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A SOFTBALL PLAYER'S PRAYER
Lord, give me the strength to hit the ball
And if I do don't let me fall
Help me to pick the pitch that's right
Then let me knock it out of sight.
Then let me run with deer-like grace
Don't let me miss but tag first base
Then on to second, stay with me, Lord,
Cause this one out, we can't afford.
Then let me zoom like a flying bird
Right down the line and on to third
Then let me slide with feet out-thrust
Across home plate in the swishing dust
BUT FIRST OF ALL, DEAR LORD, I PRAY
JUST TELL THE COACH TO LET ME PLAY!
THE TYPICAL FASTPITCH PLAYER
At one time she looked cute as a button dressed in pink with ponytails. She had tea parties with her stuffed animals and dolls and helped Mom bake cookies. She has been, and will always be Daddy's and Mommy's little girl.
Today the fastpitch player still has the same little girl attributes. The only difference is she looks cute in her sliders and shorts. If she's wearing ribbons in her hair, they are the team colors. She has become Mommy and Daddy's little hitter.
The fastpitch player is proud of how dirty she can get. On a normal family dinner outing, she takes up to an hour primping to get ready, and she still feels somewhat self-conscious. However, between tournament games she'll strut into any restaurant with a streak of dirt across her face, ratted sweaty hair, a dirt stained shirt, bloody knees, and brown socks (they used to be white) with sandals with a toe sticking out, and yell, "Let's eat!"
The fastpitch player typically has an extensive wardrobe. She has several old uniforms, which she has outgrown, but has not discarded because, well, you never know. She has several hundred tee shirts and boxer shorts from camps, leagues, and tournaments around the country. When her parents say wear something nice, she wears stuff from regional or national events.
The fastpitch player needs to get a scholarship, because her parents are broke spending thousands of dollars paying for camps, batting lessons, pitching lessons, catching lessons, hotel rooms, out to eat between tournament games, league fees, equipment, etc., etc....
The fastpitch player is a fierce competitor. She is willing to stand 40' away from a pitcher and take a pitch with a measured reaction time that even a major league baseball player would struggle to hit. She might only be 5'3" and 100 pounds (soaking wet), but she'll dig in at 3rd or 1st, 25 feet away from the batter and challenge them to drive one down her throat.
The fastpitch player has more spirit than any other sport. She'll go home hoarse from cheering and rooting her team on into the final innings. She plays the sport for all the right reasons, she loves the game. She could spend the weekend watching tv or out at the mall with all her non-sport friends, because all her sport friends are at a tournament somewhere, but she chooses to spend her weekend in the 100 degree heat, waiting to get in the game.
The fastpitch player is diligent and hard working. She knows the value of hard work. She understands that you get out of something what you put in. She is competitive and doesn't give up very easily. She learns teamwork and spirit.
Most of all she learns to respect all, but fear none.
THE TYPICAL SOFTBALL PARENT
A parent that stands behind their daughter's interest in fast pitch softball 110%, making numerous sacrifices of time and money so that their daughter can reach her full potential and enjoyment of the game.
It is the parent that drives their daughter 45 minutes across town because the five programs closer to home don't meet her needs or criteria. It is the parent that tells white lies at work so that they can take her to practice on time. The typical softball parent buys their daughter a new bat or glove, when the family car needs work and they can't afford to get it done. It is the family eating out of a cooler on road trips because the family budget really shouldn't allow for the out-of-town trip anyway. It is the parent that is always at her game, regardless of what time or how far from home.
The typical softball parent is probably putting their daughter’s softball career above the family finances, church and work.
The next time you see a parent upset about their daughters playing time etc. ... pause for a second before passing judgement ... they have probably made many severe sacrifices for their daughter to get to where she is. If you were in their shoes ... you would probably be upset too!
The typical softball parent is above all a parent! If you want to see some rotten kids ... go to your neighborhood mall and check out the kids that hang around day after day. If you really want to find out what an attitude problem is, recruit one of those kids to play on your team. The typical softball parent is raising a girl that one day will become a successful citizen. The kid hanging out at the mall, his parents don't even know what his/her interests are and don't really care.
Yes, softball parents want the best for their girls. Sometimes we may over-react, misjudge our kids abilities, beg the coach too hard for playing time, yell at umps too loud or often and we get lost sometimes keeping softball in the proper perspective. But we love our kids.
Over the past few years, I have looked closely at many of my daughter’s teammates and opponents. I have admired their spirit, work ethic and determination. I have looked fondly at genuinely pretty young ladies covered generously with mud and dirt, sweat rolling off their brow, 105 degrees outside, four games played that day and one to go, and I have developed a new-found respect for the female gender. These girls come to play ... and they play because they want to!
With the current state of the youth in America, escalating violence and drug abuse, and it is in or coming soon to a high school near you ... I think being called a TYPICAL SOFTBALL PARENT is a sincere and high compliment!
