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Where the Wild Things Are 2005-06 Season
Vashon Wrestling 2005-06 Where the Wild Things Are! "I'll eat you up!" Max said, chomping down a double leg, mad dog, and now he's coming for you! Just kidding, but seriously, there are a few guys who plan on performing decently this year for the Vashon Wrestling Team. That is, if there are no crab claws involved. The Pirate Grapplers return many veterans and welcome many talented freshman-- thus making a wild mix of experience, talent, and savvy. The team will consist of a number of returning state participants and placers. Seniors Duncan "Half Man" Half Mayshark (7th in the state), Alex "Lil' Gator" Gateman (8th in state) lead these wild monsters that are no longer hiding under the bed or in the closet. Also, watch out for seniors Big Bill Olsen (Alternate to state) and Wes "Work" York (Letteman) as they help lead the team. Other stars and leaders include the following: Micah "Air Jordan" Sohl (2nd in state), Tyler "Freight Train" Gateman (3rd at state), Wiley "Wildflower" Volker (state participant), and Alex "Steamboat" Stemer (State Participant). These grapplers help make up one of the most talented and athletic group of wrestlers Vashon has seen so far. Then there are the freshman; no names necessary, yet. But you will know them soon as they help the Pirates attempt to defend the League Title (Vashon has won the last 3 League Dual Meet Championships) and the District Tournament Title (Vashon has won 4 of the last 5 District Titles). These Grapplers also hope to find their way into the top 10 at state-- last year's team placed 7th. Come out and yell for these guys. Bring a towel. It gets hot out there. And wave it, screaming for your favourite dude or dudette. Home Events to Pay Attention to: Friday Dec. 2nd vs. Foster (5:00) and Puyallup (7:00). (Alumni Apprec. Night) Wednesday, Dec. 14th vs. North Mason (7:00)-- the only team to beat VHS last year. Thursday, Dec. 29th The Mick Guglumo Rock Tournament, all day. Thursday, Jan. 12, Double Dual vs. Sequim and Port Townsend. Then there is Districts, Regionals and State in February. Thank You to the Entire Vashon Wrestling Community! That means all of you helpers, and to be specific: Thanks to Char Phillips, the life saving Athletic Secretary. Thanks to the voice, Rich Chwaszczewski for announcing, and the media people (Rick S., Rik F., Carl B.). Thanks to the Grapplers Society Officers: Mike Mattingly, Desiree Nelson, Stacey Wolzcko and Laurie Gateman. Also, thanks to all the Rockbusters and McMurray coaches and parents and leaders. Also, a big shout out to the cheerleaders and their curly haired coach. And, of course, thanks to the Alumni grapplers and supporters. Coaches: Per-Lars "The Dude" Blomgren (101/108): P-L spent the summer, once again, braiding rye grass into cool little bracelets to sell at the Oregon Country Fair. Okay, just kidding, he spent all summer coaching wrestling: 2 clinics, 2 camps and he was the lead Freestyle coach for the Washington Junior National Wrestling Team. The Dude does not talk too much about himself-- he leaves that up to his brother and Bling Blingham. Per-Lars was a 2X State Champ in High School and he won the NAIA National Championship and Outstanding Wrestler in 2000, wrestling for Simon Fraser University. Oh yeah, The Dude can coach too-- he was voted Region 1 Assistant Coach of the Year last year. He specializes in paperwork, fake mustaches, D.J.ing, and he is ranked 2nd in the state in Air Guitaring (over 25 age division, no worries Salazar). B.J. "Big Jilm" Nelson (189/215). Big Jilm doesn't really like Ween, but he loves wrestling! And he puts his time in: coaching kids at all levels all year long, and working his boot scooting booty off at all fundraisers. Luckily his wife is very laid back, like he is, too. Big Jilm is one of the best assistants in the state, specializing in post game speeches and, of course, the half nelson, full nelson, and the father nelson. He's skilled at all three! Big Jilm placed 3rd at state as a Vashon High School wrestler and is an educated coach. He doesn't totally agree with Coach Shawn's "Git R Done" philosophy, but he's willing to support him in his efforts to gitrdone, no matter what style we're referring to. Big Jilm states his highlight so far as being the talk-off that he had with Alex Stemer last year at the Puyallup Fair. Fortunately, we know that BJ will put the talk championships aside this year to be a key component to our championship program! Anders The King Blomgren (215/275). The leader in the famed Berzerker