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Softball Players Prayer Lord, give me strength to hit the ball, And if I do, don't let me fall. Help me to pick the pitch that's right, Then help me knock it out of site. Then let me run with deer-like grace, Don't let me miss but tag first base. Then on to second, stay with me Lord, 'Cause this one out we can't afford. Then let me zoom like a flying bird, Right down the line and on to third. Then let me slide with feet out-thrust, Across home plate in the swishing dust. But first of all dear Lord I pray, Just tell the coach to let me play!! Author Unknown
You know you're a softball junkie if... · You need a second job (or your parents do) just to pay for gloves, bats, equipment, uniforms, player fees, batting cages, etc... · Your second job is umpiring at softball games. · Your idea of spending quality time with your spouse is playing on the same co-ed team. · You have more than one bat that cost over $200. · You go to the softball fields on nights your team isn't even playing. · You used to rest and relax on the weekends, now the only rest you get is between games at a tournament. · You think "wearing something nice" means an all-tournament shirt with no dirt stains. · When someone says they are going out of town this weekend. You ask if there is a tournament there. · All your white socks have dirt stains from playing softball. · Your idea of a weekend getaway is a two-day tournament in (insert town name). · You have a tattoo that says softball forever. · You plan your summer vacation each year around the state softball tournament. · You own more softball t-shirts than pairs of underwear. · Your girlfriend / boyfriend knows when you ask them out to dinner you really mean pizza after the game. · You tape your bat handles with various designs and use only tape with team colors. · You have a softball website.
Wife: 'Who's Ray Wendt?' George: 'He saved us from losing last week.' Wife: 'Really? Is he a pitcher or a fielder?' George: 'Neither. He's the umpire.' In a tense game, a batter was given out, a decision with which he obviously disagreed. He paced up and down outside the field until the umpires came out. 'I wasn't out, you know,' he said to the umpire. 'Oh, no? Look in the paper tomorrow!' said the umpire. Mrs Jones : I'd like my daughter to be excused playing softball. I don't think he should mix with that sort of person. Teacher: How d'you mean? Mrs Jones: Well; I distinctly heard her say that the man in the blue shirt was a vampire! In a local match, the umpire was being jeered and heckled unmercifully from the crowd. At length he walked over to the boundary and sat down next to his chief critic. " What are you doing?" asked the spectator. " Well," said the umpire,"it seems you get the best view from here." Sunday, January 13
A: His guide dog bites him. Q: Why are umpires so useful to society in their day jobs? A: Because speed humps can slow traffic and save lives. Q: What's the hardest decision an umpire has to make after a game? A: Which white cane to pick up in the dressing room. Q: What do you call a good umpire? A: Rare. Q: How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, being able to see anything clearly has no relevance to their lives. Q: What do you call an umpire with an IQ greater than his shoe size? A: Gifted
An umpire went to heaven. On arriving at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter asked him if he had done anything wrong in his life. He replied that he was umpiring a world series game between the Yankees and the Mets in NY. With the Mets 2:3 down, at the bottom of 9th with bases loaded and 2 out, he called a strikeout against the Mets batter. 'But', he said, 'it wasn't really a strike'. St Peter said to him, 'when was this?'. The umpire looked down at his watch and said 'about 35 seconds ago'.
The devil challenged St. Peter to a baseball game. " How can you win, Satan?" asked St. Peter. "All the famous ballplayers are up here." " How can I lose?" answered Satan. "All the umpires are down here. Sunday, January 13 The frozen hamburger is hard as a rock And the big game starts at two; Your girl can't find her softball cleats And the dog ate the leftover stew! No reason for pressure or panic - This problem is really quite tame. Just drive thru the nearest McDonald's And eat on the way to the game! Yes, softball season is hectic at times But we're certain that it is worthwhile When we see how the girls on all of the teams Improve in their overall style. They're willing to practice daily - They spend lots of their time at the park Batting and pitching and fielding Sometimes from daylight to dark! Parents have served spaghetti dinners And sold raffle tickets galore, Assisted with fund-raising efforts Then offered to do even more. They've given their time quite freely From coaching, scorekeeping and scouting To just sitting in the bleachers Leading cheers or simply shouting! These girls know the thrill of victory But they've coped with defeat as well; They've learned the meaning of sportsmanship - In this field they really excel! They could succeed in anything they wanted But softball's the sport that they choose, They deserve our commendation - They are Champions - win or lose!
Saturday, January 26
Quotes "Besides pride, loyalty, discipline, heart, and mind, confidence is the key to all the locks." - Joe Paterno
"Some people dream of success while others stay up and work hard at it." - Unknown |
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