THE TYPICAL SOFTBALL COACH
Don't try to call the Typical Softball Coach's house between 7-11 PM because he is already on the phone and has someone else on call-waiting. You'll get a busy signal. Softball is the only subject that a man will talk to another for 2 1/2 hours on the telephone. The coach spends about $32.50 per month on long distance calls related to team business. If the phone rings one time: hang-up! It means that the coach is: A) At practice B) At a game C) At a league meeting D) At the sporting goods store.
The Typical Softball Coach lets their spouse do all the shopping. This is not because they are lazy, it is because they can't! You see, the coaches car is the mobile team equipment vehicle. Bats, balls, pitching machine etc. in the trunk. Spare uniforms, first-aid kit, score books etc. in the back seat. They may get the groceries, but only if he/she has a roof rack!
The Typical Softball Coach always is full of great expectations for his team. Even when the team record is 3-23. He also usually has that innate ability to find those four examples of how the team performed admirably during a 17-2 shellacking! Next years team always has a shot at Nationals. Sadly, but thankfully, he believes the aforementioned.
The Typical Softball Coach never says: We're gonna stink next year. We are 3-23 and we're lucky we're not 0-26! If we didn’t get to play so-and-so when half their team went to the wrong field, and if we didn't get that early season forfeit, we'd be 1-25. He never says we got beat 17-2 because we stink, and our best player couldn't sit on their bench. You'll never hear the Typical Softball Coach say: "Next year I think we have a shot at going 10-40! Sadly, but thankfully, the Typical Softball Coach has an overactive sub-conscious that eliminates all fear of having the worst team in the league.
The Typical Softball Coach shows up at the field 2 1/2 hours before game time, because it rained earlier and wants to make sure the field is playable. Of course he told his secretary that he was going to visit a prospective account. On average the Typical Coach probably gives 20-40 hours per week nine months out of the year to his team. And to think he has the nerve to play his daughter in front of mine, when my daughter is better than his.
The Typical Softball Coach is: A) Harder on his daughter than any other player. B) Softer on his daughter than any other player. (It's 50-50) The Typical Daughter of a Softball Coach is: A) Fortunate to spend so much quality time with her dad. B) Likely to shoot him before her player eligibility runs out. :)
The Typical Softball Coach usually is the first to arrive and last to leave. This includes practices, games, tournaments, team functions and probably wedding receptions.
The Typical Softball Coach passes all his experience(s) from playing baseball to all the girls on his team. This mean that A) Your daughter is being coached by a guy that hit .182 in Little League and never played anywhere but right field, or B) those fortunate enough to truly have exceptional coaching built on years of successful diamond sports experience. Note: Ask to see team record! :)
In all seriousness: The Typical Softball Coach is not rated as much on his personal success as a softball player, but more on his acquired knowledge of the game, his communication skills and management ability etc. (His ability to get the most out of every player and the team!)
The Typical Softball Coach will: A) Teach your daughter many lessons far surpassing the game of softball and truly have an impact on her growth and future. B) Be a living example of what kind of man is not marriage material. :)
Parents opinions of the Typical Softball Coach are: A) What a great guy, and good coach. B) What a great guy, but he doesn’t know diddly. C) Maybe if I pretend that I like him, he/she will let my 260 lb. daughter play SS. D) He stinks!
The Typical Softball Coach is a stickler for time: you must be at the field one hour prior to game time. Be back here in one hour and 37 minutes. We will meet at our normal place and caravan to the tournament, if you are not there by 6:15 AM, we will leave without you. EXCEPTION: The Typical Softball Coach frequently says, "Post-game meeting behind the dug-out for five minutes. If your team won that means a 10 minute meeting, if you lost that means 10 minutes plus 1 minute for each run the other team scored more than you did. Add 5 minutes if your next game is out of town. Add 2 minutes for time to tell girls to listen. Add 2 minutes for scorekeeper to find schedule for next game. Well, let's make this easy ... all five minute meetings last 30 minutes, except late games when the meeting lasts until the parks crew shuts off the lights.
At the end of the season, the Typical Softball Coach gets a plaque and modest gift for his 100's of hours of effort. He probably doesn’t get a Christmas or Birthday card. No letter of thanks. But rest assured, he will get a call from a disgruntled parent or two ... and it's part of the job. The best of the best coaches, eliminate this by getting kids playing time when they can, by keeping the player and parents informed of the girls status in advance, and by only keeping kids that are good enough to make his team!
When it's finally over, and this years team has played its last game, the Typical Softball Coach usually gives one final speech. And more often than not, as he scans his charges assembled as a team for the last time, his voice may crack, his eyes water up and you will finally know just how much the girls on the team meant to him.
The Typical Softball Coach is usually ... just a Dad, once in a while a Mom and that rarest of softball birds ... a non-parent.
Three Cheers to all you coaches out there ... good and bad!
While it can be very gratifying, The Typical Softball Coach has one of the most thankless jobs in the world!
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