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2004-05 Program Vashon Pirates 2004-05! Blistering Barnacles! Welcome back all you Pirate Wrestling fans! Last year, the mighty Pirate Pack of Wild Dogs placed 3rd at State (for the 2nd straight year!), and won both the League Dual Meet and Tournament Championships. They placed 4 wrestlers in the state finals (for the 2nd straight year!) and placed 6 (for the 2nd straight year!). Possibly the best year ever for a Vashon Wrestling Team! Mad Dogg Mattingly (2X state champ), Rudy Rudisky (2X 2nd at state), Haywire Bennedsen (State Champ), Nick Berry (2X finalist and champ), J-Tho Thorn (2X state placer), Little Leprechaun Staadecker (state placer), Lambasting Daniels (2nd Girls Nationals), and Char da Scar Skeffington (Vashon manager of the year) will all be missed, but but but... There is more talent, youth, motivation and skills coming back that you may not know about. These guys have been waiting in the shadows. Look for seniors Eric Phillips (state alternate), Ed King, Steve Wolczko, and Casey Ligrano. Also, state participant Alex Gateman and state alternate Dom Wolczko. Read this program. Revel in the great sport of wrestling (particularly on Vashon!), and pick your future stars. Cheer, yell, and give congratulations. Watch to see as these Pirates attempt to keep the streak alive. First of all, let's give thanks: --1st off, thanks to the best announcer in the state, the real Voice of Vashon, Rich Chwaszczewski. --Thanks to the web masters and wise men: Rick Sassara and Mike Roberts. +Check out the best wrestling website in the state: www.eteamz.com/rockislandsports for Vashon Wrestling and State Wrestling Updates. --Thanks to the press: Carl Blomgren, Rick Forschmiedt, and Ask Ernest. (All the school help will be credited on the back, but special thanks to athletic director, Mel Cooley, and athletic secretary, Char Phillips (and Nelson, too).) --Grapplers Officers and wrestling program directors: BJ Nelson, Darren Fox, Mike Mattingly, Pam Aspiri, Doug and Julie Gines. --Thanks to the cheerleaders and the cheer coach, Laurie Gateman. --To Marcia Blomgren for selling shirts - they're 12 dollars by the way, and designed by Per-Lars Blomgren. And to all you fans and people who helped that weren't mentioned: Thank you! So, now to the Coaches, Wrestlers, and Managers: Coaches: Per-Lars Blomgren: "He's wiry, he's got a wide base, he's funny, he's got a tough face." That's what Nellhy said about him at the Grammy's last spring. P-L is a working man's man-he outworked all his opponents on his way to a two state championships, a NAIA National Championship and Outstanding Wrestler Award. He now outworks his fellow coaches at the hospitality room - one time eating 24 chicken gyros in one sitting before the finals. Per-Lars is one of the best coaches in the state, coaching all spring and being a key member of the Washington Junior National Team coaching staff this summer. BJ Nelson - He's gruff and tuff and a key member of Vashon¡¦s successful program. He placed 3rd at state and was a member of two League Championship teams here on Vashon. He is from Montana -"You can take me out of Montana, but you can't take the Montana out of me," he states proudly at nearly every practice. He's knowledgeable and has wrestling in his blood. B.J. helps the wrestlers improve, in the practice room, weight room, and at tournaments. He doesn't drink as many mochas as Blingham, but he gets the job done. Eric "Bling" Blingham - "Buy low, sell high" Bling Bling instructs all within earshot. "And get me a grande mocha while you're at it, would you?" Bling Bling is the oil in the machine, the computer chip in the computer, the chocolate in the mocha. Dr. Bling is one of the hardest working mugs in the business, and he'll tell ya about it if ya got a few minutes. The wrestling program would be in shambles without his tireless work and well-timed mocha deliveries. What many people don't know about Bling Bling is that he played professional basketball for the now-defunct Washington Bullets, but quit the team in protest of their socially insensitive name. You see, he's very righteous as well, so if you¡¦re gonna spit logic with Bling Bling, you should definitely get your facts straight first and foremost. Anders "The Berserker"¨ Blomgren: The Berserker won the State Coach of the Year award last year. He wrote a novel about it as well, called The Greatest Day in the