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Lady Deuces:Words of Wisdom  
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  Words of Wisdom  


IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all (women) doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with (Queens) - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all (women) count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a (Lady Deuce, my daughter!)

Adapted from the poem by Rudyard Kipling


Several times my daughter had telephoned to say... "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead.

"I will come next Tuesday, " I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren. I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly, " We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears--and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car.
"How far will we have to drive?"   "Just a few blocks," Carolyn said, "I'll drive. "I'm used to this."

After several minutes I had to ask, "Where are we going? This
isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils."

"Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around."

"It's all right, Mother, I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church I saw a hand-lettered sign "Daffodil Garden." We got out of the car and each took a child's
hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own color unique hue. Five acres of flowers.

"But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn.

"It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home."

Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio we saw a poster.

"Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking" was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read.

The second answer was,"one at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and very little brain."

The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

There it was. The Daffodil Principle. For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun -- one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world. This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration: learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time -- often just one baby-step at a time -- learning to love the
doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead
of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"


Love Always,

Coach K


MJ on competition....

"If you're not going to compete, then I'll dominate you." --Michael Jordan

"When I step onto the court, I'm ready to play. And if you're playing against me, then you'd better be ready, too. If you're not going to compete, then I'll dominate you. If it's going to be, "I'll let you score and you let me score," then no thanks.

It's not good basketball. Basketball is about competition. That's the essence of the game. If you're letting somebody score on you and he's letting you score on him, like an all-star game or something like that, then that's not competing. Then it's just a show, an exhibition with everybody acting like they're playing. If that's the case, I'd rather not play."


Mia Hamm

"Sports can do so much.
They've given me a framework:
Meeting new people,
confidence, self-esteem, discipline, motivations.
All these things I've learned,
whether I knew I was learning them or not,
through sports."

— Mia Hamm
Member, U.S. Women's Soccer Team

"(Basketball) is a great deal
like life in that it teaches that work, sacrifice, perseverance,
competitive drive,
selflessness and respect for authority
is the price each and every
one of us must pay to
achieve any goal that is worthwhile. "

— Vince Lombardi
Coach, Green Bay Packers


You Need a Hoop!
If You Don't Have Goals, You Probably Won't Play

People often ask, "Why do I need goals?" The answer would be obvious if you were a spectator at this imaginary basketball game in the last championship series. Both teams were fighting fit. You could see their muscles ripple and almost feel their hearts pound with adrenaline as the players took their warm-up shots. Just before the game began, the home team players formed a tight huddle around their coach. "Who's gonna win?" he asked. "WE ARE!" they yelled. "Then go to it!" he screamed, and the starting five thundered onto the court.

Immediately, the home team took possession of the ball. The star guard dribbled cautiously down court and saw one of his teammates standing in the open, beneath the backboard. A quick pass, and the shot was up, arching perfectly toward the ... but it fell to the floor. There was no hoop on the backboard!! Everyone was confused, then frustrated, but there was none. After a few minutes of chaos, the game was cancelled, because without hoops the officials could not keep score, the players would not know if they hit or missed, and the fans would never know how well their teams played.

And that's the answer. Life without goals is like a basketball game without hoops. You not only can't keep score, but you probably won't even play the game. Accomplishment requires goals.. Your goals determine your thoughts. Your thoughts determine your life -- what you are and what you have. You have become what you spend most of your time thinking about up until now. If you are not happy with what you are or what you now have, then you can still change, by changing your thinking.

The great scientist Sir Isaac Newton was asked how he discovered the law of gravity. "By thinking about it all the time," he answered. So set your hoops (your goals) and think about them all the time. You WILL get what you want.

Here's what you can do: Each month set your "hoops" -- 3 realistic, 30-day goals --- one for you, one for your family, and one for your career. Be sure they are practical and attainable as well as meaningful to you. Write them on a piece of paper or on the back of an index card, and carry them with you everywhere. Look at them several times a day. After achieving them, as you will, set new "hoops". And as you play the game of life, take aim and shoot for your hoop!


"Handle success like you handle failure."

-- Pat Summitt, Coach, Tennessee Lady Vols

Lady Deuces, we've been down this road more times than we care to remember, right? Thought these words of wisdom might help us down the road...

No one is quite sure about how a player is supposed to act after a loss. It doesn't seem necessary to cry for a week, especially since you are likely to have another game within that time. Yet it doesn't seem quite right to walk off the court laughing either. Naturally, some losses will be more bothersome than others, and just as naturally, EVERY player will lose sometimes. Therefore, it seems intelligent to prepare a response in advance for those unhappy times when the inevitable happens, you lose.

First, after you lose you should think. Thinking should keep you from laughing and probably from crying as well. Neither laughing nor crying is likely to help you much for next time. But thinking is always valuable. Did you give your best physical effort? Were you fully tuned into the game mentally? What things could YOU have done better? How could YOU have prevented the loss? What would you do differently if you had it to do over? What did the other team do
to confuse you or to make it difficult? Can you se that on someone else in the next game?

There are a lot of questions to ask yourself, and those should come in place of the more common comments like,
"The referees were terrible," "The coach was stupid," or, "If only Jones hadn't tried that stupid shot."

* No one loses a game single handedly. There are unfortunate circumstances when a player misses a shot at the end with his team a point behind, or he travels with the ball or kicks it out of bounds. People may say HE lost it. But he didn't. YOU lost it, with that one turnover at the beginning, that bad pass, or that failure to talk on defense in the first half that gave the other team an easy basket.

* Get out of the habit of blaming the referees and coaches and others, and THINK. Don't decide until the next day what your verdict is. A lot of times, with emotions high after a big game, things get said that aren't meant and aren't true. But, mixed in with disappointment, anger and fatigue, it is easy to say things that won't seem so intelligent the next morning.

* Get in the habit of saying that you aren't sure what happened or why you lost. Say you need time to think about the game. And then do that. Think about it. Go back over every play, everything you can remember -- not forever, not even for a week, but certainly on your way off the court, in the locker room, on the bus home, and that night in bed. That ought to be enough.

There should be some jokes in the morning that will be funny again, and it will be time to be getting ready to win the next one, to encourage others, and to go on living. It's only after the game you should think about it. Think so much that there isn't time to laugh or cry. If you don't think about it when it is fresh in your mind, it is difficult to believe that you really want to be a good player. Good players think. Especially after a loss. That's how they learn not to lose very often.



"Winning is not everything.
But making the effort to win is."

— Vince Lombardi
Coach, Green Bay Packers


"Great players never look in the mirror and think, 'I'm the greatest basketball player.' You ask yourself, 'Am I the best player I can be?'"

- Michael Jordan

"Attitudes are contagious.
Is YOURS worth catching?"

"No matter how difficult the goal, triumph of will power over weakness will gain success."



"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't, everyone could do it. It's the hard that makes it great."

Tom Hanks, from "A League of Their Own"


Definite Dozen

By Pat Summitt
Coach, University of Tennessee Lady Vols

1.    Respect yourself and others

2.   Take full responsibility

3.   Develop and demonstrate loyalty

4.   Learn to be a great communicator

5.   Discipline yourself so no one else has to

6.   Make hard work your passion

7.   Don't just work hard, work smart

8.   Put the team before yourself

9.   Make winning an attitude

10. Be a competitor

11. Change is a must

12. Handle success like you handle failure

*EDITOR'S NOTE: The "Definite Dozen" are the Golden Rules of the Lady Deuces Basketball program.


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