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Thursday, November 16
The Coachs Kid
Note: This story originally appeared in the December, 2005 issue of Softball Magazine, and was written by Thunder player Kim Krause. It's a good insight into what it's really like to be the daughter of a coach.
Everybody is always wondering, What is the toughest position to play in softball. The pitcher is the one that carries the pressure, third baseman is the player closest to the hitter, and the catcher has to direct the plays. Well Ive got news for you. The toughest position in softball is being coachs daughter.
My name is Kim Krause, Ken Krauses daughter. I am fifteen years old and have been playing for my dad since I was nine. Many people think that being the coachs daughter gives me certain advantages to the other girls on the team, but they have no idea what it is like. There are so many other things Dad expects me to do and be capable of, I sometimes find myself struggling to continue playing softball.
Lets start with the negatives and work our way up. The worst part is the special treatment, which to tell you the truth isnt so special. Im not allowed to be captain because my teammates might think he was only picking me because I am his daughter. I know Steph, my other coachs daughter, feels the same way.
The hardest and most boring thing about having Dad as coach is the play-by-play right after the game ends. Away games are the worst since we have so much time to talk about every little error made, especially mine. He doesnt expect me to be perfect, but being my dad and my coach, he expects me to be at my best every game which isnt always possible.
Then there are the complaints and other issues that always seem to come up, and no they're not from me. When somebody has a problem, or is worried about losing playing time, or wants to try a different position, or wants to know if theyre going to pitch the next game, instead of going right to my dad and asking him (as they should), they come to me and expect me to say something to him about it. Or if our team isn't performing well and my dad decides to let them know rather loudly, my teammates stress on me how mad they are at him. They seem to think that I can control his yelling, but trust me, I can't. But they can, of course, if they keep their heads in the game. (My dad made me say that.)
Although I would love to be the star of the team, sometimes he doesnt have the time to help me become a better player because of all of the extra attention he gives to the other girls. Its like he can never get sick of softball. He has pitching lessons at Grand Slam, clinics in the fall and winter, fall ball, and the regular season. With all of the softball Dad takes part in, sometimes I feel like its all we ever talk about.
Now that Ive made you all think lower of my dad, Ill show him in some good light. In my opinion, he is the best coach Ive ever known, but Ive only met a few. He studies all of the best techniques to benefit his team in the best way possible. Since he is also a pitching coach, it is so much easier for me to learn things.
If I am having a problem with something, I can ask for help and fix it before a game. Its like having a personal trainer for free. Then there are the little things, like knowing plans for practices and games, and knowing what he honestly thinks of the team and our performances. I probably have a better understanding of the game because I watched my sister play her games as I was growing up. It seems like softball is more instinctive for me than a lot of kids my age.
While sometimes its a little heavy on softball, its nice that my dad and I get to spend so much time together. Sure I get yelled at occasionally in ways he wouldnt yell at other players, but I know people who spend hardly any time with their parents. And I know he does try to keep the line between Coach and Dad from blurring too much. So if I have to put up with a little extra softball talk, its worth it in the long run.
So thats the inside scoop on being the daughter of Ken Krause. Im sorry that I dont have the humorous or inspiring lines, but thats why I dont write this column. Hopefully this gave you all some insight and a break from my dads long columns. Trust me, theyre not as long as his speeches after games. Id love to write more, but its time for me to go out and practice now. See ya on the field!
Thursday, November 16
Typical Fast Pitch Softball Coach
Note: This article was found on MySpace, on the site of someone named TAYlor. She appears to be a female player from North Carolina. No other author information was available.
While it can be very gratifying, The TFPSC has one of the most thankless jobs in the world!
Don't try to call the TFPSCs house between 7-11 PM because they are on the phone and have someone else on call waiting. You'll get a busy signal. Softball is the only subject that one man or will talk to another for 2 1/2 hours on the telephone. The coach spends a forfune every month on long distance calls related to team business. If the phone rings one time: hang-up! It means that the coach is: A) At practice B) At a game C) At a league meeting D) At the sporting goods store.
The TFPSC lets his wife do all the grocery shopping. This is not because he doesn't want to help, it is because he can't! You see, the coaches car is the mobile team equipment vehicle. Bats, balls, pitching machine etc. in the trunk. Spare uniforms, first aid kit, score books etc. in the back seat.
The TFPSC shows up at the field 2 1/2 hours before game time, because it rained earlier and they want to make sure the field is playable.
On average the TFPSC probably gives 20-40 hours per month nine months out of the year to their team.
The TFPSC is:
Harder on their daughters than any other player.
Softer on their daughters than any other player. (It's 50-50)
The Typical Daughter of a Softball Coach is:
Fortunate to spend so much quality time with her dad.
Likely to shoot him before her player eligibility runs out. :) haha
The TFPSC usually is the first to arrive and last to leave. This includes practices, games, tournaments, team functions and probably wedding receptions.
The TFPSC passes all their experience from playing baseball to all the girls on their team.