Clan, Anders is back for his 6th year of coaching the team. After winning a state title in high school, an All-American plaque in university, and a 2nd place finish in the 2000 Olympics in synchronized swimming, the King still yearns for more. I wont stop coaching as long as the kids still put up with my bullshevik, he says, or if Coach Hargrove needs me in the pen. The King likes reading and writing, but not arithmetic. He is really good at organizing stuff, and also has a killer inside-trip, one that he will hit on anyone who either gets in his way or doesnt laugh at his latest joke. Laugh, I advise you, or you will suffer. Shawn Git R Done Gateman (98). Git R Done is helping us out this year, and Lord knows we need the help. He is not only coaching with us, but is also putting on a clambake in February, and if anyone can help him, please let him know by emailing him at Ralph@internet.com. Shawn is, actually, a great addition to the wrestling room. He often brings back tales, and moves, from yester-year, teaching the kids a little history lesson all the while. If the masses want, he tells me, I could tell them the story of the dual against North Mason in 1946. Man, that was tight! So go ahead, talk to ol Git R Done, and dont forget to bring your pen and paper, and maybe a little butter for the clambake. Seniors: Alex "Gator" Gateman (119/125). The Newest Gator has gone through a plethora of fine nicknames. He just outgrows each one and sheds its skin like a snake, tossing the remnants in the garbage can. "Bye bye Little Guru, Bye bye Grizzly Squirrel, Hello Gator!" Alex "Gator" Gateman said last week in an interview, showing off his new shiny skin and all. By the way, this Gator can wrestle: Alex is a 2x State Participant and placed 8th at State last year. He also won League, was voted 2nd Team All Area and participated in Western Regionals last spring in Las Vegas. Gator's quote for the year: "We will whoop some __________(you fill in the blank) this year!" This will be a fun season for Gator as an individual too, particularly if we get to listen to Gwar (his favourite band) during warmups. "That band just gets me going, kind of like when Master Quang makes me pancakes with cinnamon sugar AND syrup! All the seriousness aside, Alex is a gentleman, a dedicated wrestler who has developed (not surprisingly) into a state contender this year. "Big Bill" Will Olsen (152/160). Big Bill will take on the year like it's the Wild Wild West or like he says on his last rap album: "My style is like a cross between Swedish Pancakes and Key Lime Pie, I don't know why, my number one finger sticking up in the sky." (Imagine background beats from Blues Scholars or guitar riffs from Flogging Molly.) Big Bill was an alternate to state last year and he is much improved from last year-- partaking in every freestyle practice, clinic, and undergoing the rigors of the Washington Intensive Wrestling Camp. Big Bill took Per-Lars down last spring, then proclaimed "Had you fought like a man you wouldn't love to die like a dog!" Per-Lars just curled up and cried, leaving Bill to stick his finger in the air (note: remember previous rap lyrics). He predicts that we will have lots of laughing, pushups and loud music this year. Also, Big Bill hopes to continue making the VW Van trip to wonderful 9 Mile Falls every summer until he reaches middle age. Watch for Will to win many a match this year and vie for a state placement at the Tacoma Dome this winter. (PS, his hero is Stephe from Spanaway and that just plain rocks, don't it Stephe?) Duncan Half Man Half Mayshark (215). We are very pleased to have The Shark back on the squad this year. He took a summer journey to Siberia, and we were all worried that he was going to stay there and eat potato and cottage cheese perogies. Luckily, he didnt. Duncan is planning on having a great year, and his plans, surprisingly, match his coaches plans. Spread your wings and soar, he says to me, and prepare to get gobbled up by The Shark as if you were a Thanksgiving turkey! He placed 7th at state last year, and we expect to see him a few steps higher on the awards platform in Tacoma. Mayshark works his tail off so that he can kick yours, or something like that. He lists Coach Leper and Jules Verne as his idols. Juniors: Kyle "Pizza" Pringle (171/189). Kyle has hit the weights hard this off season, and, contrary to his nickname, he does not prefer pizza flavoured Pringles. He doesn't even eat Pringles. But his name remains: Kyle "Pizza" Pringle and he used to be nicknamed the Bear because he would often read the Tao Te Ching with