World in Like a Long Time. Even though the title is kinda funny I can assure you that it is a good read. It talks all about, like, our lineup and stuff. Anders is seriously a good coach and a pretty good dude. He'¦s a teacher as well, so if you have any questions then he will find an answer for you even if he doesn't have one. He was a great wrestler in high school and college and will have you on the floor, writhing in pain if you don't know who Frederich Nietzsche is. His will is that strong. He danced backup for Avril Lavigne while in Canada, and even has an autograph to prove it, although it has kinda faded a little bit. Give props to Anders, you see, -cause he is kinda responsible for this great thing we call Vashon Wrestling. Also, thanks to all the volunteer coaches: Matt "The Wernerschnitzel" Werner (PLU Star and 2X National Qualifier), Josh "J-Tho" Thorn (2X state placer), and all the rest of the alumni who come back to help. Seniors: Stout "Stephe" Wolzcko - Last year, Stefan left for New Zealand with his fiddle and magic card set. Then Stephe (pronounced "Stephe"¨) drove over in his muscle car from Spanaway. We were happy with the exchange- He brings unique phrases from the mainland like "Don't squat with your spurs on" or "WTF, Mfer". Really intellectual stuff in exchange for Stefan's old lines "Hey Mate"¨ Like he's a Kiwi or something. Well, let's get to the wrestling: Stephe can wrestle and punishes his opponents. He improved vastly last year and will make even more looooonnnnggg strides with his short legs this year. Stephe will swallow down his opponents like they were salad fingers dipped in duck butter. He's a total naturalist and has culture. Beware World; he's coming at you with a jacked up F450! Casey "The Left Handed Landlord" Ligrano - He calls himself Rocco or Rickie or Face or Bench Press, but I know he's really the Left Handed Landlord and he's ready to toss out tenants all year, and he'll even go to court if he needs to. "Last year one tenant threw a party for their grandma and I didn't even care. I kicked them out. I said no parties and my word is worth at least 14 months of rent checks." Casey said this fall. He's serious about business and bench press. His favourite book is Anders' Game, which has, no doubt, a great title. His hero is Ralph Nader because he's got a nice haircut and a strong will. The Left Handed Landlord loves left handed animals and hits the mad dogg from the left side. He's smart and athletic and strong - watch for him to surprise opponents with his intelligence and remember, don't be late with your rent check. He collects them every time he lets his opponents make it to the 3rd period. Dr. Edward King, Junior We are very excited to coach Dr. King this year. He did a front-flip in practice last year and has continued to amaze his coaches with his love for the sport and his flamboyant wrestling style. Ed will not only throw his opponents around like rag-dolls this year, but he will also incite the crowd into a fanatic frenzy, by pumping his fists, pointing to the man upstairs and raising the roof. What up now? Dr. King's favorite book is One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and his coaches would agree that this is one of the mother-trucking best books of all-time. "Once you go black, you never go back," Ed says, and we will just hafta take his word for it, eh? Watch out for Ed this year, 'cause he's got a dream, a wild and crazy dream that ends in the Tacoma Dome, yo. Eric "Tech-Fall" Phillips - "Once I catch you in my ridiculously amazing power double-leg takedown, you're done for, pal" Eric explained to me after practice the other day, sweat dripping from his brow and a scowl still on his tough-as-a-knuckle-sandwich-face. It's true, too, and y'all will see it this year. Eric will double-leg your grandfather if he gets a chance. Eric's hero is Harry from Spellbound, and he still regrets spelling the word "banns" wrong, even though the guy did pronounce it wrong. Tech-Fall loves G-Love and Special Sauce, even though he isn't quite sure what the special sauce consists of. Maybe thousand-island? Eric loves Jack Kerouac, and once again the coaches approve of his amazingly amazing choice. Mr. Phillips is a hard-worker and one of the leaders on this year¡¦s team. We expect big things from Eric this year. Juniors: Alex "Just Gettin' my Groove On" Gateman Don't call him the Grizzly Squirrel or he'll hit you with the