Bonney Lake Basketball Boosters: Parent Expectations

The Parent Role In Panther Athletics

Communicating With Your Student Athlete

Ø      Make sure your student knows that win or lose, scared or heroic, you love them, appreciate their efforts and are not disappointed in them. This will allow them to do their best without fear of failure. Be the person in their lives they can look to for constant positive reinforcement.
Ø      Try your best to be completely honest about your teenager’s athletic ability, competitive attitude, sportsmanship and actual skill level.
Ø      Be helpful but don’t coach them. It’s tough not to, but it is a lot tougher for the teenager to be flooded with advice and critical instruction.
Ø      Teach them to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be “out there trying,” to be working to improve their skills and attitudes. Help them develop the feeling for competing, for trying hard, for having fun.
 Ø      Parents need to enjoy the thrill of competition, as spectators. Please be respectful to all officials, coaches, players, and other spectators. Your positive support for all competitors will make your athletes sport experience a fun and enjoyable one. The worst thing that can happen is for a parent to an embarresment to the athlete, from their actions. The embarresment will be remembered for a lifetime. 
Ø      Try not to relive your athletic life through your teenager in a way that creates pressure. You were frightened, backed off at times and were not always heroic. Athletic children need their parents, so do not withdraw. There is thinking, feeling, sensitive, free spirit in that uniform who needs a lot of understanding, especially when their world turns bad. If they are comfortable with you win or lose, then they are on their way to maximum enjoyment.
Ø      Don’t compete with the coach. If your teenager is receiving mixed messages from two different authority figures, he or she will likely become disenchanted.
Ø      Don’t compare the skill, courage or attitude of your athlete with other members of the team.
Ø      Get to know the coaches. Then you can be assured that his or her philosophy, attitudes, ethics and knowledge are such that you are happy to have your student under his leadership.
Ø      Always remember that students tend to exaggerate, both when praised and when criticized. Temper your reaction and investigate before overreacting.
Ø      Make a point of understanding courage and the fact that it is relative. Some of us climb mountains and are afraid to fly. Some of us will fly but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in certain areas. Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but a means of doing something in spite of fear and discomfort.

Communications To Expect From The Coach

Ø      Philosophy of the coach
Ø      Expectations the coach has for your student
Ø      Locations and times of all practices and contests
Ø      Team requirements (fees, special equipment, off- season conditioning)
Ø      Discipline that results in the denial of your students participation
Communication Coach Expects From Athlete/Parents

Ø      The Coaching staff expects the student athletes to advocate for themselves. They need to learn to communicate their own concerns. It is an important skill that the student will need in their adult lives. The athlete is expected to seek guidance from the coaches first. Encourage and teach your student appropriate communication and problem solving skills.
Ø      Notification of any schedule conflicts well in advance
Ø      Specific concerns in regard to expectations.
Appropriate Concerns To Discuss With The Coach


Ø      The treatment of your child, mentally and physically
Ø      Ways to help your student improve
Ø      Concerns about your students behavior

 Issues Not Appropriate To Discuss With The Coach 

Ø      Playing time
Ø      Team strategy
Ø      Play calling
Ø      Other student-athletes

 Procedure For Discussing Concerns With The Coach 

Ø      Call to set up an appointment with the coach
Ø      Concerns should not be discussed via email. These communications can be sensitive in nature and need to be discussed face to face. E-mails sent asking coaches to not share with the player is inappropriate, and puts the coach in a difficult position. E-mails if sent can be shared with the player and school officials if sensitive in nature. Ø      Do not confront a coach before or after a contest or practice (these can be emotional times for all parties involved and do not promote resolution)

 If The Meeting With The Coach Did Not Provide A Satisfactory Resolution 

Ø      Call the school and set up an appointment with the athletic administrator.
Ø      Determine the appropriate next step at this meeting