Steven Mocco (Ok. State's Hwt. Champ) on cool afternoons, sipping green tea and chowing on sushi. Pizza Pringle will be a key contributor to the Pirate team this year and next. He is hard working, kind, and musical. We are excited to watch Kyle improve. Meg "Thor" Thorn (112/119/125). Thor is not a Viking, but she might as well be one. She's tough, confident, hard working, and smart. Thor does well in most things, mostly due to her work ethic and some magic tricks she learned on-line. Meg is a great athlete and a world class talker. She said "I owe most of my brilliant blabbing skills to my brother, J-Tho, a 2X State Placer. He used to sit me down and make me speak for 60-70 minutes at a time. He's helped me so much!" We are very excited to coach Meg this year, her first official year of wrestling (after a season of freestyle last spring). Watch for her at tournaments, she's the one with the helmet with horns and the lambs wool lined boots. Alex "Stick" Laughlin (140). Evidently Stick Laughlin didn't like his previous nickname, The Looking Glass. So, we'll call him Stick this year. Okay, you got that! "Seriously," Alex says, "you should learn two things this year-- 1, call me Stick, because I'm like a really flexible stick and 2, don't say crab claws. Those are two words that are pretty annoying, like broken fuel valves or bad Pearl Jam covers." Stick hopes to find his even flow this year, launching opponent after opponent in head locks and mad dogs, then celebrating with a few burgers. He predicts that we'll kick some butt this year, but only if we don't follow the beat of Justine's drum. Go figure on that last part. Stick will be a big part of our varsity line-up this year and he will win plenty of matches. We look forward to seeing Alex benefit from his off season training, much like a water skier benefits from a motor boat. Micah "Air Jordan" Sohl (152/160). Air Jordan's hobbies are slamming down alley oop passes from Basketball Coach Andy Sears in the off season. It is great to see that Coach Sears and Air Jordan still get along so well, particularly as Air Jordan Sohl chose wrestling over basketball for the 3rd straight season. "I just want to see him win a few matches," Andy says about Sohl, "I think he may have some wrestling ability." Air Jordan Sohl used some of that ability to make it to the state finals last year, finishing an impressive 2nd in state. His hero is Master Quang and Mike Jones, the intellectual rapper. He saw the future in a soda pop can last summer after weigh-ins at nationals: "We will do all right on the mat this year, but most importantly, we will place 1st in the nation in showering!" Speaking of nationals, Air Jordan put on a show last spring and summer-- he placed 6th at Cadet Nationals in Greco Roman and he also placed 2nd in Western Regionals in both Greco and Freestyle. He's got mad skillz, big smiles and he knows this late February we will be "living the vida loca" in the Tacoma Dome. We love coaching Air Jordan, particularly when he has given up the first takedown to start off the match. Wiley "Wil' Flower" Volker (145). Wil' Flower is a straight up hippie who loves green curry on his tai food and in his dread locks. "The texture keeps my dreads tight, it's just too bad I had to cut them off for the wrestling season," Wil' Flower said. Wil' Flower loves Ween and his mutilated lips could be wrapped around a state medal if he keeps training as hard as he does. Volker was a state participant last year and improved his stock in attending the Washington Intensive Camp last summer. He predicts that we will all find ourselves trying to be John Malcovich and vying for a team title (both League and State). And Wil' Flower will be a big part of our success. You've probably heard of Wil' Flower in the pape's, the guy who won the Pan American Free Running Championships, and the guy who said that funny line "In the days of Kings and Queens I was a jester." He is indeed a jester, but not if you say crab claw or try to poke him in his wandering eye. That's when things might get a little crazy. Wil' Flower is the man-- watch for him to get a little crazy and win mass matches this year. Tyler The Freight Train Gateman (112/119). The Freight Train is one of the best wrestlers in the country. He placed 5th at the Cadet Nationals in Fargo and 2nd and 4th at the Western Regionals in Las Vegas last year and is no doubt a force to be reckoned with this year. His interests range from analyzing Sponge Bob Squarepants to rapping over Ol Dirty Bastard beats. Yeah, hes that crazy dope. When The Freight Train hits you with one of