Wernerschnitzel. He's nasty this year, but in a good way - like bad is in good or whack as in awesome. He's funky and stronger and ready to improve off his state appearance last year. He's one of the original Mighty Squirrels and competed in NW Regionals and Western Regionals (in Vegas) this last spring. He's smart: Alex knows that the best way to get his groove on is to go to Chinatown and order spaghetti - then he'll go home, ready Harry Potter and wrestle with his little brother Todd. He bilingual in two languages, man: "!Barnacles que ampollan!" he yells every day in warm-up. Getting his Groove On likes to build things like Superman; he'll help build this Vashon program into a power once again! Alex will do well this year, especially if he can warm up with that cool shark costume he wore to homecoming last month. David "Tie 'Em Up" Twietmeyer David is one of the strongest guys on the team this year and will flex for you for a slight charge. It's worth the fee- he's that strong! David wrestled at the Lakeside Intensive Camp this last summer and is ready to punish his foes with great intensity and a hellacious knee-block. Tie 'Em Up likes romantic walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, talking on the phone into the wee-hours and fried chicken and gravy. We are very excited to coach David this year, as he is a very hard-worker and loves this ridiculous sport. His favorite animal is a liger- half lion, half tiger. He will draw you one as well, for a slight fee. The best thing about David, besides his enormous biceps, is his will to win. He has an incredible focus, a knack for the sport, and did I mention his physique? Duncan "Half Man Half" Mayshark Duncan bench-pressed 225 pounds 342 times in his sleep. Besides his love for weight-lifting, Duncan loves borscht, perogies, his bedroom, his dad, reading, writing and pain. "If pain isn¡'t your friend," he philosophizes, "then you are gonna be pretty lonely, my man." Half Man Half is new to the sport, but you wouldn't be able to tell, 'cause he'¦s a natural. He often confuses his opponents by speaking to them in Russian, and then will twist them up in his patented and ridiculously painful "Shark Tale". If you use this move then you will hafta get his permission first. Duncan is a great addition to the team this year. He works hard, seems to love the sport, and will bench-press you if you ever get in his grill. I would suggest that you don't. Wes "Work"¨ York There's a long "O" in Wes' nickname, for those of you scoring at home. Wes loves conch fritters, barnacles, and AC/DC. He will send you on a Highway to Hell if you ever question his judgement. "Don't be a Budke," he says to me after practice, with a little sweat on his shirt and a menacing grin on his face. "I won't," I tell him, but he doesn't seem to believe me. Work (remember the long "O"¨) will be our heavyweight this year and will most definitely find success. He works too hard not to. Wes likes to roll down grassy hills in a tuxedo while speaking with a Yorkish accent. If Wes could fly then he would,'cause "it'd be hella fly to fly", he says. Work is a great guy, even though he looks kinda gruff and tough sometimes. Ask him for a riddle and he'll tell ya one that will leave you tossing and turning in your sleep trying to figure out. No joke. Adam "The Legend" Laur When I won the King of Hoquiam trophy last year I knew I was doing something right,¡¨ The Legend confides to me, "but this year I am gonna do even better. I plan on being the King of the World now". This is why we love The Legend: his unflappable confidence. The Legend loves mashed potatoes, liver and peanut butter sandwiches, working on his jeep and polishing and admiring his King of Hoquiam trophy. What many people on the Island don't know is that The Legend actually sang in the original Backstreet Boys group. He got kicked out, however, for double-legging anyone who sang out of tune. The Legend plans on singing the national anthem this year, as long as his foot is healed. He is an important member of the team, for not only his incredibly fly singing, but for his tough-as-nails wrestling style as well. Josh "Sugar Shane" Moseley "I had a really good career in boxing," Sugar Shane tells me, "but I thought that I'd give this grappling sport a try. It seems pretty fly and Coach tells me that I can punch guys when the ref isn't looking." I tell him that this isn't true, but his point has been made: