascelles Hall (184 all out) by 19 runs Sykes Cup Quarter -final
The police were called to Scholes' Chapelgate ground at 4:30am on Sunday morning, as locals awoke to the unique spectacle of a nude cricket game in full flow as the sun rose over Cheesegate Nab. The five participants, celebrating two exciting wins for Scholes over the weekend, and toasting the retirement of former skipper Paul Wharton, shall remain anonymous, but rumour has it that the 'game' was videotaped, and copies will soon be available behind the bar, wrapped discretely in brown paper, at the very reasonable price of £39.99. On arrival, the police decided not to make any arrests, as the 'weapons' on display were too small to be deemed a danger to the public....
This was a fantastic game - which Scholes won thanks to the big hearts of Coldwell and Hutchison. Scholes posted a poor 203 for 7, with Wasim failing for once, and then the Hall looked certain victors at 164 for 2. But roared on by a raucous Chapelgate Western Terrace, Coddy returned to take 4 for 8 in 4 overs, and with Hutch prising out another three, an unlikely semi-final berth was achieved. What followed ensured our little club was suddenly the most famous in the land. Others have since followed - but we were the first folks.
A poem by Mr Bisby
AT FOUR IN THE MORNING, JUST AS THE DAY WAS DAWNING
WHEN FULL OF BRAVADO AND BEER
FIVE OF OUR LADS, DID REMOVE THEIR GLAD RAGS
AND OUT ON THE FIELD DID APPEAR
THEY STROLLED TO THE WICKET, AND TRIED TO PLAY CRICKET
SPORTING JUST SHOES, BATS AND BALLS
ONE UNLUCKY BATTER, WAS BANGED ON HIS KNACKER
AND "HOW'S THAT" WAS EV'RYONE'S CALL
A 'NARK' CALLED THE COPPERS, WHO PUT ON THE "MOCKERS"
INSISTING THEY CALL OFF THE GAME
AND THOUGH THEY FELT THWARTED
THEY WERE NOT DOWNHEARTED
NUDE CRICKETS' THEIR NEW CLAIM TO FAME
It's amazing how the image of five totally legless nude cricketers inspired so many members of our unique club to put pen to paper. Various folks were inspired by that most infamous of nights, the news of which spread around the world quicker than Coddy clearing the bar with a chicken vindaloo fuelled gaseous blast from his noxious and noisesome arse. From what I remember Pamment the Elder submitted this inspired effort
SCHOLES BALLS AND ALLS
It was a bright and Monday morn,
Five Scholes men so true.
Doffed their kit at the drop of a hat
And all their balls turned blue
Success on the sward the day before,
In a cup tie against Lascelles Hall.
Produced this sight of Coddy's arse
And Aussie Jack's big balls
The other three who formed the quintet,
Have yet to be discovered.
Legend says one's Bob the Bar, one's retired
And the other's got a brother.
Their antics hit the headlines,
Both locally and on TV,
To which was added two other pairs
Of Piers and Ashley.
So here's a tip for the next cup tie
Against a Delph and Dobcross Eleven.
Hide your tackle, balls and all
For that's how it's played in heaven!!
We even made it onto Cricinfo
Playing naked in the moonlight just not cricket
AFP - 28 June 2000
HUDDERSFIELD, England, June 28 (AFP) - A full cricket team was caught red handed, or possibly red-faced, playing a naked midnight game in the Scholes Cricket Club near Huddersfield in northern England.
The cries of joy from the players, aged between 30 and 40, woke up people in neighbouring houses, who, after watching the match, called the police.
A West Yorkshire police spokesman said: "A member of the public reported naked men apparently playing cricket. An officer spoke to the men, who were suitably advised regarding their conduct."
No arrests were made after the incident, which apparently was a celebration of the club's victory in a league.
Another web link
Nude cricket cancelled... (Scottish Daily Record)
Police in the usually staid - but wild about cricket - English county of Yorkshire had to step in to prevent a game of late night nude cricket. A group of naked cricketers were told to put their clothes back on after their late-night antics woke a resident near Scholes Cricket Club, in North East England. Although no one was arrested, it does give a whole new meaning to keeping your eye on the ball...
Bermudan Daily Herald
Strange but true headline of the day: -- LONDON (Reuters) - Four men enjoying a game of night-time nude cricket were caught out by British police after a member of the public reported them, authorities said on Thursday. A West Yorkshire police officer broke up the game at Scholes Cricket Club near Huddersfield, northern England, in the early hours of the morning after receiving a complaint about the naked antics. "Nobody was arrested or anything, it was just a matter of giving them some advice regarding their conduct,'' said a spokesman for West Yorkshire police. It was not known whether the men, whose game was broken up at 4:15 a.m. on June 19, played cricket without clothes on a regular basis, he added.
Naturist bits and pieces
Thursday 29 June 2000
"Cricketers stumped by police"
The players, all men aged in their 30s and 40s, were enjoying a moonlit game of cricket in the nude at Scholes Cricket Club, near Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.
A local resident, woken by the noise, called in the Police.
A spokesman from West Yorkshire Constabulary said: "A member of the public reported naked men apparently playing cricket. An officer spoke to the men, who were suitably advised regarding their conduct." No one was arrested
Nude cricketers caught 'out' by police
29 June, 2000
London: Four men enjoying a game of night-time nude cricket were caught out by British police after a member of the public reported them, authorities said on Thursday.
A west Yorkshire police officer broke up the game at Scholes Cricket Club near Huddersfield, Northern England, in the early hours of the morning after receiving a complaint about the naked antics.
"Nobody was arrested or anything, it was just a matter of giving them some advice regarding their conduct," said a spokesman for West Yorkshire police.
It was not known whether the men, whose game was broken up at 4.15 am local time (3.15 GMT) on June 19, played cricket without clothes on a regular basis, he added.