his patented double legs, youll know it: your ribs will be broken, youll be short of breath, and youll probably ralph. Git R Done, he says, and if you dont, I will. And if I dont, then my younger brother Train Wreck probably will. Watch the Freight Train this year, please. Andy Jose Can Dousett (160/171). New to the program, we are very pleased to have Jose Can in the room this year, in part because he is a big Van Halen fan. Also: he already moves like a wrestler and looks like hes 35. His favorite movie is The Mask, which is not surprising because Andy puts on a mask before he wrestles, and turns into a ninja warrior, annihilating everyone in his path. I like wrestling, he tells me, sweat dripping from his beard, because I can legally inflict pain like my hero, Bruce Lee. Oh yeah, he adds, and did you know that my favorite food is shrimp? If you dont know, now you know, jigga. Sophomores: Alex Steamboat Stemer (125). Like a Brazilian soccer player, The Steamboat is legally trying to change his name to Steamboat. Check out his website to see the latest: internet.com. There was not one wrestling function that he missed in the off-season: every freestyle practice, tournament, intensive camp, weightlifting and brosel and spetzle eating function that we had, he was present. This means, of course, that this will be a new Steamboat this year, in large part because of what I have already mentioned, and also because he is now fueled by biodiesel. Go fast or go home, he tells me over a grande Americano, and if you cant go fast then maybe you should eat more spetzle. He chugged his way to state last year, and plans on refueling to make another run this year. We are, not surprisingly, excited about Steamboats potential and new persona. Freshman: Jesse "Gill" Mish (189). Gill Mish can hit a double leg faster than Gil Meche can throw a fastball down and in, if you know what I'm saying. But truly, Gill is a very talented and experienced freshman grappler. He's won many titles in the kids age group and also kicked some serious arse on the way to a Rainier Valley League Title last year. He's for real like that, and he also likes 2Pac and his hero is his Pops. "We're going to dominate and embarrass our opponents this year," he says, gnawing on a medium rare steak, his favourite food. Just like Manager Carly Berry, Gill likes to build off road vehicles and burn off in the woods, leaving skid marks for miles and miles. Watch out for Gill and his pinning capabilities. We look forward to coaching Gill this year, as he pleases the crowd with his big throws and raging power half. Travis "The Termite" Eberle (145/152). Travis is a freshman coming in with some experience and a hard working attitude to boot. Like most members of this team, he prefers bear claws or eagle talons to actual crab claws. But don't ask him, he doesn't want to talk about it. He'd rather go for a jog, hit the weights or make deer head mantels with his hero, Ryan Mattingly. Travis will chomp down his opponents like a big fat steak, and he may not even chew very much. He's that crazy! We look forward to coaching Travis this year and hope that the time in the wrestling room won't interfere with picking up chicks and having a 3.2000000768 GPA. "Haymaker" Hayden Campbell (135/140). Yet another one of the talented freshman class, Haymaker Hayden hopes to throw some knockouts this year. He is a pacifist, however, and will win decisions with down blocks, head locks, and arm bars. He is often motivated by emails from his brother Gareth (obviously very efficient with that thing called Time). Each email ends with this quote: "Not On My Watch!" "It just helps me realize where I am in this 6th dimension," Haymaker claims, "I mean, sometimes I think I'm eating Pecan Pie in Ballard and then I realize I'm in the wrestling room reading Huck Finn, the best novel ever." Hayden will keep improving this year with his intelligence, dedication and good spirit. We enjoy coaching him and hope to spark too many debates on Deconstruction and The Icelandic Renaissance during our trips to away matches. Eddie Scissorhands Protzeller (103/215). When we bear crawl in the room, Eddie has to wear gloves, otherwise his hands tear up the mats. Segue: Eddie will tear up his opponents this year, as if they were all filet mignons, his favorite food. Ill chomp on you, chew you up, and, if youre lucky, spit you out, he explains to me while chewing on a t-bone, and whatever you do, dont say (crab claws). Eddie won a Rainier Valley League title last year, and plans on winning some more in the years to come. Scissorhands works hard