Gun Hill Youth Football and Cheerleading Alliance: Rebelmania: Parents Page - Advice for Parents

Parents Page - Advice for Parents
Steve Scholfield
North County Times (North Carolina)
As we get ready for another season of high school and Pop Warner football, I have some advice for parents:

Cool it.
Don't take the fun out of the game because you think the coach isn't doing right by your son. Or, as El Camino High football coach Herb Meyer so succinctly put it, "Think before you bark."
The amount of meddlesome parents, especially at the high school level, is growing at an alarming rate. While the majority of parents have the right attitude, there are some whose actions are siphoning the joy out of the sport for their children.
The reasons for this are many.
Some dads relive their own playing days through their sons. The lure of getting a college scholarship is so great that some parents want to take an active part in coaching their child's team.
In the last three years, I have listened to more dissatisfaction from parents than in the previous 10 years.
At six different North County school districts, by my count, parents went to either the principal, district superintendent or to members of the school board seeking to get coaches reprimanded on seemingly frivolous charges. All did this without talking to the head coach first.
When you cut through all the accusations, the bottom line was this: Their children were not getting enough playing time.
That's a sad commentary on the state of the some parents.
Meyer, entering his 43rd year of coaching, is a nationally known speaker on various aspects of successful football. He recently gave a clinic at the Montana State Athletic Director's Association on dealing with parents.
Meyer admitted that much of the frustration from parents comes because of playing time.
"Somebody thought I was smart enough to make some decisions," said Meyer. "One of those decisions is selecting personnel and determining who should play and when and how they should play."
No one can argue with Meyer's success rate. With 312 wins, he is the winningest coach in California and 18th on the all-time national win list.
How should a parent handle it when they think their child isn't getting enough playing time?
I would hope and this is my opinion that a 17- or 18-year-old would fight his own battles. That youngster should have the gumption to go to his position coach or the head coach and ask, "What can I do to improve?"
Meyer agrees, but leaves room open for the parents to communicate with him and his staff.
"I think that you have to give everybody the opportunity to discuss something with you, but I think certain things are not negotiable," he said. "In my particular way of doing things, playing time is not negotiable. Talking about other athletes is not negotiable and criticizing my strategy is not negotiable."
When I reminded him that I question his play-calling all the time, Meyer smiled and said, "You, I can't control. You buy your ink by the barrel."
Meyer suggests if a parent wants to talk to him about their son, they should make an appointment.
"They should not show up in the middle of practice or try to discuss it after a contest, because there is too much emotion in the air at that point," said Meyer.
And what will Meyer tell that parent? He will give them an honest evaluation of what their child needs to do to improve.
You can't ask much more than that.
How would Meyer like to see parents at all schools act?
"As a staff, we would like them to be supportive of their son or daughter and the entire athletic program," he said. "Their concern should be that their kid has a fair opportunity. They have a right to expect that we have the right equipment and the best instruction possible. That's our job."
Well said. Well worth remembering.