don't mess with Sugar Shane. His opponents will no doubt be writhing in pain this year, while Sugar Shane dances and toys with them, plays with them like a cat plays with a mouse, and finally subdues them into submission. Fo' real yo. When we found out that Sugar was putting his boxing career on hold we were ecstatic, for we knew that he could easily become one of the top welterweights in the league, not only with his one-two rope-a-dope, but with his strong-as-an-ox head-and-arm throw. Big Will Olsen: He'll mix you up like concrete. Or, he'll smooth you into a trance with his new hit, now heard on Beat Collision Part 4. You see, Big Will is a rapper. He studied with Talib Kwali and P Diddy this last summer. He was even part of P-Diddy's Vote or Die campaign - he's all politically conscious like that. Big Will trained his ars off this summer at the Lakeside Intensive Camp. (BWO helped PL rebuild his VW engine on the way to camp.) He also lifted Big weights and wrestled Big at the Big Freestyle State tournament. Watch out for his pinch head lock and left handed finger twist. He hopes to write an article in The Loop and he'll title it Sharks and Wrestling - the original motivators. (I have no idea what that means.) Big Will and his rap group (called Nuttin' Doin' in the Big Heezee) hope to host a peanut butter and jelly eating contest this spring. The winner gets a free trip to meet his grandparents in Jamaica - he's half Jamaican, half Irish. Watch for Will to make big hap's this year at 152 pounds. Sophomores: Eric "Silent Assassin part 2, The Prince Doodle" Anderson Eric has possibly the best first name inbedded in his last name. He is the coach's son and has skills. So many skills he can eat a swedish meatball sandwich and breakdance. "I love to create challenges for myself," Anderson says with a really serious look. Anderson will likely fly to Jamaca with Will Olsen to put on a rap concert. The Silent Assassin, aka Prince Doodle, was the sophmore pince this year and he is wrestling like royalty right now. He has talent and a great leg attack. Watch for Prince Doodle to not be so silent on the mat this year; he is much improved and will improve all year long. Micah "Jordan" Sohl He's got a great jump shot, just like His Airness, but he decided not to turn out for B-Ball much to Coach Sears' dismay. "You see, I can play professional ball when I'm finished with high school, but there's no money making options in wrestling outside of high school. It's all about the Benjamins, yo," MJ stated with his North Carolina tank top on. We're happy that MJ Sohl chose wrestling because he's really good. He wrestled all spring and summer - Western Regionals in Vegas and Lakeside Intensive Camp in Nine Mile Falls. He didn't fill out a questionnaire because "there's no money in a friggin' questionnaire" His favourite food is M and M¡¦s because his favourite rapper is Eminem. His favourite football team is the Minnesota Vikings because they start with the letter M. Like Money. And like Monday Night Football. MJ Sohl will switch and reswitch and torque his opponents all year with his added strength and renewed confidence and experience. Alex "The Looking Glass" Laughlin He looked into his own looking glass and saw the future: "I see many Vashon Pirate Wrestling champs. I see my sweet head lock for a pin. I see Alice in Wonderland fixing my tranny. And, lastly, I see Buddy Elf coming back this year for Christmas" Alex trained all spring and is stronger and more experienced this year. Watch for him to improve all year long. And he has a new mentor named Big Will Olsen. "Big Will really motivates me to go Berserk. I think it¡¦s because we're both part Irish and we both love Hawaiian Pizza." His favourite book is Lord of the Flies and he would catch Piggy in an arm throw if Piggy was still alive. He told me to end his bio like this: "I just want to punish the guy when I'm on top or just the whole freaking three rounds and maybe overtime". Enough said! Dom "The Guy Formerly Known as Ze Dominator" Wolczko Dom used to be called ¡§Ze Dominator¡¨ but he now goes by a sign that is real funky and makes no sense to his coaches. This does not mean, however, that he will not dominate his opponents with ruthless ruthlessness. He will. He just goes by a hand-sign now. We love Dom not only because he works real hard, loves to wrestle, is really funny, is a great wrestler, is smarter than an ox, but mostly because