In all seriousness: The TFPSC is not rated as much on their personal success as a baseball player, but more on their acquired knowledge of the game, their communication skills and management ability etc. (Their ability to get the most out of every player on the team!)
The TFPSC will: Teach your daughter many lessons far surpassing the game of softball and truly have an impact on her growth and future.
The TFPSC is a stickler for time: you must be at the field 45 prior to game time.
The TFPSC frequently says, "Post game meeting behind the dug-out for five minutes. If your team won that means a 10 minute meeting, if you lost that means 10 minutes plus 1 minute for each run the other team scored more than you did. Add 5 minutes if your next game is out of town. Add 2 minutes for time to tell girls to listen...totaling about 30 minutes, except late games when the meeting lasts until the parks crew shuts off the lights.
When it's finally over, and this years team has played its last game, the TFPSC usually gives one final speech. And more often than not, as they scan the team for the last time, their voices may crack, their eyes water up and you will finally know just how much the girls on the team meant to them.
But the Typical Fast Pitch Softball Coach is usually ... just a Dad,
He Never Saw It Coming
Pursuing the Skills of Success
By Dr. Freddy Davis
A few years ago I was competing in a karate ...
Unkind Things Said About A Pitcher
By Hal Skinner
I was probably in my mid teens when I finally figured something out, something I think is pretty important to a young pitcher.
It is a long time proven fact that if you are a pitcher that is worth your salt, people are going to be talking about you. If it is someone associated with a team you compete against, chances are some of the things they are going to say will not be very kind or flattering.
I had trained myself to be very good at blocking out comments like that so they did not affect me during the game. However, I still heard everything. Many times after the game I would wonder WHY someone had said whatever it was they had said about me personally or about my pitching.
I heard what was said about all the other pitchers too. It took me a few years but what finally educated me to the way it really is, is what I DID NOT HEAR about some of the pitchers.
People would talk a lot about the good pitchers, pitchers they either respected or feared for whatever reason, pitchers they did NOT want to go up against in competition.
People would seldom say much at all, if anything at all, about a pitcher they were not concerned about going up against.
I did not figure it out immediately but I finally realized that all of that talk and all of those unkind remarks about me (and my pitching) were a very great compliment to my ability and my intimidation factor as a pitcher.
As long as they WERE talking about me, they WERE worried about going up against me from the batters box. If they had ever STOPPED talking like that about me, then I would be worried about my pitching.
If your young pitcher is being bothered by unkind comments from the other teams, or cheers that are directed at her, tell her to take it as a HUGE compliment. They don't do that to EVERY pitcher they face, just the good ones they are very worried about having to face.
I think folks say those unkind words hoping you will hear it, or that their comment gets back to you and has an impact on the game you are going throw against their team. They are trying to get into your head. Go ahead and let them but make sure you translate what they say first because anything unkind can usually be translated to say, You are good and I dont like that.
Take it as a compliment and be polite, be sure to thank them for saying it with a very pleasant smile on your face.
Trust me, If they DO NOT say something unkind about you or your pitching, you might want to work a little harder on your pitching. If you are really good, they will be making unkind comments hoping to get you upset and affect your pitching.
As long as they ARE talking (or cheering) about you, you are doing SOMETHING very VERY right!
For more advice from and information about Hal Skinner, click on the headline to this article to go to his Web site, or visit www.smartsoftball.net.
SPORTS, KIDS AND PARENTS
By Hal Skinner
I started playing competitive sports when I was very young. One or both of my parents came to most of my games.
I learned the awful truth at the very start. My parents' voices, coming from the stands, had a major impact on my concentration on the game.
I had been raised, as I hope all kids are, to listen to everything my parents said. The same went for my coach. Anything that one of those three distinct voices of authority said, I listened. Even when their words were not directed at me, I listened. Even when I did not want to hear them, I heard them loud and clear. When a kid hears one of those three voices, he CANNOT ignore it.
When I was 9 years old and there were 10 people in the stands, I heard them. It broke my concentration. It took some of the fun out of the game for me. It would sometimes distract me so much that it ruined the whole game for me.
When I was 24 with 1,000 people lining each side of the field yelling, I still picked those 3 voices out from all of the other voices. It is impossible to tune those voices out.
Every parent wants their kid to be the best at everything they attempt. Parents want to be there to show their love and support for their kid, mine were no exception. Every kid wants to make his or her parents proud; I was no exception to that. That's the natural way of things and especially true when it comes to parents of kids on a sports team.
At 9 years old I found out that I was going to have a major problem with my parents. We had to sit down and have a serious talk about how much their voices were affecting my performance.
After we talked it out, we came to these conclusions:
1. There are 2 kinds of people at any sporting event, players and fans. Coaches, referees and/or umpires fall into the players' category.
2. A PLAYER is an active participant in the game. They either play a position in, coach or call the game.
3. A FAN is a non-participating observer. They neither play, coach nor call the game. Their only purpose is to cheer on their favorite team and players.
