Bridgeport Bandit Sports Association: Archives: How to be a good parent and help your daughter be the best softball player she can be
Saturday, January 26How to be a good parent and help your daughter be the best softball player she can be
Show Interest
Make sure your daughter knows you are interested in her participation in this sport.
Watch practice when you can. Come to as many games as possible. Ask her how
practice went. Ask her if she had fun after practice or after a game. Do whatever you
can to let your daughter know you are interested in her and her softball life!
Focus More on Progress than Skill Level
Stop focusing so much on how high your daughter’s batting average is or whether she
is one of the best fielders on the team. Instead acknowledge progress that your
daughter is making in her own skills. For example, let her know you realize that she can
now throw a full 60 feet instead of just 40; or that she struck out less this week than last
week. Maybe your daughter can now successfully do something she couldn’t do before
(steal a base, put down a needed bunt, field a grounder with a backhand, etc). Let her
know that you see her improvements and are proud of her for getting better.
Words to your daughter during a Game – Choose Wisely
Before you say something to your child during a game from the sideline, think about it.
Is what you are about to say something that you think your child needs to hear? For
example, “Don’t swing at the high pitches.” Or is it something your child would want to
hear? “Great hit Jaime!” If it’s something you think your child needs to hear, try to keep
the comment to yourself. If it’s something your child would want to hear, by all means,
say it loud and proud!
Other things you say during a game – Be careful
No player wants their parent to be the one in the stands arguing with other fans and/or
parents. Refrain from giving “constructive” criticism to other players. For one thing,
your voice is not one those players hear during the game. When I was playing, the only
voices I heard were my teammates, my coaches, and my father. That’s it. Everyone
else the crowd was just noise. The same it true for most players. So whatever
“constructive” criticism you have for another player will probably not be heard by that
player. Your child will probably hear it which may distract them from what’s going on in
the game. And I assure you, the parent of the player you address will most certainly
have heard what you said. Not all parents take that sort of thing well and they may be
inclined to yell out some sort of “constructive” criticism for your daughter next time they
have a chance. Players can really do without that type of negativity on the sideline and
we certainly don’t want to start any type of parent confrontation during the game over a
few misunderstood comments.
Of course, if you have something positive to say about any player, please go ahead
and share that excitement and positive feeling with everyone.
Stop Dwelling on Mistakes!
Most parents I know will go over their child’s mistakes with them after the game. That in
itself is not a bad thing. But to dwell on it for an extended period of time (i.e. the entire
hour long ride home, during your whole dinner conversation, in conversations the next
day, etc) is not a good thing. Why? Because players need to learn, it’s not the mistake
that matters most, but how they recover from that mistake that really, really matters.
When you dwell on mistakes and continue to think about them, it’s very difficult to focus
your energy on getting better for the next game. Part of your mind is still in the past. As
parents, when we continue to analyze everything our daughter did wrong over and over
and over again, we aren’t helping. How is she going to put it out of her mind so she can
focus 100% on improving? How is she going to recover?
Just like any parent, my dad always had something to say after game. But you know
what? I don’t think he ever told me anything I didn’t already know. He didn’t say
anything I hadn’t already gone over in my head for myself. So there really was no need
go over it again and dwell on it. Give the game a few moments of thought, yes.
Discuss it briefly, learn from it, understand what you can better, then forget about the
mistakes and concentrate 100% on the future. The mistakes are over and done with.
No amount of thinking is going to change what happened. Learn from it and move on.
Even the best players in the game make mistakes, but the thing that sets them apart
from other players is their recovery. They know how to come right back! They don’t
waste time thinking about what could have been. Are you training your daughter to
dwell on mistakes? Or are you helping her learn to deal with it, learn from it, and move
on?
About the Author
Stacie Mahoe is the owner of www.AllAboutFastpitch.com.
Sign up for her Free Fastpitch Membership and additional softball tips at www.FreeFastpitchTips.com