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DEA Bedford Soccer Club

DEA Bedford Soccer Club:DEA Team Rules  
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DEA Bedford Soccer Club
Dale Dubois
Fax: 603-669-0900
Bedford, New Hampshire
  DEA Team Rules  

DEA-79:01 Cloutier Rule - Various Amendments
This rule states that a Cloutier must remain on the field at all times. You may spread them across the back at once, or scatter them throughout, dependant on available personnel.
Amendment: The drafter of 79:01, having a short memory, forgets that too many Cloutiers together for too long a period can cause severe team disharmony (eg. Cote Improvements v. Amherst S.C. circa 1995, Mike v. Chris), thus the Members of the DEA Elders hereby modify said 79:01 as originally drafted and add the following as DEA - 79:01(a): In the event that the Cloutiers are in the midst of a Hatfield and McCoy, 79:01 shall be suspended until such time as peace and tranquility come to the field, sideline and/or livingroom, and those Cloutiers deemed to be the Bobby Schmautz' (ie. instigators)shall replenish any and all beer drunk by Dale and Paul on the way to the game, and shall reward the remaining team members with an ice cold thirty pack of the team member's choice.

Amendment 2: All of the above applies to the Gagnon posse. Christian and Stefan have proven to be mainstays, as is Alan when the schedule permits.

Amendment 3: This rule is no longer in effect. With only two Cloutiers on the team, this rule is hard to realize.

DEA - 86.01: Fine System(Amended 6/20/02)
Another well known rule. $5 fine for a yellow card, $10 for a red. The money goes to a fund to pay for a year-end party. No truth to the rumors that in the "old" days we would collect enough money to rent the Ritz for an evening.
Amended 7/12/00: There is now a $5 fine for anyone missing a PK during the regular season.
Amended 6/20/02: If you disrespect the DEA colors and leave your uniform at the field, you will be fined $5 and verbally taunted with insults thrown in your general direction.

DEA - 92.01: Home Field Representation Rule
DEA Soccer Club must maintain at least one player at the field during the post game events until the last of the opposing team players have left the field. This can also be observed(and most of the time is) when DEA is playing away. This sometimes can take hours, ie. the Dover game of 1998 at Sportsmans Field when the opposing team had lawn chairs and grills..... be prepared.

DEA - 92.02: Don't Touch our Goalie Rule
This is a simple one. You touch our goalie, you will pay. As outlined by Doug Blais in Keene years ago, after being run by some meathead, "Hey, my fullbacks won't stand for that". Appropriate action was taken. Doug also agree to pay for the yellow card that resulted, a noble gesture from a classy keeper.

DEA 93:01-Road Map Rule
If you forget your shin guards for a game, as demonstrated by Jay Healy in Concord, a set of road maps will do just fine.

DEA - 96.01: No Touching Paul Rule
No one is allowed to touch Paul following a match. This has been known to cause a highly stressful situation and is best avoided.

DEA - 97.01: Food Left in Truck Rule
Any food left in the truck while a player is off on another mission is free game for the remaining players in the truck. The origin of this rule came following a stop at Burger King after a match in Tilton during Ryan Cloutier's rookie season.

DEA - 98.01: Once to the Nose Rule (Amended 7/9/00)
Following the 1998 Exeter Incident, It is no longer allowed to go to the nose more than once following a match. As always, the last one to the nose (when there is 6 or less beers in the cooler) has to go to the store for more beverages.
AMENDMENT: This amendment is scripted to clarify the beer etiquette necessary should there be an abundance of beverages. Case history recently established by John "I can kick with both feet, and drink with both hands" Cloutier, dictates that should there be plenty of beer for all team members and fans at any post game gathering, any team member travelling to the cooler/fridge can announce "I am only getting beer for myself" and negate the age old custom of taking care of not only his teammates, but any family or loved ones in attendance.(Cite: Chris and Ann Marie's Garage, 7/9/00; Beer, Budweiser; Attendees: Chris, Mike, J.Gray, Selfish Sweeper, Dale, John G., Colin and Dana.)

DEA 2001:04
As per an amendment on Jim Gray's original 1991 contract, the #8 jersey must be worn only by a minority. Gray has all rights of refusal, and the jersey must be returned to him once he makes his return.

DEA - 200+
Forwards must have an aggregate weight of no less than 400lb.s. Exception: Weight will be determined at annual preseason weigh-in and carried for the season with the hope that Deco loses more weight than Kurt, Colin or Dana. Caveat: All forwards are automatically members of the FGRC (Fat guy running Club).
NOTE: JD - once in, always in, so throw away those high school Levis cords.

Monday, January 1
DEA 2001:03
When a player retires from DEA's active roster, DEA Management reserves the right to request such players services for a period of up to Five (5) years. Said player cannot play for another team during this probationary period unless they are provided a free-release from DEA Management. To gain this release, DEA Management may invoke a penalty of one (1) slide tackle to the player in question's shins. This slide tackle to be invoked by Dale or Paul.

This rule applies to all clubs in DEA's franchise (Bedford Pacers, DEA Indoor, and DEA-Bedford Soccer Club)

DEA Bedford Soccer Club
DEA Bedford Soccer Club
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