4. A PARENT is a FAN, unless they happen to be one of the coaches on the field.
5. Any attempt by a FAN to become a PLAYER is not acceptable.
I would step into the batter's box and my loving and supportive father would yell out something like, "Follow the ball all the way to the bat". I was all psyched up to bat. Now I'm looking at my dad wondering if he thinks I'm stupid because he has only yelled that to me fifty times before. It broke my concentration.
If the embarrassment had only stopped there, I struck out. On the way back to the dugout, of course, my dad had to try to console me. "You'll get em next time slugger". I wouldn't have been any more embarrassed if he would have stood up and shouted, "Oh my sweet baby. How terrible you must feel. Come on up here and let daddy give you a big hug and make it all better". If we were real lucky we would all strike out so only three of us would have to go through that public humiliation an inning.
What just happened? My dad, one of those three voices I could not ignore, just gave me coaching instructions. He changed from a fan to a player. He broke my concentration and just had an affect on my performance and possibly the outcome of the entire game. If this happens to your kid and their team loses, that is exactly what your kid will think too. It can take all of the fun out of the game for your kid.
Instead of being able to focus on being the best player and team member they can be, they have to stop and try to regain their composure and concentration. That is not what they signed up to do. They are there to play the game and have fun doing it. If they constantly have to worry about impressing their parents, it may be just enough pressure to suck every drop of fun out of the game.
All parents want to coach and advise their kids at their games; it should never happen while the kid is on the field. It will not be taken well at all. If it is something that absolutely must be said, say it when your kid is on the bench or in the dugout. It will be received a lot better there. Do it quietly and in a supportive tone of voice. Never yell it from the stands in a stern or angry voice.
When a kid reaches the point that their parents take the training wheels off their bike, one of the parents will still run along side with their arms out to catch them if they fall. Most parents try and do the same thing from the stands too. You must come to the realization that your kid is fielding a position on a competitive organized sports team, just like the adults and the professionals. That is a very adult kind of thing for a kid.
A parent must give their kid the chance to prove they can do it by themselves. It may never happen if they constantly have the feeling that their parents are right there ready to catch them if they fall.
It is almost impossible for a parent to not yell out these kinds of things during their kid's game. If the coach has done his job well, the kids know what they are supposed to do. They also know when they don't do it quite right. During the game, the last thing a kid wants to hear is one of their parents publicly pointing out what they did not do quite right. It just pours salt in their wound.
A good coach will go over the errors with them in the dugout or after the game. Every adult must choose their words and tone of voice very carefully during the game. During the game it is very easy for a kid to perceive an adult yelling something to them, as the adult yelling AT them. No adult should ever yell anything to a kid on the field that could humiliate a kid in front of their parents. That can be devastating to a kid.
Some parents still haven't figured this out; if you ever make the mistake of yelling out constructive criticism to another parents kid, don't be surprised if that other kid's parent starts yelling some constructive criticism right back at you, or worse.
Remember, your voice is not one of the three voices that other kid is tuned into anyway. Let that other kid's parent make his own mistakes. Rest assured that whatever you yelled at that other kid WAS heard by YOUR kid. If a mature adult can take those words strongly, how do you think an impressionable young kid is going to think and feel about them?
Supportive cheers in general, directed to the entire team, are always welcomed by players and fans alike. A comment to a player that has just done something good is also welcomed by all. While the kids are on the field, LEAVE THE COACHING TO THE COACH. It is the only coaching the kids want to hear while they are on the field.
Be the supportive FAN your kid needs and wants you to be. As long as they know you are there, they will play their hearts out to try and make you proud. However, if you remind them you are there too much, they wont be able to do that.
Always remember, your kid will tune into your voice because you have done your job as a parent very well. Now, do your job as your kids' biggest fan just as well. Do whatever it takes to keep their game just as fun for them as you can possibly make it.
At their next game, think about what you are about to yell from the stands. If it sounds like something your kid needs to hear, you probably shouldn't yell it. If it sounds like something your kid would want to hear, yell it so the whole world hears it.
If you, as a parent, do not make the game as fun as it can be, your kid WILL give up. Your kid WILL quit. Your kid WILL feel like a loser. If they don't have a lot of fun they will never reach the point where they love the game. If you don't allow your kid to reach the point that he loves the game, he will NEVER reach the point of being the best at the sport he can possibly be. Find every way to make the game as fun as it can be for your kid.
I have been playing for well over 30 years because, when I was a kid, my parents made and kept the game as fun for me as they could possibly make it. I came to love the game and then I became passionate about it.
My parents did that for me, so here is what I did for them. I kept playing, and now I am an ASA men's 'A' division fast pitch softball, 1st place, National Tournament trophy winner.
I was also voted the ASA Men's 'A' division fast pitch softball Most Valuable Pitcher of the national tournament.
I am very proud of that. I am even more proud to say that, before all of that, I was and I will always be, MY PARENT'S KID.
The ABCs of Pitching
Working With Pitchers
Working with pitchers, especially young ones, requires a great deal of patience. It takes years for even the most ...
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