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TGFPSP
The Typical Girls Fastpitch Softball Player
(TGFPSP) is first and foremost somebody's little girl. At one time she looked cute as a button, dressed in pink with pony tails. She played with dolls, helped mom bake cookies, and has probably earned a few bucks baby-sitting. She has been, and always will be daddy's or mommy's little girl.
The TGFPSP still has all those little girl attributes. The only difference is now she looks cute dressed in sliders and shorts. If she is wearing ribbons in her hair, they are probably team colors. She still bakes cookies -- for the team bake sale; and has probably earned a few bucks -- at the team car wash. Now she is and always will be daddy's or mommy's little pitcher, or second baseman, or shortstop, or catcher.
The TGFPSP takes pride in how much dirt she can collect each weekend. Go to dinner on a night that she is not playing and it takes her an hour of primping to get ready. Go to eat after a game and she'll walk right into a restaurant with a streak of dirt across her forehead, ratted hair, stained shirt, and brownish white socks -- or brown toes with sandals -- and yell "Let's EAT!"
The TGFPSP is ready and willing to play softball at the drop of a hat! If she can get away with it, she will play on two teams (in the same day no less). She has a huge wardrobe -- plenty of tournament shirts, and shorts from all the teams she has played on. Her parents do her school shopping every weekend at the tournament T-shirt booth. When you say, "wear something nice", she thinks it means a tournament shirt without dirt stains.
The TGFPSP needs to get an athletic scholarship. Her parents have spent $100,000 on camps, private instruction, batting cages, gloves, bats, equipment, uniforms, player fees, concession stands, travel and lodging. THEY'RE BROKE!!!
The TGFPSP is a fierce competitor. She knows you get out of something only what you put into it. She is not the type of kid to take the easy way out! Standing maybe 5'2" and weighing 100 lbs. soaking wet, she is willing to stand in against a pitcher throwing heat from a distance so close that even pro baseball players would get nervous. She is fearless as she plays first or third base at 20 feet from home plate, saying I dare you to bunt -- just try to drive one down my throat!!! But mostly she is proud, for no matter what size she may be or what position she might play, no one can tell her that softball is soft -- she knows that throwing like a girl doesn't mean what it used to.
The TGFPSP is playing the game for all the right reasons! SHE LOVES IT! She could hang out at the mall, stay home and watch TV, or spend her summers at the pool. Instead she has a tight schedule with limited free time, hangs out on the practice field with a coach in her face, and spends her summers getting baked on a 95 degree field with no shade. But the TGFPSP has her priorities in order: tournaments, league games, team practices, schoolwork, individual batting practice, family, private softball instruction, church, conditioning, softball camps, and boys (maybe church comes before batting practice -- at least on Sundays).
The TGFPSP has more spirit than maybe any athlete who plays a team sport. At least it sounds that way. Softball is the only sport where a player's ability to cheer can sometimes effect roster decisions. Sooner or later, every fastpitch coach will find a player who can't bunt or hit, is a liability in the field, and spends a lot of time on the bench -- but you've got to love her because she always wears a big grin and cheers constantly!
The TGFPSP learns many valuable lessons during the course of her softball career, like:
- How to get from home to every softball field within a 100 mile radius
- Last year's sunflower seeds that she found in the bottom of her bat bag aren't too bad if she washes them down with enough Gatorade.
- You can stay a Holiday Inn for $6 bucks a night if you are willing to go 8 to a room.
- Hotels don't monitor pool usage and you can go swimmng anytime, whether you're a registered guest or not.
- The hotel's continental breakfast means: 3 bowls of cereal, 1 bagel, 2 donuts and 4 glasses of OJ.
- Never wash your socks when you're on a winning streak.
- Never wash your socks when you're on a hitting streak.
- Never wash your socks after you've scored the winning run, scored any run, or were close to scoring a run.
- Never trust a mother who says she won't wash your lucky socks.
The TGFPSP dreams of double plays, slap bunts, sacrifice hits, and future gold. Regardless of all the sacrifices, the money, the occasional bad coach, and the little hardships like having to drink water that people have put their hands in, The TGFPSP has a lot of fun every summer -- enough to make her come back each year. While The TGFPSP knows she will always be daddy's or mommy's little girl, she knows that her destiny is to become tomorrow's modern woman.
THEN I BECAME A SOFTBALL DAD...
I used to have a regular life. (Actually, many of my friends say that sentence should say, "I used to have a life", period.) It doesn't really seem that long ago. Then I became a Softball Dad.
My lawn used to be like a carpet. It was green, mowed, trimmed, fertilized, and watered. Any weeds that dared to show their leaves were pulled out by their roots. Now I have two big bare spots forty feet apart. I like the bare spots. I like them because they are the only places that the weeds and crab grass aren't threatening to take over.
My car used to draw admiring looks and comments. It was clean and waxed and shined and Armor All'd. Now it only draws attention when it wins the "dirtiest car in the parking lot" prize.
My friends and I used to spend Monday mornings talking the black bass that got away. Now I bore them to death with detailed play-by-play descriptions of five or six low-scoring ball games. Somehow, they just don't understand the drama of a 1-0 game.
I used to think anything over $40 was an exorbitant price for a ball bat. Now the contents of my daughter's equipment bag are worth more than everything else in the car together-including clothes, jewelry, watches, and laptop computer.
I used to have a great wife. Still do, Thank God. But that's a tribute to her patience and good humor.
We used to sit and talk for hours. We still do-to keep the driver awake when we're headed home in the wee hours of Sunday evening.
We used to wonder what the kids would do when they grew up. Now she wants to know what I'm going to do IF I ever grow up.
My summer casual wardrobe used to be made up of color-coordinated polo shirts, cool cottons in bright colors, and the occasional "aloha" shirt. Now I have a closet full of T-shirts blue and red. Those that don't have Columbia Rockers on the front have a cute saying on the back, like "If You Follow Me Long Enough, You'll End Up at a Ball Field."
I used to glue myself to the sofa and watch the NCAA basketball tournament and the Bassmasters Classic from opening ceremony through the weigh-in. Now, I catch the highlights on Sports Center.
I used to be one of the tops in my field. I still am. (You have to keep a good paycheck coming in if you want to support a Travel ball habit!)
I used to have sympathy for umpires.
I used to think boys were tough.
I used to think a double-header was a long day at the ball field. Now we're just getting warmed up.
We used to spend our summer vacation relaxing on the beach or visiting family. Now we hit the road with 40 of our closest friends.
I used to think the ideal woman had brains and beauty. She still does, but now she better also be quick, courageous, and able to bunt a good rise ball.
I used to look for little restaurants that served seafood fresh off the boat. Now I'm a connoisseur of nachos and smoked sausages.
I used to be concerned that I would fall into the trap of living my life through my daughter. Now I know that I'm privileged to live my life WITH my daughter.
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