and laughs at his coaches stupid jokes, which, as you know, is a key attribute in order to fit in the Vashon program. We are very pleased to have Eddie on the team this year, and he will no doubt have success, as long as he doesnt hear the two naughty words. Sylvie Karate Shiosaki (112). Like her idol, the Karate Kid, Sylvie demolishes anyone in her way. I like the wax on, wax off part, but I like the ass-kicking even more, she tells me while effortlessly foot-sweeping Anders to his back. Her favorite band is Rage Against the Machine, and you will see her raging all year, whether its against a human or a machine. Karate is a pleasure to have in the room: she works hard, smiles a lot, and, more importantly, seems to be amused by her coaches. These characteristics will lead her to many victories this year and in the years to come, as long as she continues to work, smile, and put up with all of our shenanigans. Ben Air Guitar Salazar (160/171). For those about to rock, Air Guitar screams to me, air guitar in hand, we salute you. Big Ben, as you can see, is an avid AC/DC fan, and will air guitar you out of the bleachers, if you give him a chance. He is the number two ranked air-guitar player in the country, and wont stop until he gets the title. With exceptional air-guitaring, of course, comes exceptional wrestling. He is fearless, and has a wicked double-leg as well. His favorite foods, not in this order, are: pizza, beef, pork and poultry. Such an eclectic palette will no doubt lead to an assortment of wrestling styles, and we cant wait to see what Air Guitar can cook up. Rogen The Latino Libido Lopez (130). Steamboats crazy, and I cant wait to eat up my next opponent as if they were a chicken chalupa, with extra sour cream! Rogen tells me this while making pizza. The Latino Libido is a force to be reckoned with, and the entire state will know of him before you can say Ill eat you up. He is a natural wrestler, and, for some reason or another, he listens to his coaches. Rogen can easily handle the Blomgrens and is already close to beating the Incredible Hulk. His hero is Spiderman and he plans on wrapping up everyone in his crazy/funky/fun spiderweb before the year is over. Quin Masta Quang Patrick (171). Please, pretty please, Masta confides to me, have everyone call me Masta Quang. And, if thats too long, Masta will do. If you do not obey the Masta, then youll be in serious trouble. He works hard, is tough, is funny, and has a power-double that is unstoppable. He put B.J. through the cement wall with the aforementioned move just yesterday, by the way. His favorite food is spaghetti, which is fitting because he can wrap around you, toy with you, leach on you, like a perfect noodle. The Masta is a pleasure to have in the room this year, and for the years to come. Managers: Carly Grumble Berry. We like Carly, not so much because she is the number one ranked manager in the state, but because she is as cool as a cucumber. I like cucumbers, she says to me, with that sly smile, especially cool ones. Carly has been around wrestling all her life, and, somehow, is still a pleasure to be around. She will smile when we need a smile and will grumble, ferociously, like a lion protecting her cub, when we need a little intensity. And when Carly grumbles, we all listen. Kala "K-La" Wetzler (10) will soon need to take 3.25 days off to hit the tour bus with Taking Back Sunday, her side project band. K-La will play guitar, bass, percussion or sing-- depending on her mood. Like T.O., she likes to quote Nietzsche, but unlike him, she gives credit where credit is due. K-La is no plagiarist! Here is what she says to motivate herself and the eager wrestlers: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" (Nietzsche, Will to Power, 67). This attitude obviously helps when she role plays as Superman and eats Mashed Potatoes while reading Harry Potter. She's got skillz! She's from Foster and loves to act Norwegian in her spare time-- "Ya sure you betcha watch out for this team at state!" That's right K-La, welcome to the crew and good luck with your band. Cousin Colette Ammon. The Cousin is back managing, for her second year. I like being around wrestling because it is fun, hard and weird, she informs me, while practicing her cursive. We like Colette, coincidentally, because she is fun, works hard, and is weird. Her favorite food is pizza, as long as theres eggplant in it. Her favorite movie is Ernest Goes to Hollywood, and she actually plays a minor role in the film, if you watch closely. 2004-05 Program |
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