he brought his half-brother, Stephe, over from Spanaway. Stephe is pretty fly too. Dom has worked his tail off so hard this last spring and summer that his tail looks more like a nub than an actual tail. "If you vote for "The Guy Formerly Known as Ze Dominator" then your wildest dreams will come true" he tells me, while chomping on an eagleburger and reading Dr. Seuss. Dom will grind away on his opponents this year, 'cause he's pretty darn good at grinding. Ask him and he'll tell. Tyler "The Freight Train" Gateman If you call the Freight Train "cute" then he will drive you through the gym wall and into the concession stand. I would suggest that you don't. Even though he is kinda cute, don't tell him, 'cause he's tough as nails as well. He eats rebar for breakfast and tumbleweed for dessert, he's so flipping mean. The Freight Train placed sixth at the Cadet Nationals this last summer after a rigorous summer filled with wrestling. His coaches were very proud of him even though they didn't tell him that. Tyler is one of the stars on the team this year, so pay very close attention to every move that he makes. It will no doubt have the utmost significance, on every level: from a power-double to a mad-dogg pin. "You better recognize what I'm doing" The Freight Train says, "'cause you might not see it again until my little brother Todd is wearing the green and gold" Wiley "Sure Shot"¨ Volker Sure Shot also goes by Whitey or Gremlin. He is another talented member of this sophomore class. Sure Shot spent last summer training at the University of Oregon Wrestling Camp. His favourite actor is Owen Wilson, particularly when he's talking about being a Wildcat, and when he's Hansel in Zoolander. Sure Shot was enlightened over Thanksgiving Break when he ate Thai Food with Dom, the Funniest Guy on the team. They talked about cars, armadillos, and how they wanted to be in the mafia when they grew up. "But we won't be violent, we'll just chill out and play capture the flag and work on our bench press" they agreed between mouthfuls of Phad Thai. Wiley likes snow, and snowboarding, but not as much as cruising over his opponents like they were fresh powder. Sure Shot is much improved this year: Watch for Wiley's season to be successful and long, ending at the Tacoma Dome. Freshman: Alex "The Steamboat" Stemmer The Steamboat will steam through his opponents this year like your mom steam-dries your prom dress. Yes, he is that good. Even though Alex is our only freshman this year, he makes up for it with a love for the sport, hard work and incredible athletic ability. "I love wrestling because it reminds me of my former life as a cat,," he tells me, purring, "and cats are pretty sweet." The Steamboat will prowl around the mat, smiling and smirking until he finds his prey's weakness, and then will devour him with reckless abandon. He will even "meow" for you, as long as it is after his match. We are very pleased to have The Steamboat on the team, for he is a great kid and will become a very good wrestler. Watch out for The Steamboat, or you will be left in the wake. Managers: Carly "I Grumble not Rumble" Berry She steps in as a freshman manager, right when her brother, Nick, takes off for college at Menlo. Carly does all the important stuff to keep the coaches sane, and she's funny. She's funnier than Per-Lars and she's not afraid to brag about it on her website: www.whyi'mfunnyandyou'renot.com I crack up every time I go there and read about her having spaghetti with Brad Pitt, and catching seagulls with q-tips. Her hero is the ferry worker who looks like Charlie Sheen and her moral for the year is "Don't be an idiot." We appreciate having Carly as a manager - she's smart, wise, and funny as a peacock and rhino wrestling in a sandcastle. "First Cousin" Colette Ammon "Hi, my name is Colette, and I am a freshman and one of the best managers in the state already," she tells me with great pride. It is true. If you ever try to disorganize the wrestling room she will snap a pencil over your head and write you tardy. She loves the Beastie Boys, New York, Beowulf and pepper on her lasagna. Vashon not only has a great tradition in wrestling, but for managing wrestling as well, and First Cousin fits into the lineup perfectly. With her and Carly Vashon boasts the top one-two managing punch not only in the state, but in the world as well. You better recognize. |
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